Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 24 part 10
In this update, Harry and Hermione dispense relationship advice. Yes, this really belongs towards the end of the final chapter. I don't think.
Just as they were ready to depart the Great Hall, Harry and Hermione were surprised as Ginny approached them.
“Ginny,” Harry said with surprise. “What are you doing here on a Friday?”
Ginny for the entire year had a rather cushy schedule that involved no classes on a Friday. Therefore, it was surprising to find her here today.
Just as he thought the annoying redundancy couldn't possibly get any more annoyingly redundant, szaleniec1000 came across the most annoying redundancy yet.
"This is annoyingly redundant," he said with annoyance at the redundancy.
The redundancy was annoyingly redundant. Therefore, its redundancy was annoying.
Okay, let's reword that passage to convey the same information in 20 words rather than 60:
As Harry and Hermione went to leave the Great Hall, Ginny approached them.
"Isn't it your day off?" Harry asked.
A lot of what's no longer being explicitly stated can be inferred from this. The thrust is that Harry runs into Ginny and is surprised at her being there on a Friday because it's her day off. Whereas the original tells us he's surprised three times, the rewrite doesn't tell us even once but instead shows us. Also, the rewrite doesn't bother telling us it's Friday because the section is headed "Friday, June 25, 2004".
Harry looked at Hermione and immediately knew she was having the same thoughts as him.
The fact that she always has the same thoughts as him in this fic and that their POVs are interchangeable was a bit of a giveaway.
Through out most of the year Ginny had been bosom buddies with Sybil Trelawney. Why now suddenly was she seeking them out?
Because it's possible to have more than one friend? The whole "Ginny and Trelawney are BFFs" thing seems to be made up entirely, or possibly imported from Psychic Serpent, as in canon there's no indication that they have any kind of relationship beyond teacher/student. Or even that she took Divination at all.
Hermione could tell that Ginny seemed rather nervous and stressed out.
How could she tell, and why are we suddenly in her POV?
Harry helped Hermione prepare the tea as the three discussed meaningless school matters.
Now the author decides to skim over the irrelevancies. We could have done with some of that in the previous scene.
Finally, when all three were seated, Ginny looked at Hermione and blurted out, “Who do you think would make a better husband and father, Draco or Severus?”
"Neither!" said canon!Hermione. "Have you gone mad?"
I'm a little perturbed that Ginny, who's neither pregnant nor has expressed any desire to be, is asking about prospective partners on the basis of whether they'd make good fathers. Given the author's established attitude towards women and reproduction, I'm not inclined to interpret this charitably.
Hermione was taken aback as the question caught her completely off guard. Hermione truthfully had not even ever considered either man in such a role in her life.
Well, that's something.
Ginny face bore the look of total frustration.
She's been reading Hogwarts Exposed.
“I’m not back with Draco, but we are on a much friendlier basis again although he does at times aggravate me beyond imagination. As for Severus, I know he’d be willing to play such a role because he asked me to marry him.”
This is the first we've actually been told as readers that they're an item. We first learned that Ginny was seeing someone in Chapter 22 but the scene involved her talking to and snogging an unidentified presence. This worked about as well as you'd expect.
Harry was extremely glad he didn’t have a mouth full of tea when Ginny announced this news; else someone would have been wearing it.
It was enchanted so he'd be forced to spit-take when he tried drinking it. Five Knuts from the Hogwarts Express trolley.
Ginny’s eyes bored into Harry. “You think its ridiculous, don’t you? That I’m dating someone over twice my age?”
“I didn’t say that,” Harry said defensively.
I don't think Harry is the one being defensive here.
“I just inquired as to whether you two had been dating. But now that you mention it; he is easily old enough to be your father.”
"I hadn't thought of that incredibly obvious fact before!"
“Severus thought if anyone would understand it would be the two of you. I guess he was wrong.” Ginny spouted angrily
I couldn't take "spouted" seriously when Deserving used it, and I can't here.
“Ginny, Harry didn’t say whether he approved or not. He just stated facts. What he said is true, but Severus is also an extremely attractive and kind man
No, he isn't. Or (to be far more charitable than this fic deserves) if anyone does think that, Hermione isn't one of them.
