Deserving Retrospective and Chapter 40
As this is the fortieth chapter (yay?) let's take a look at the highlights (lowlights?) so far.
Chapter 1: Harry estranges himself from his friends and adopted family to knock up Severus. The fact that Deserving is Snarry mpreg is actually the least bizarre aspect of the fic, which should tell you something.
Chapter 2: Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrre!
Chapter 3: Severus gets spanked with a ruler in a way that's not going to remind anyone of the Nostalgia Critic's Captain Planet video. Kingsley jumps on the OOC train, changing without explanation from the calm, rational Kingsley of canon to a foghorning ranter.
Chapter 4: As does Madam Pomfrey, but she gets worse.
Chapter 5: Dennis is camp. And apparently in Gryffindor, which we already knew but it must be important because the author keeps reminding us.
Chapter 6: In which the treatment of ex-Death Eaters is likened to the Holocaust.
Chapter 7: Harry Imperiuses Severus to wank into a bottle. By Potterverse morality this is the worst thing he's done all fic, but it's never mentioned again.
Chapter 8: Nicky is born offscreen and his father does an impression of his other father. That's not going to get confusing at all.
Chapter 9: Richard is born, and seems to steal Harry's brain whilst he's at it. I guess he'll need it, being the Gary Stu he is.
Chapter 10: More buggery.
Chapter 11: Hermione is OOC and Harry goes off on one about the whoring money.
Chapter 12: Harry and Severus get married off-screen and get lube, erotic fanart and a box of gold for presents.
Chapter 13: The beta hijacks the story and there's more buggery and talk of "butt-cheeks".
Chapter 14: Harry goes shopping on Amazon.
Chapter 15: The buggery of doom! But Kreacher has the magic water (fnarr) handy, so it's all good.
Chapter 16: Baby the baby is rescued from Mundungus the child trafficker.
Chapter 17: "Dull storytelling time"? Couldn't have put it better myself.
Chapter 18: Millicent turns up and it seems she's BTB's mum. And he's called "Sin", and calling him that was apparently one because the author says so.
Chapter 19: Nicky's birthday party, which gets gatecrashed by random stooges who cast the bondage spell from My Immortal.
Chapter 20: "LUBE! Always lube. Don’t make me repeat it," came the menacing voice. With some stirring, epic music playing in the background, no doubt.
Chapter 21: All together now: I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Chapter 22: The stooges come back with no effect.
Chapter 23: Magic string for wizards who want to dress as witches (in robes rather than robes?) and also Severus.
Chapter 24: Ministrations happen.
Chapter 25: A bunch of kids are anticlimactically delivered to Hogwarts, and Ron stops being a douche.
Chapter 26: Harry fills Severus with his essence. Apparently.
Chapter 27: The Paedofinder General comes and goes with no further effect on the plot. This subplot probably crawled into the corner and died of embarrassment alongside Chapter 7.
Chapter 28: BTB gets a name, and there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 29: Bugger all happens. Not literally.
Chapter 30: Vincent Crabbe shags an elf. Harry and Severus have a row, which Richard tries to avert by sparkling at them like a good little Stu.
Chapter 31: Severus drinks the I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK potion. Ron arrests Harry.
Chapter 32: Crabbe didn't shag the elf, which is good for sanity but bad for lulz. A hideously OOC Minerva leads an anti-Harry conspiracy. Ron is back semi-IC.
Chapter 33: Harry and Severus are bound by the red string of fate. Which smells like whatever it is the unspecified amazing smell is actually supposed to be.
Chapter 34: "Harry has a dark and presumably damaging medical secret. This plot seems to be taking a cue from the second season of The West Wing, except that was actually good. Given this author's relationship with drama, Harry's ailment isn't going to be anything significant. I see it being embarrassing but completely inconsequential to the bigger picture, like taking Viagra or something." Spoiler: it's exactly that.
