Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 24 part 2
This update features the worst portrayal of Snape so far in Hogwarts Exposed. If you've got your Snape In Leather Pants bingo cards handy, feel free to play along.
“I can’t believe I actually did that,” Hermione said as they neared the staircase leading to the staff quarters. “I felt so wickedly bad. Thank heaven no one saw us.”
“Hermione, even if someone had come been in the area, they wouldn’t have seen anything different then they could see any morning,” Jamie replied. “We told you a thousand times that you look no different. The charm is marvelous. Here we are; all four of us nude and yet no one can tell.”
Why is she lecturing Hermione about the charm she taught her, and why are we getting this exposition again?
“Well, my breasts can certainly tell,” Hermione, laughed. “I had no idea they would go through such gyrations if I ran without a bra.
If they're going through gyrations then of course they'll be sore. It's like a self-inflicted titty twister.
They’ll be sore for a week. How do you do this every day, Jamie? Your build is very similar to mine.”
I think Jamie and Hermione are supposed to look quite similar, but I'm not sure we've been told enough times yet.
“You have to remember that I’ve been running every since I was twelve. Long before I had these to carry around.” Jamie put her hands under her breasts as if pretending to carry them. “They do go through some wild contortions, but mine never get sore. You’ll get used to it if you run like this everyday.”
I can tell that the author has neither breasts nor a basic grasp of physics and all his "research" comes from the manifesto of an obscure Canadian political party.
The concentrated expression on Hermione’s face as they climbed the long staircase made Jamie wonder if perhaps Hermione was actually considering doing just that. “Jamie, I’m not prudish, but…” she hesitated, “I can’t believe I’m discussing this with you.”
Jamie gave Hermione’s hand a brief squeeze. “Remember, the type of sisters that discuss everything.”
“Right!” Hermione smiled. “It’s just that don’t you think that running like this might cause sagging to take place sooner rather than later?”
And that would be a disaster, because remaining attractive for her man is all that matters in the life of any woman. Especially Hermione. I hate this fic.
“No!” Jamie answered quickly as if ready to jump to the defense of her beliefs. “Mum had the same concerns and we did a lot of research.
Unlike the author.
Going with or without a bra has little affect on sagging. Age and babies are the primary cause of breasts drooping, although you’d never would have believed it if you looked at my Mum. She breast fed both Emily and I until we were two years old and her body was almost as firm and beautiful as yours.”
Well, they had to inherit their Sueness from somewhere.
Hermione blushed slightly. This was the first time that Jamie had ever given any indication that she had ever checked out her body.
I'm not sure it is, but verifying this claim would require re-reading the earlier chapters so fuck that.
“There are some muggle doctors that even feel bras can actually contribute to breast cancer, depending on the material they are made of and how tight you wear them.”
And how does a fifth-year Hogwarts student with thirteen Q.W.L.s to study for manage to keep up with the medical literature of the "muggle" world?
Hermione was just about to make a comment when they reached the top of the stairs and practically walked into the arms of the Headmaster.
Who apparently knew they'd be here an hour before they normally go for their morning run.
Hermione blushed. She realized that to Severus all four of them appeared dressed in their running outfits, but she also knew that in actuality they were naked except for their socks and sneakers.
In her own case, she could actually see she was bare. It became a mental battle between what she knew Severus saw and what she actually was. Hermione did not want to talk to Severus nude.
Continuity alert: not only has she done that before, but he's fondled her breasts.
“Severus, I don’t feel properly dressed.
LOLZ IRONY
There was no use fighting it. She was about to go to Severus’ room to sit and talk with him and although he wasn’t aware of it, Hermione was. She was starkers.
Was she? I'd completely forgotten.
After they entered his quarter’s
His quarter's what?
Severus motioned for her to take a seat, which she immediately did. Hermione crossed her legs and sat with her arms across her chest. This was just too weird. Even though he couldn’t see her, Hermione knew she was sitting there naked and to say the least it bothered her.
She's naked and it bothers her, unlike before when she was naked and it bothered her. That's why we need to be told this.
“Hermione, later today you will be surrounded by people. I just wanted a few words alone with you in private before your wedding. I’m sure it didn’t seem like it those first few years as a Hogwarts student, but I’ve always had special feelings for you and Harry.
Of course you did. *tick*
At times, I’m sure I seemed mean and even cruel, but I wanted to see the two of you reach your full potential. Especially you.
*tick*
“I say especially you because you had a lot harder journey ahead of you than Harry. I’m not referring to Voldemort, but rather to you both achieving your goals in life. Harry in a sense had everything going for him. After all he was the ‘boy who lived’. Harry could have, in all probability, failed every subject and still be successful just by living on his fame. That is why I made it so clear to him that first day in potions class that being a celebrity was not everything. That in life you have to work in order to achieve success.
