Realizations
I haven't posted in a long time. Actually, I haven't really posted that often over past months.
he past two months or so have been a whirlwind. In mid-November Daniel and I visited Amherst. I think I may have told you about that. I spent the week of Thanksgiving at my parents' in Snowflake, Arizona. My sister got married then, and it was nice to see family. Her husband seems like a pretty decent fellow and they're happy together. Of course December was very busy at Whole Foods, allowing me to earn more money than usual. Even better was the series of realizations I've come to over that course of time. I'm practicing Nichiren Buddhism still, and my practice is constantly strengthening. That has been a great contribution to the introspection I've been experiencing. I can only share a few of the most major epiphanies here I think.
I need to stop reinventing the wheel. People have been telling me this for awhile, especially in regards to the farm village concept, but it didn't really sink in until just recently. It applies to a whole series of things from my dreads to the village. Actually, it's my dreads which got me to realize it. They weren't turning out the way I wanted. I think that's because I only had the guidance of what was essentially book learning, and that's often not sufficient to attain the results I want. So as part of this, I'm taking them out. They're most of the way out now. Daniel has been doing most of it, and he has been both gentle and patient.
My second major realization is that I have not been having the degree of success I want developing the village community (and my Buddhist practice) because I have not been putting in real, sincere, dedication and effort. This may seem extremely simple, but it was very hard for me to admit to myself. If I want to find the kind of people who are interested and capable of participating in this kind of village, I really must be that person myself. I need to be seriously active in developing the knowledge and skills for self-sufficiency. I have only taken baby steps toward this and I am capable of much more. The most major distraction from me putting this kind of dedication into the things I consider was the computer game in which I've become overly absorbed. Actually, my boyfriend was suffering from the same thing toward his writing. So as of the end of this month, we are quitting the game entirely. This was not an easy decision for us, but once made, it is a relief for us.
So the new plan is quit the computer game and spend all that time practicing cooking (tomorrow I'm going to attempt bread), figuring out my sewing machine, and developing myself into a more capable and consistent person. I'm also going to be working on my application for Umass Amherst and getting the FAFSA submitted. February I'm going to work on making sure I can transfer to the Whole Foods in Hadley and finding an apartment, and March is moving month! I am so excited. Life feels really wonderful and I can see how I am gradually developing toward what I want.
he past two months or so have been a whirlwind. In mid-November Daniel and I visited Amherst. I think I may have told you about that. I spent the week of Thanksgiving at my parents' in Snowflake, Arizona. My sister got married then, and it was nice to see family. Her husband seems like a pretty decent fellow and they're happy together. Of course December was very busy at Whole Foods, allowing me to earn more money than usual. Even better was the series of realizations I've come to over that course of time. I'm practicing Nichiren Buddhism still, and my practice is constantly strengthening. That has been a great contribution to the introspection I've been experiencing. I can only share a few of the most major epiphanies here I think.
I need to stop reinventing the wheel. People have been telling me this for awhile, especially in regards to the farm village concept, but it didn't really sink in until just recently. It applies to a whole series of things from my dreads to the village. Actually, it's my dreads which got me to realize it. They weren't turning out the way I wanted. I think that's because I only had the guidance of what was essentially book learning, and that's often not sufficient to attain the results I want. So as part of this, I'm taking them out. They're most of the way out now. Daniel has been doing most of it, and he has been both gentle and patient.
My second major realization is that I have not been having the degree of success I want developing the village community (and my Buddhist practice) because I have not been putting in real, sincere, dedication and effort. This may seem extremely simple, but it was very hard for me to admit to myself. If I want to find the kind of people who are interested and capable of participating in this kind of village, I really must be that person myself. I need to be seriously active in developing the knowledge and skills for self-sufficiency. I have only taken baby steps toward this and I am capable of much more. The most major distraction from me putting this kind of dedication into the things I consider was the computer game in which I've become overly absorbed. Actually, my boyfriend was suffering from the same thing toward his writing. So as of the end of this month, we are quitting the game entirely. This was not an easy decision for us, but once made, it is a relief for us.
So the new plan is quit the computer game and spend all that time practicing cooking (tomorrow I'm going to attempt bread), figuring out my sewing machine, and developing myself into a more capable and consistent person. I'm also going to be working on my application for Umass Amherst and getting the FAFSA submitted. February I'm going to work on making sure I can transfer to the Whole Foods in Hadley and finding an apartment, and March is moving month! I am so excited. Life feels really wonderful and I can see how I am gradually developing toward what I want.