Chapter 35: Harry confronts Single, and it's hard to see how he's still a threat.
Chapter 36: See Chapter 34.
Chapter 37: Ministrations happen.
Chapter 38: Harry doesn't screw Dennis, and reclaims Severus.
Chapter 39: Harry and Severus get one over on OOC!Minerva and her coven, and celebrate in the only way Deserving characters know how. With added goatse.
And the kicker...
*borrows Harry's megaphone*
CHAPTER FORTY IS THE WORST SO FAR.
No, really.
They lay together in each other’s arms. Harry was stroking Severus’ shoulder absentmindedly
.
The full stop is making a bid for freedom because it's too embarrassed to be part of this fic.
Next morning while Severus was taking a shower Kreacher popped in with a parcel. Harry was grateful for the fast service in the Wizarding World.
I thought they used Amazon in The Wizarding World™.
Severus complied immediately. Was he going to have a repeat of last night? He didn’t think his heart could take so much pleasure.
“Close your eyes and relax,” came the second order.
Severus did as he was told and heard Harry fumbling in the bedstand’s drawer. Soon a lubed finger was at his entrance.
"Tell it I'm in the bathroom!"
He felt the finger begin to penetrate very slowly. He wanted to tell his husband that there was no need for so much caution but he remembered the slapped bottom he earned last night for trying to tell Harry what to do.
I thought that was just part of the action. Whatever.
The object was inserted without much ceremony and soon he felt a playful slap on his butt cheek.
Like so. ("Butt-cheek" again *snarl*)
“Alright, then, get up. You can get dressed now,” announced Harry wiping his fingers with a towel.
I hope their guests bring their own towels. D:
Severus looked at him curiously. Harry smiled a wicked smile in response.
“It’s the butt plug from the catalogue, remember?”
Oh gods. I remember.
Severus did remember and he also recalled that the plug was activated by a trigger word.
“What is the trigger word?” he dared to ask.
About the only ray of light in this chapter is that the author has realised that "dared" by itself doesn't work as a dialogue tag.
By mid day Severus could barely walk. The plug was at an impossible width.
The trigger word was "ministrations".
Severus let his pants fall and got into position with some difficulty, stunning Harry with the view of an over stretched anus. Wow! Can it really stretch that much?
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I'm too sober for this. D8
Harry could practically envision his hand going all the way in with little resistance. But that was not his goal.
Thank heavens for small mercies.
“I need the plug resized, husband,” he said without opening his eyes.
This was clearly not easy for Severus, but Harry knew it was necessary. He took Snape in his arms and apparated to their bedroom. Severus got into position without being told what to do. It was true that the plug was not as wide as this morning but it was still stretching his husband to unimaginable widths.
85m0t76w4rdgxjc5gv cipa4gcexsehtcynefndh4g5xlfhc w3xfmw4y5gxn4tfnmmml,fo8uao,jfuehnmcosygs
Severus considered these words and he knew he had to answer truthfully. “I have already taken these orders and I have never been late on my word. And I wish to continue to brew so I can help Mr. Longbottom with my little snakes,” he said, bracing himself for Harry’s reaction at the mention of Neville’s name, but the wave never came.
“Your little snakes?”
Yes, his little snakes. I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE SNAKE!
It took Severus a second to realize that Harry was not yelling.
For once. Good job yours truly nicked his megaphone.
“Well, then I guess you have a problem because you are to wear the plug until further notice,” said Harry as he apparated out of the room.
Why is Harry speaking in officialese?
Next morning Harry left and Severus called Kreacher. He noticed that the plug expanded. He made a mental note not to mention Kreacher’s name again.
“I need for you to take care of Richard…” the plug expanded again; second mental note.
Hey, no fair having two trigger words.
Kreacher looked as if Christmas had come early.
Which it might very well have done with the Deserving timeline being what it is.
“Kreacher! Move!”