Ginny nodded her head. Although she doubted it would help, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to at least have someone she could talk with. “It all started last October when Severus and I both happened to be up in the Astronomy tower at the same time.”
See Chapter 9.
That weekend I was headed to London on the train and Severus had to go to the Ministry to meet with the governors of the school. We sat together and talked again. I couldn’t get over how different Severus the man was as compared to Severus the professor.”
And for some reason Harry and Hermione also know about "Severus" the man as compared to the professor, despite not having anything more than a professional relationship with him, and go on about how wonderful he is at every opportunity. What's wrong with Snape just being a bastard? He was much more interesting that way. I'm not counting the hyperempathic breast-fondling incident because everyone in the fic also seems to have forgotten about it.
“It was late when we reached London, so we decided to have dinner together. We were just two associates dining jointly. At least that’s what we kept telling ourselves.
They kept telling themselves over the course of one dinner?
After that weekend I started to go to the Astronomy Tower in hopes of finding him there and he told me later that he was doing the same thing.”
Ah yes, the Edward Cullen approach to romance.
“By Christmas we were purposely meeting in London every weekend. I loved being with him. He made me feel so special and wanted. Something I hadn’t felt for a long time.” Ginny looked at Hermione and confessed. “Up until then we had never even kissed, not real kisses, just pecks on the cheek. I kissed him first and it was my suggestion that we share a room Valentine’s weekend.
The subtext here is that Ginny is what her mother would call a "scarlet woman" for daring to (gasp) take the initiative in the relationship! Not like pure, saintly Hermione. I hate this fic.
“Yes,” Ginny answered. “Draco had been going to London practically every weekend, Neville, too. Although neither of them ever said anything, I expect they thought something was going on between Severus and me.
I don't think so. It's not like anyone's especially perceptive in Hogwarts Exposed.
A few times they shared a compartment with us on the train, but most times they left us to ourselves.
“At first Severus and I joked about seeing Neville and Draco together on the train every week. We kidded that they were traveling to London to be together.
Actually making this a pairing might have been interesting, so instead we just have it as a throwaway attempt at a joke.
In actuality Draco was involved with a witch that he had met just prior to the start of school. Her husband found them out in March and there was quite a row. Seems they have two children. Draco would never want to breakup a family and so he immediately stopped seeing her.”
Because Draco's a bastard, but not that much of a bastard.
Harry looked at Hermione and shook his head slightly in disgust, not enough that Ginny noticed.
Harry notices that Ginny didn't notice?
“Did you initiate getting back together with Draco or did he?”
“Oh! It was me. I approached him in September, trying to reconcile our differences, but it took him sometime to think it out in his head.” Ginny seemed to be defending Draco.
You reckon?
“The very beginning of April,” Ginny quickly answered. “I just don’t know what to do. Severus has been so wonderful to me, but after all Draco is Draco. How can I ignore a chance to get back with him?”
Harry was about now feeling a powerful urge to strangle Ginny, but resisted.
“Ginny?” Hermione asked. “I want to make sure I have all the facts straight in my head. Am I correct in saying that Draco knows you have been seeing Severus? How about Severus? Does he know that Draco now wants you back?”
“Yes, Severus knows,” Ginny replied.
“And how may I ask does he feel about that?” Harry asked, trying to control his anger.
Why does Harry care so much about Ginny's relationship woes and Snape's feelings that he's having trouble controlling his anger?
Harry didn’t say a word, but wanted to bang his head on the table.
I know how he feels.
Then he realized that it would serve more purpose if he banged Ginny’s head instead of his own.
And even more purpose to bang the fic against the nearest wall.
From there the conversation drifted off to other topics and after a brief time Ginny offered some excuse as to why she had to be leaving and after thanking them for their time she hurried out the door.
It looks like part of his outline has found its way into his final draft.
The door had no more than closed when Harry commented to Hermione, “I hope she chooses Draco.”
Hermione couldn’t believe her ears. “Why Draco?”
“If she can’t figure out on her own that Severus is worth a hundred Dracos, she doesn’t deserve him”
From canon!Hermione's canon!Harry's (thanks, amideadn0w!) perspective, Snape is a better partner than Draco in the same way that being shot is better than being disembowelled.