*tick* And apparently Snape has a prepared statement, judging by how little this looks like natural dialogue. That I can actually believe, in that if Snape were inclined to dispense glurgey advice to Hermione (which he isn't) then he probably would approach it like planning a lesson.
“I have never seen an individual that worked as hard as you have to achieve your much deserved success. You were a successful student. You are a successful professor. And I know you will be a successful wife and mother. You and Harry are probably the perfect couple. You compliment each other. Qualities that one lacks; the other brings into the relationship. I’m very proud of you. I couldn’t be prouder if you were my own daughter. I pray that you and Harry have a long and happy life together.”
*bleurgh*
Hermione eyes had watered as Severus talked of his feeling for her as a student, but as he finished tears were flowing freely from her eyes.
"Sorry, there's a leaky bottle of dragon piss in the ingredients cupboard."
Without thinking,
Words which should never be applied to Hermione.
she jumped from her chair and ran to Severus, who had also risen. She threw her arms around the Headmaster and hugged him tightly as he put his arms around her and returned the hug.
Only after holding Severus for a brief time and giving him a kiss on the cheek did Hermione come to the realization of what she had done.
What an idiot. Again, words which should never be applied to Hermione.
As long as they touched he could see her naked. Fortunately he was looking directly into her face. She had to fully break the embrace before he looked down. No contact could be maintained if she wanted to avoid being seen naked.
This would be a lot more dramatic if Snape hadn't actually seen her naked already. It would still be a ridiculously trivial excuse for a conflict, but not quite as much as it is now.
“Severus, you’re such a wonderful man.
This line brought to you by Mock the Week's Scenes We'd Like To See.
It’s not fair that you’re alone. Twice you’ve had love taken away from you.”
"Once by the guy whose son I'm marrying later today! Yay!"
Hermione’s mind went crazy. She had to hug him. She had to show compassion for this great man who she had come to idolize.
And there was only one way for her to do so. Apparently.
They stood looking at each other for a time. Severus seemed perplexed. Finally, he said. “You tell Potter that I said he was the luckiest man alive. That if he doesn’t take care of you and treat you properly, he’ll have me to deal with.” Severus stood looking a Hermione as if she were a vision. “You definitely are as beautiful inside as you are outside. And my god, I can’t get over how beautiful you are outside.”
Come back, Deserving, all is forgiven.
Continued...
“I can’t believe I actually did that,” Hermione said as they neared the staircase leading to the staff quarters. “I felt so wickedly bad. Thank heaven no one saw us.”
“Hermione, even if someone had come been in the area, they wouldn’t have seen anything different then they could see any morning,” Jamie replied. “We told you a thousand times that you look no different. The charm is marvelous. Here we are; all four of us nude and yet no one can tell.”
Why is she lecturing Hermione about the charm she taught her, and why are we getting this exposition again?
“Well, my breasts can certainly tell,” Hermione, laughed. “I had no idea they would go through such gyrations if I ran without a bra.
If they're going through gyrations then of course they'll be sore. It's like a self-inflicted titty twister.
They’ll be sore for a week. How do you do this every day, Jamie? Your build is very similar to mine.”
I think Jamie and Hermione are supposed to look quite similar, but I'm not sure we've been told enough times yet.
“You have to remember that I’ve been running every since I was twelve. Long before I had these to carry around.” Jamie put her hands under her breasts as if pretending to carry them. “They do go through some wild contortions, but mine never get sore. You’ll get used to it if you run like this everyday.”
I can tell that the author has neither breasts nor a basic grasp of physics and all his "research" comes from the manifesto of an obscure Canadian political party.
The concentrated expression on Hermione’s face as they climbed the long staircase made Jamie wonder if perhaps Hermione was actually considering doing just that. “Jamie, I’m not prudish, but…” she hesitated, “I can’t believe I’m discussing this with you.”
Jamie gave Hermione’s hand a brief squeeze. “Remember, the type of sisters that discuss everything.”
“Right!” Hermione smiled. “It’s just that don’t you think that running like this might cause sagging to take place sooner rather than later?”
And that would be a disaster, because remaining attractive for her man is all that matters in the life of any woman. Especially Hermione. I hate this fic.
“No!” Jamie answered quickly as if ready to jump to the defense of her beliefs. “Mum had the same concerns and we did a lot of research.
Unlike the author.
Going with or without a bra has little affect on sagging. Age and babies are the primary cause of breasts drooping, although you’d never would have believed it if you looked at my Mum. She breast fed both Emily and I until we were two years old and her body was almost as firm and beautiful as yours.”
Well, they had to inherit their Sueness from somewhere.