Kreacher shook his head. “No, no, no. Master Severus does not wish to be disturbed. Kreacher is promising Master Severus will not be interrupted.”
Harry had no patience for the overzealous creature, so he apparated to the lab, startling Severus.
Surprised he didn't Apparate to begin with.
“How long have you been down here?”
Severus could tell by Harry’s tone that he was not happy. “Since this morning as soon as you left.”
Harry turned on his heels and left, leaving Severus with a feeling of utter failure.
Kind of like this fic.
They sat at a very silent table having dinner. Richard would look from one father to another with puzzlement. Usually there was so much to say.
“I have a tummy ache,” he announced making both fathers stand and reach his side in an instant.
“What wrong? Do you have a fever?” asked Harry while Severus touched their child’s forehead.
“I don’t like it when your cross,” said Richard looking into his Dada’s green eyes.
Harry could not believe that he had caused his son’s illness.
Neither can I. Last time he burst in and sparkled at them until they stopped.
Severus did not dare to look into Harry’s eyes and kept his dark eyes glued to his son’s dark and warm eyes.
“Yes, Richard, I love you and your Dada more than life itself.”
Harry heard those words. They had to be something that Snape said to appease their son. He could not mean it; could he? Dennis said that contrary to Harry Snape knew he had feelings for his husband but that was just Dennis being the over romantic bloke that he is; right?
No, because he smells of soulmate. Whatever this actually means, because all we're told is that Eau de Twu Wub is intoxicating.
“Papa, I am not a baby,” he said still laughing.
I'll remember this for next time he lapses into baby-talk.
Severus had so much to say but understood that Harry would not allow any arguments, so he simply nodded. He walked to the table and sure enough there awaited the glass of water and a pile of blue pills spilling from a muggle medicine bottle.
I honestly don't get it. The author has this unerring knack of capitalising terms like "wizarding world" that don't need it, but leaving others like "Muggle", "Floo", "Apparate" and spell incantations uncapitalised. I'm convinced she's getting bad information from somewhere.
Severus watched Harry pollute his body with the muggle medicine then he walked up to their bedroom dreading it for the first time in what seemed ages. When he opened the door he saw his worst nightmare lying on the bed, the dreaded green institutional robe.
Cue ominous Latin chanting.
Harry was there at his entrance. Severus closed his eyes tight but was surprise to feel Harry’s manhood penetrate with ease. How could that be? No lube was used. He would have felt a lubricating charm if it had been performed. And all of a sudden it dawned on him. The plug; the plug had stretched him.
This brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
He had to tell Harry. He could feel Harry pumping; pumping hard not knowing that his action was not having the desired effect. Soon he felt his husband’s seed spill deep within him and Harry step back.
I'm not convinced that this works, but I don't want to contemplate the mechanics any more than I have to.
Severus approached his husband and handed him the potion. “Please, Sir, drink. It will free your body of the harmful ingredients in the muggle medicine,” Severus pleaded his case.
“Muggle medicine can’t be all that bad for a wizard,” argued Harry just to calm his spouse.
“I beg to differ. You will recall that when you arrived at Hogwarts Madame Pomfrey gave you and all the muggle born this same potion.
Actually, no I don't.
But Severus was not paying attention. His mind had wondered.
So does mine.
“Muggle medicine, that might be it,” Severus thought out loud.
“Snape, what are you on about?”
“The children that do not have magic. There might be a connection.”
“Snape, there are plenty of muggle born that have had medicine before coming to the Wizarding World.”
“Yes, You are right, Sir, but the Marked Ones were given a potion to strip them of their magic and if that potion is combined with something alien as muggle medicine; who knows the consequences?”
How very Lamarckian.
“Didn’t Arthur say, when he was bitten by the snake, that St. Mongos was experimenting with muggle medicine?” asked Severus still thinking out loud.
“Well that would explain why Richard and Nicky have magic. You and Draco were not seen at St. Mongos during your pregnancy.”