Concluded...
Just as they were ready to depart the Great Hall, Harry and Hermione were surprised as Ginny approached them.
“Ginny,” Harry said with surprise. “What are you doing here on a Friday?”
Ginny for the entire year had a rather cushy schedule that involved no classes on a Friday. Therefore, it was surprising to find her here today.
Just as he thought the annoying redundancy couldn't possibly get any more annoyingly redundant, szaleniec1000 came across the most annoying redundancy yet.
"This is annoyingly redundant," he said with annoyance at the redundancy.
The redundancy was annoyingly redundant. Therefore, its redundancy was annoying.
Okay, let's reword that passage to convey the same information in 20 words rather than 60:
As Harry and Hermione went to leave the Great Hall, Ginny approached them.
"Isn't it your day off?" Harry asked.
A lot of what's no longer being explicitly stated can be inferred from this. The thrust is that Harry runs into Ginny and is surprised at her being there on a Friday because it's her day off. Whereas the original tells us he's surprised three times, the rewrite doesn't tell us even once but instead shows us. Also, the rewrite doesn't bother telling us it's Friday because the section is headed "Friday, June 25, 2004".
Harry looked at Hermione and immediately knew she was having the same thoughts as him.
The fact that she always has the same thoughts as him in this fic and that their POVs are interchangeable was a bit of a giveaway.
Through out most of the year Ginny had been bosom buddies with Sybil Trelawney. Why now suddenly was she seeking them out?
Because it's possible to have more than one friend? The whole "Ginny and Trelawney are BFFs" thing seems to be made up entirely, or possibly imported from Psychic Serpent, as in canon there's no indication that they have any kind of relationship beyond teacher/student. Or even that she took Divination at all.
Hermione could tell that Ginny seemed rather nervous and stressed out.
How could she tell, and why are we suddenly in her POV?
Harry helped Hermione prepare the tea as the three discussed meaningless school matters.
Now the author decides to skim over the irrelevancies. We could have done with some of that in the previous scene.
Finally, when all three were seated, Ginny looked at Hermione and blurted out, “Who do you think would make a better husband and father, Draco or Severus?”
"Neither!" said canon!Hermione. "Have you gone mad?"
I'm a little perturbed that Ginny, who's neither pregnant nor has expressed any desire to be, is asking about prospective partners on the basis of whether they'd make good fathers. Given the author's established attitude towards women and reproduction, I'm not inclined to interpret this charitably.
Hermione was taken aback as the question caught her completely off guard. Hermione truthfully had not even ever considered either man in such a role in her life.
Well, that's something.
Ginny face bore the look of total frustration.
She's been reading Hogwarts Exposed.
“I’m not back with Draco, but we are on a much friendlier basis again although he does at times aggravate me beyond imagination. As for Severus, I know he’d be willing to play such a role because he asked me to marry him.”
This is the first we've actually been told as readers that they're an item. We first learned that Ginny was seeing someone in Chapter 22 but the scene involved her talking to and snogging an unidentified presence. This worked about as well as you'd expect.
Harry was extremely glad he didn’t have a mouth full of tea when Ginny announced this news; else someone would have been wearing it.
It was enchanted so he'd be forced to spit-take when he tried drinking it. Five Knuts from the Hogwarts Express trolley.
Ginny’s eyes bored into Harry. “You think its ridiculous, don’t you? That I’m dating someone over twice my age?”
“I didn’t say that,” Harry said defensively.
I don't think Harry is the one being defensive here.
“I just inquired as to whether you two had been dating. But now that you mention it; he is easily old enough to be your father.”
"I hadn't thought of that incredibly obvious fact before!"
“Severus thought if anyone would understand it would be the two of you. I guess he was wrong.” Ginny spouted angrily
I couldn't take "spouted" seriously when Deserving used it, and I can't here.
“Ginny, Harry didn’t say whether he approved or not. He just stated facts. What he said is true, but Severus is also an extremely attractive and kind man
No, he isn't. Or (to be far more charitable than this fic deserves) if anyone does think that, Hermione isn't one of them.