Hermione blushed slightly. This was the first time that Jamie had ever given any indication that she had ever checked out her body.
I'm not sure it is, but verifying this claim would require re-reading the earlier chapters so fuck that.
“There are some muggle doctors that even feel bras can actually contribute to breast cancer, depending on the material they are made of and how tight you wear them.”
And how does a fifth-year Hogwarts student with thirteen Q.W.L.s to study for manage to keep up with the medical literature of the "muggle" world?
Hermione was just about to make a comment when they reached the top of the stairs and practically walked into the arms of the Headmaster.
Who apparently knew they'd be here an hour before they normally go for their morning run.
Hermione blushed. She realized that to Severus all four of them appeared dressed in their running outfits, but she also knew that in actuality they were naked except for their socks and sneakers.
Click to viewIn her own case, she could actually see she was bare. It became a mental battle between what she knew Severus saw and what she actually was. Hermione did not want to talk to Severus nude.
Continuity alert: not only has she done that before, but he's fondled her breasts.
“Severus, I don’t feel properly dressed.
LOLZ IRONY
There was no use fighting it. She was about to go to Severus’ room to sit and talk with him and although he wasn’t aware of it, Hermione was. She was starkers.
Was she? I'd completely forgotten.
After they entered his quarter’s
His quarter's what?
Severus motioned for her to take a seat, which she immediately did. Hermione crossed her legs and sat with her arms across her chest. This was just too weird. Even though he couldn’t see her, Hermione knew she was sitting there naked and to say the least it bothered her.
She's naked and it bothers her, unlike before when she was naked and it bothered her. That's why we need to be told this.
“Hermione, later today you will be surrounded by people. I just wanted a few words alone with you in private before your wedding. I’m sure it didn’t seem like it those first few years as a Hogwarts student, but I’ve always had special feelings for you and Harry.
Of course you did. *tick*
At times, I’m sure I seemed mean and even cruel, but I wanted to see the two of you reach your full potential. Especially you.
*tick*
“I say especially you because you had a lot harder journey ahead of you than Harry. I’m not referring to Voldemort, but rather to you both achieving your goals in life. Harry in a sense had everything going for him. After all he was the ‘boy who lived’. Harry could have, in all probability, failed every subject and still be successful just by living on his fame. That is why I made it so clear to him that first day in potions class that being a celebrity was not everything. That in life you have to work in order to achieve success.
*tick* And apparently Snape has a prepared statement, judging by how little this looks like natural dialogue. That I can actually believe, in that if Snape were inclined to dispense glurgey advice to Hermione (which he isn't) then he probably would approach it like planning a lesson.
“I have never seen an individual that worked as hard as you have to achieve your much deserved success. You were a successful student. You are a successful professor. And I know you will be a successful wife and mother. You and Harry are probably the perfect couple. You compliment each other. Qualities that one lacks; the other brings into the relationship. I’m very proud of you. I couldn’t be prouder if you were my own daughter. I pray that you and Harry have a long and happy life together.”
*bleurgh*
Hermione eyes had watered as Severus talked of his feeling for her as a student, but as he finished tears were flowing freely from her eyes.
"Sorry, there's a leaky bottle of dragon piss in the ingredients cupboard."
Without thinking,
Words which should never be applied to Hermione.
she jumped from her chair and ran to Severus, who had also risen. She threw her arms around the Headmaster and hugged him tightly as he put his arms around her and returned the hug.
Only after holding Severus for a brief time and giving him a kiss on the cheek did Hermione come to the realization of what she had done.
What an idiot. Again, words which should never be applied to Hermione.
As long as they touched he could see her naked. Fortunately he was looking directly into her face. She had to fully break the embrace before he looked down. No contact could be maintained if she wanted to avoid being seen naked.
This would be a lot more dramatic if Snape hadn't actually seen her naked already. It would still be a ridiculously trivial excuse for a conflict, but not quite as much as it is now.
“Severus, you’re such a wonderful man.
This line brought to you by Mock the Week's Scenes We'd Like To See.
It’s not fair that you’re alone. Twice you’ve had love taken away from you.”
"Once by the guy whose son I'm marrying later today! Yay!"
Hermione’s mind went crazy. She had to hug him. She had to show compassion for this great man who she had come to idolize.
And there was only one way for her to do so. Apparently.
They stood looking at each other for a time. Severus seemed perplexed. Finally, he said. “You tell Potter that I said he was the luckiest man alive. That if he doesn’t take care of you and treat you properly, he’ll have me to deal with.” Severus stood looking a Hermione as if she were a vision. “You definitely are as beautiful inside as you are outside. And my god, I can’t get over how beautiful you are outside.”
Come back, Deserving, all is forgiven.
Continued...