Is that like St Mango's?
It just keeps coming.
Chapter 1: Harry estranges himself from his friends and adopted family to knock up Severus. The fact that Deserving is Snarry mpreg is actually the least bizarre aspect of the fic, which should tell you something.
Chapter 2: Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrre!
Chapter 3: Severus gets spanked with a ruler in a way that's not going to remind anyone of the Nostalgia Critic's Captain Planet video. Kingsley jumps on the OOC train, changing without explanation from the calm, rational Kingsley of canon to a foghorning ranter.
Chapter 4: As does Madam Pomfrey, but she gets worse.
Chapter 5: Dennis is camp. And apparently in Gryffindor, which we already knew but it must be important because the author keeps reminding us.
Chapter 6: In which the treatment of ex-Death Eaters is likened to the Holocaust.
Chapter 7: Harry Imperiuses Severus to wank into a bottle. By Potterverse morality this is the worst thing he's done all fic, but it's never mentioned again.
Chapter 8: Nicky is born offscreen and his father does an impression of his other father. That's not going to get confusing at all.
Chapter 9: Richard is born, and seems to steal Harry's brain whilst he's at it. I guess he'll need it, being the Gary Stu he is.
Chapter 10: More buggery.
Chapter 11: Hermione is OOC and Harry goes off on one about the whoring money.
Chapter 12: Harry and Severus get married off-screen and get lube, erotic fanart and a box of gold for presents.
Chapter 13: The beta hijacks the story and there's more buggery and talk of "butt-cheeks".
Chapter 14: Harry goes shopping on Amazon.
Chapter 15: The buggery of doom! But Kreacher has the magic water (fnarr) handy, so it's all good.
Chapter 16: Baby the baby is rescued from Mundungus the child trafficker.
Chapter 17: "Dull storytelling time"? Couldn't have put it better myself.
Chapter 18: Millicent turns up and it seems she's BTB's mum. And he's called "Sin", and calling him that was apparently one because the author says so.
Chapter 19: Nicky's birthday party, which gets gatecrashed by random stooges who cast the bondage spell from My Immortal.
Chapter 20: "LUBE! Always lube. Don’t make me repeat it," came the menacing voice. With some stirring, epic music playing in the background, no doubt.
Chapter 21: All together now: I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Chapter 22: The stooges come back with no effect.
Chapter 23: Magic string for wizards who want to dress as witches (in robes rather than robes?) and also Severus.
Chapter 24: Ministrations happen.
Chapter 25: A bunch of kids are anticlimactically delivered to Hogwarts, and Ron stops being a douche.
Chapter 26: Harry fills Severus with his essence. Apparently.
Chapter 27: The Paedofinder General comes and goes with no further effect on the plot. This subplot probably crawled into the corner and died of embarrassment alongside Chapter 7.
Chapter 28: BTB gets a name, and there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 29: Bugger all happens. Not literally.
Chapter 30: Vincent Crabbe shags an elf. Harry and Severus have a row, which Richard tries to avert by sparkling at them like a good little Stu.
Chapter 31: Severus drinks the I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK potion. Ron arrests Harry.
Chapter 32: Crabbe didn't shag the elf, which is good for sanity but bad for lulz. A hideously OOC Minerva leads an anti-Harry conspiracy. Ron is back semi-IC.
Chapter 33: Harry and Severus are bound by the red string of fate. Which smells like whatever it is the unspecified amazing smell is actually supposed to be.
Chapter 34: "Harry has a dark and presumably damaging medical secret. This plot seems to be taking a cue from the second season of The West Wing, except that was actually good. Given this author's relationship with drama, Harry's ailment isn't going to be anything significant. I see it being embarrassing but completely inconsequential to the bigger picture, like taking Viagra or something." Spoiler: it's exactly that.
Chapter 35: Harry confronts Single, and it's hard to see how he's still a threat.