Ginny nodded her head. Although she doubted it would help, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to at least have someone she could talk with. “It all started last October when Severus and I both happened to be up in the Astronomy tower at the same time.”
See Chapter 9.
That weekend I was headed to London on the train and Severus had to go to the Ministry to meet with the governors of the school. We sat together and talked again. I couldn’t get over how different Severus the man was as compared to Severus the professor.”
And for some reason Harry and Hermione also know about "Severus" the man as compared to the professor, despite not having anything more than a professional relationship with him, and go on about how wonderful he is at every opportunity. What's wrong with Snape just being a bastard? He was much more interesting that way. I'm not counting the hyperempathic breast-fondling incident because everyone in the fic also seems to have forgotten about it.
“It was late when we reached London, so we decided to have dinner together. We were just two associates dining jointly. At least that’s what we kept telling ourselves.
They kept telling themselves over the course of one dinner?
After that weekend I started to go to the Astronomy Tower in hopes of finding him there and he told me later that he was doing the same thing.”
Ah yes, the Edward Cullen approach to romance.
“By Christmas we were purposely meeting in London every weekend. I loved being with him. He made me feel so special and wanted. Something I hadn’t felt for a long time.” Ginny looked at Hermione and confessed. “Up until then we had never even kissed, not real kisses, just pecks on the cheek. I kissed him first and it was my suggestion that we share a room Valentine’s weekend.
The subtext here is that Ginny is what her mother would call a "scarlet woman" for daring to (gasp) take the initiative in the relationship! Not like pure, saintly Hermione. I hate this fic.
“Yes,” Ginny answered. “Draco had been going to London practically every weekend, Neville, too. Although neither of them ever said anything, I expect they thought something was going on between Severus and me.
I don't think so. It's not like anyone's especially perceptive in Hogwarts Exposed.
A few times they shared a compartment with us on the train, but most times they left us to ourselves.
“At first Severus and I joked about seeing Neville and Draco together on the train every week. We kidded that they were traveling to London to be together.
Actually making this a pairing might have been interesting, so instead we just have it as a throwaway attempt at a joke.
In actuality Draco was involved with a witch that he had met just prior to the start of school. Her husband found them out in March and there was quite a row. Seems they have two children. Draco would never want to breakup a family and so he immediately stopped seeing her.”
Because Draco's a bastard, but not that much of a bastard.
Harry looked at Hermione and shook his head slightly in disgust, not enough that Ginny noticed.
Harry notices that Ginny didn't notice?
“Did you initiate getting back together with Draco or did he?”
“Oh! It was me. I approached him in September, trying to reconcile our differences, but it took him sometime to think it out in his head.” Ginny seemed to be defending Draco.
You reckon?
“The very beginning of April,” Ginny quickly answered. “I just don’t know what to do. Severus has been so wonderful to me, but after all Draco is Draco. How can I ignore a chance to get back with him?”
Harry was about now feeling a powerful urge to strangle Ginny, but resisted.
“Ginny?” Hermione asked. “I want to make sure I have all the facts straight in my head. Am I correct in saying that Draco knows you have been seeing Severus? How about Severus? Does he know that Draco now wants you back?”
“Yes, Severus knows,” Ginny replied.
“And how may I ask does he feel about that?” Harry asked, trying to control his anger.
Why does Harry care so much about Ginny's relationship woes and Snape's feelings that he's having trouble controlling his anger?
Harry didn’t say a word, but wanted to bang his head on the table.
I know how he feels.
Then he realized that it would serve more purpose if he banged Ginny’s head instead of his own.
And even more purpose to bang the fic against the nearest wall.
From there the conversation drifted off to other topics and after a brief time Ginny offered some excuse as to why she had to be leaving and after thanking them for their time she hurried out the door.
It looks like part of his outline has found its way into his final draft.
The door had no more than closed when Harry commented to Hermione, “I hope she chooses Draco.”
Hermione couldn’t believe her ears. “Why Draco?”
“If she can’t figure out on her own that Severus is worth a hundred Dracos, she doesn’t deserve him”
From canon!Hermione's canon!Harry's (thanks, amideadn0w!) perspective, Snape is a better partner than Draco in the same way that being shot is better than being disembowelled.
Concluded...