Phantom Dreams Chapter 3
Chapter 3 is entitled "Evening Plots", misleadingly so because the title is the only evidence that it's taking place in the evening and there's still no sign of a plot.
Selphie was ordering around some students with a clip board in her hands. "Oh hiya Squall!" She smiles and shoo's them all away to their posts.
We're given no clue as to what she's actually doing or why; she just needs to be seen to be doing something so she's not just standing there looking silly till Squall shows up to meet her. I think the writer has taken the whole "based on an RPG" thing a bit too far, because Selphie is behaving just like an NPC.
"Oh come on Squall! It's going to be Easter!!" Selphie giggles.
Apparently they celebrate Easter in the FFVIII-verse. I really shouldn't need to explain what's wrong with this picture.
"Zell!!!" Selphie hollers at the Martial arts gymish room.
The way this sentence is structured suggests that Selphie is hollering at the "Martial arts gymish room" (is that the technical term?) itself, as in the physical space, as though Zell had the inclination to morph himself into architecture.
I am inciting a No Flub Law!
Incite, verb, "to rouse, stir up or excite", as in "this fic's plotless meanderings incite frustration", not to be confused with what I presume she meant institute, verb, "to begin or initiate something". Also, flub, meaning to make a mistake (as in "the author of Phantom Dreams flubbed her grammar again") is not the same as flab, as in excessive body fat, something the main cast of FFVIII hardly need to be worried about in any case. I mean really, these are people who fight T. rex as a training exercise. They're hardly going to be piling on the pounds.
Anyone who's flubby must come and work out! Arm's, Leg's, abdomens.. mmm six packs a must! everyone must be healthy! And there will be an endurance test after the classes whoever fails has to do the class again. Irvy can help out too! He does excersizes!
LOSE WEIGHT TODAY with Selphie and Irvine's Suspicious Doelike Workout now on DVD! (T. rex not included.)
Zell swallowed hard,overcoming it."I am not flubby.Why must I participate?"
When Zell is the most sensible character in your fic, you're in trouble.
"Because' you'll be the instructer stupid!" Selphie grins.
Selphie and Irvine's Suspicious Doelike Workout Volume 2, also featuring Zell.
"duh Quisty, everyone know that in balamb garden you refer to Squall for training and missions."
As any fule kno.
"Here's to hoping seifer decides he doesnt want to go,and putting everyone else out of the misery of listening to her." He said,only half serious,mostly kidding about it,despite their past,sure the man wouldn't kill the girl.
Because Seifer returning to Balamb Garden a year after the war is a complete non-event next to Selphie's master plan to start a keep-fit class. And to be honest I'd be more concerned about Selphie killing Seifer than the other way around.
Selphie goes to meet Squall but:
"I try to be nice, and friendly" sniffle "And a good friend and tlak to you al lthe time. But you always yell at me and tell me o be quiet or go away. Or Leave me alone. why are you always so mean!" she says two tears slipping down her cheek's as she looks into his liquid silver gaze.
... the girl who managed to put a brave face on her home being destroyed by missiles breaks down at being given the brush-off. Who is this wangsty cow and what's she done with Selphie?
Anyway, Selphie can't find Seifer. If he's hiding in the same place as this story's plot, she never will.
Continued...
Selphie was ordering around some students with a clip board in her hands. "Oh hiya Squall!" She smiles and shoo's them all away to their posts.
We're given no clue as to what she's actually doing or why; she just needs to be seen to be doing something so she's not just standing there looking silly till Squall shows up to meet her. I think the writer has taken the whole "based on an RPG" thing a bit too far, because Selphie is behaving just like an NPC.
"Oh come on Squall! It's going to be Easter!!" Selphie giggles.
Apparently they celebrate Easter in the FFVIII-verse. I really shouldn't need to explain what's wrong with this picture.
"Zell!!!" Selphie hollers at the Martial arts gymish room.
The way this sentence is structured suggests that Selphie is hollering at the "Martial arts gymish room" (is that the technical term?) itself, as in the physical space, as though Zell had the inclination to morph himself into architecture.
I am inciting a No Flub Law!
Incite, verb, "to rouse, stir up or excite", as in "this fic's plotless meanderings incite frustration", not to be confused with what I presume she meant institute, verb, "to begin or initiate something". Also, flub, meaning to make a mistake (as in "the author of Phantom Dreams flubbed her grammar again") is not the same as flab, as in excessive body fat, something the main cast of FFVIII hardly need to be worried about in any case. I mean really, these are people who fight T. rex as a training exercise. They're hardly going to be piling on the pounds.
Anyone who's flubby must come and work out! Arm's, Leg's, abdomens.. mmm six packs a must! everyone must be healthy! And there will be an endurance test after the classes whoever fails has to do the class again. Irvy can help out too! He does excersizes!
LOSE WEIGHT TODAY with Selphie and Irvine's Suspicious Doelike Workout now on DVD! (T. rex not included.)
Zell swallowed hard,overcoming it."I am not flubby.Why must I participate?"
When Zell is the most sensible character in your fic, you're in trouble.
"Because' you'll be the instructer stupid!" Selphie grins.
Selphie and Irvine's Suspicious Doelike Workout Volume 2, also featuring Zell.
"duh Quisty, everyone know that in balamb garden you refer to Squall for training and missions."
As any fule kno.
"Here's to hoping seifer decides he doesnt want to go,and putting everyone else out of the misery of listening to her." He said,only half serious,mostly kidding about it,despite their past,sure the man wouldn't kill the girl.
Because Seifer returning to Balamb Garden a year after the war is a complete non-event next to Selphie's master plan to start a keep-fit class. And to be honest I'd be more concerned about Selphie killing Seifer than the other way around.
Selphie goes to meet Squall but:
"I try to be nice, and friendly" sniffle "And a good friend and tlak to you al lthe time. But you always yell at me and tell me o be quiet or go away. Or Leave me alone. why are you always so mean!" she says two tears slipping down her cheek's as she looks into his liquid silver gaze.
... the girl who managed to put a brave face on her home being destroyed by missiles breaks down at being given the brush-off. Who is this wangsty cow and what's she done with Selphie?
Anyway, Selphie can't find Seifer. If he's hiding in the same place as this story's plot, she never will.
Continued...