Chapter 36: See Chapter 34.
Chapter 37: Ministrations happen.
Chapter 38: Harry doesn't screw Dennis, and reclaims Severus.
Chapter 39: Harry and Severus get one over on OOC!Minerva and her coven, and celebrate in the only way Deserving characters know how. With added goatse.
And the kicker...
*borrows Harry's megaphone*
CHAPTER FORTY IS THE WORST SO FAR.
No, really.
They lay together in each other’s arms. Harry was stroking Severus’ shoulder absentmindedly
.
The full stop is making a bid for freedom because it's too embarrassed to be part of this fic.
Next morning while Severus was taking a shower Kreacher popped in with a parcel. Harry was grateful for the fast service in the Wizarding World.
I thought they used Amazon in The Wizarding World™.
Severus complied immediately. Was he going to have a repeat of last night? He didn’t think his heart could take so much pleasure.
“Close your eyes and relax,” came the second order.
Severus did as he was told and heard Harry fumbling in the bedstand’s drawer. Soon a lubed finger was at his entrance.
"Tell it I'm in the bathroom!"
He felt the finger begin to penetrate very slowly. He wanted to tell his husband that there was no need for so much caution but he remembered the slapped bottom he earned last night for trying to tell Harry what to do.
I thought that was just part of the action. Whatever.
The object was inserted without much ceremony and soon he felt a playful slap on his butt cheek.
Like so. ("Butt-cheek" again *snarl*)
“Alright, then, get up. You can get dressed now,” announced Harry wiping his fingers with a towel.
I hope their guests bring their own towels. D:
Severus looked at him curiously. Harry smiled a wicked smile in response.
“It’s the butt plug from the catalogue, remember?”
Oh gods. I remember.
Severus did remember and he also recalled that the plug was activated by a trigger word.
“What is the trigger word?” he dared to ask.
About the only ray of light in this chapter is that the author has realised that "dared" by itself doesn't work as a dialogue tag.
By mid day Severus could barely walk. The plug was at an impossible width.
The trigger word was "ministrations".
Severus let his pants fall and got into position with some difficulty, stunning Harry with the view of an over stretched anus. Wow! Can it really stretch that much?
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I'm too sober for this. D8
Harry could practically envision his hand going all the way in with little resistance. But that was not his goal.
Thank heavens for small mercies.
“I need the plug resized, husband,” he said without opening his eyes.
This was clearly not easy for Severus, but Harry knew it was necessary. He took Snape in his arms and apparated to their bedroom. Severus got into position without being told what to do. It was true that the plug was not as wide as this morning but it was still stretching his husband to unimaginable widths.
85m0t76w4rdgxjc5gv cipa4gcexsehtcynefndh4g5xlfhc w3xfmw4y5gxn4tfnmmml,fo8uao,jfuehnmcosygs
Severus considered these words and he knew he had to answer truthfully. “I have already taken these orders and I have never been late on my word. And I wish to continue to brew so I can help Mr. Longbottom with my little snakes,” he said, bracing himself for Harry’s reaction at the mention of Neville’s name, but the wave never came.
“Your little snakes?”
Yes, his little snakes. I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE SNAKE!
It took Severus a second to realize that Harry was not yelling.
For once. Good job yours truly nicked his megaphone.
“Well, then I guess you have a problem because you are to wear the plug until further notice,” said Harry as he apparated out of the room.
Why is Harry speaking in officialese?
Next morning Harry left and Severus called Kreacher. He noticed that the plug expanded. He made a mental note not to mention Kreacher’s name again.
“I need for you to take care of Richard…” the plug expanded again; second mental note.
Hey, no fair having two trigger words.
Kreacher looked as if Christmas had come early.
Which it might very well have done with the Deserving timeline being what it is.
“Kreacher! Move!”
Kreacher shook his head. “No, no, no. Master Severus does not wish to be disturbed. Kreacher is promising Master Severus will not be interrupted.”
Harry had no patience for the overzealous creature, so he apparated to the lab, startling Severus.
Surprised he didn't Apparate to begin with.
“How long have you been down here?”
Severus could tell by Harry’s tone that he was not happy. “Since this morning as soon as you left.”
Harry turned on his heels and left, leaving Severus with a feeling of utter failure.
Kind of like this fic.
They sat at a very silent table having dinner. Richard would look from one father to another with puzzlement. Usually there was so much to say.
“I have a tummy ache,” he announced making both fathers stand and reach his side in an instant.
“What wrong? Do you have a fever?” asked Harry while Severus touched their child’s forehead.
“I don’t like it when your cross,” said Richard looking into his Dada’s green eyes.
Harry could not believe that he had caused his son’s illness.
Neither can I. Last time he burst in and sparkled at them until they stopped.
Severus did not dare to look into Harry’s eyes and kept his dark eyes glued to his son’s dark and warm eyes.
“Yes, Richard, I love you and your Dada more than life itself.”
Harry heard those words. They had to be something that Snape said to appease their son. He could not mean it; could he? Dennis said that contrary to Harry Snape knew he had feelings for his husband but that was just Dennis being the over romantic bloke that he is; right?
No, because he smells of soulmate. Whatever this actually means, because all we're told is that Eau de Twu Wub is intoxicating.
“Papa, I am not a baby,” he said still laughing.
I'll remember this for next time he lapses into baby-talk.
Severus had so much to say but understood that Harry would not allow any arguments, so he simply nodded. He walked to the table and sure enough there awaited the glass of water and a pile of blue pills spilling from a muggle medicine bottle.
I honestly don't get it. The author has this unerring knack of capitalising terms like "wizarding world" that don't need it, but leaving others like "Muggle", "Floo", "Apparate" and spell incantations uncapitalised. I'm convinced she's getting bad information from somewhere.
Severus watched Harry pollute his body with the muggle medicine then he walked up to their bedroom dreading it for the first time in what seemed ages. When he opened the door he saw his worst nightmare lying on the bed, the dreaded green institutional robe.
Cue ominous Latin chanting.
Harry was there at his entrance. Severus closed his eyes tight but was surprise to feel Harry’s manhood penetrate with ease. How could that be? No lube was used. He would have felt a lubricating charm if it had been performed. And all of a sudden it dawned on him. The plug; the plug had stretched him.
This brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
He had to tell Harry. He could feel Harry pumping; pumping hard not knowing that his action was not having the desired effect. Soon he felt his husband’s seed spill deep within him and Harry step back.
I'm not convinced that this works, but I don't want to contemplate the mechanics any more than I have to.
Severus approached his husband and handed him the potion. “Please, Sir, drink. It will free your body of the harmful ingredients in the muggle medicine,” Severus pleaded his case.
“Muggle medicine can’t be all that bad for a wizard,” argued Harry just to calm his spouse.
“I beg to differ. You will recall that when you arrived at Hogwarts Madame Pomfrey gave you and all the muggle born this same potion.
Actually, no I don't.
But Severus was not paying attention. His mind had wondered.
So does mine.
“Muggle medicine, that might be it,” Severus thought out loud.
“Snape, what are you on about?”
“The children that do not have magic. There might be a connection.”
“Snape, there are plenty of muggle born that have had medicine before coming to the Wizarding World.”
“Yes, You are right, Sir, but the Marked Ones were given a potion to strip them of their magic and if that potion is combined with something alien as muggle medicine; who knows the consequences?”
How very Lamarckian.
“Didn’t Arthur say, when he was bitten by the snake, that St. Mongos was experimenting with muggle medicine?” asked Severus still thinking out loud.
“Well that would explain why Richard and Nicky have magic. You and Draco were not seen at St. Mongos during your pregnancy.”
Is that like St Mango's?
It just keeps coming.