The Pottermore Network: Hufflepuff
Title: The Pottermore Network
Fandom: The Social Network
Characters: Eduardo/Mark pairing, Dustin, and Chris.
Rating: T
Warnings: I have no idea. I'll ask Kelly. WARNING: A WILD DUSTIN APPEARS.
Spoilers: Uh... The Social Network? I think?
Summary: Mark hacks into Pottermore to see what house he's in. Dissatisfied with the results, he crashes the site, and calls on Eduardo to help him make improvements. Eduardo helps, but not in the way Mark expects.
Notes: I know nothing about coding, so if anyone does and wants to correct me on what I've said, please feel free. Also: As it's a "choose your own adventure" type story, the story-line of each individual house is extremely similar, though the details are different. This is on purpose, because, well... It's Mark and Eduardo.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Pottermore. I do not own The Social Network. This is a work of fiction, and the characters described herein are based on the fictional representation of real people, to whom I have no affiliation or connection with. If you got here via searching your name by some means, I would advise you to go back and go to a different place. You should try YouTube! They have kittens there!
Dedication: This was inspired and encouraged by Julia and Kelly. I thank you both dearly, because I probably wouldn't have written it had you both not insisted. I love you both. TEAM PRIDE, YEAH.
No. No way in hell is he a Hufflepuff. That’s just… no. He’s not a Hufflepuff. He’s a Slytherin, that’s the house he chose when he made it a priority to choose. Dustin made him choose his house, for the rest of his life, and he’s a Slytherin.
Dustin rushes in just ahead of Chris to see what’s he done. “Hufflepuff? You’re in Hufflepuff? COOL! That’s my house, I bet you, and we can be in the same house, and share a room, and it’ll be like Kirkland all over again! Except without Chris, since Chris is probably a Gryffindor.”
Chris rolls his eyes and mutters, “Thank God,” under his breath. Then, “Mark, what did you do?”
Dustin makes a ‘pssh’ sound and leans over to see the computer. “Well, obviously, we have a hacker in Facebook HQ. HE’S HACKIN’ IN YO POTTERS, HE’S SNATCHIN’ YO HOUSES UP! TRYIN’A SORT ‘EM, SO Y’ALL NEED TA HIDE YO WANDS, HIDE YO BROOMS, AND HIDE YO CAULDRONS, ‘CAUSE HE’S SNATCHIN’ EVERY HOUSE OUT THERE.”
Chris has no qualms about doing bodily harm to Dustin, as some of the staff do, and it’s no surprise when he slaps him in the side of the head and forces him out of the way.
By the time the scuffle is over, Mark has coded a virus into the page, and the site goes down. Half the staff in the main room groan, and he can hear them hitting their refresh keys. It’s an ocean of tapping, but no one can manage to get it back up.
Dustin, seeing the damage already done, stops fighting Chris and instead stares at Mark with dismay. He looks like he’s about to cry. “Mark… Marky Mark… Mark, you’re my friend, why would you-- why? WHY, MARK, WHY?”
Mark shrugs. “It’s selection of houses is obviously wrong. No one would’ve gotten the house they want, and the internet would’ve rioted.”
Dustin lets out a loud squeak, and allows Chris to drag him to the elevator, presumably to go to the cafeteria for something chocolate and/or sugary.
Before he leaves Mark’s office, Chris says one thing: “Fix this.”
So, okay. He’ll fix it. Chris said, and Dustin is upset, so he’ll code a better Pottermore. He’ll improve it, and everyone will be happy.
He gets halfway through when he remembers that he needs a new algorithm to make it work. The only person he knows that could come up with a good enough algorithm is Eduardo.
It’s kind of nice to know that he can call Eduardo now. It’d taken a few tense shareholders meetings, a couple of civil promotional events, and one really long phone call at two in the morning to get it to where they could talk to each other comfortably, but it’s been worth it. Eduardo emails him whenever something irritates him, and Mark can do the best friend thing, where he basically just calls everyone giving Eduardo any kind of trouble “idiots” and then tells him that he’s so much cooler and smarter than them.
It helps that it’s true. He doesn’t know anyone that he values more than Eduardo. Dustin and Chris, and his family of course, they all rank up there, but Eduardo is the one person he knows that is worth more than everything he’s ever made or owned. It took a while to see it, but when he finally did, it was awe-inspiring, and he vowed to never forget how much he needs Eduardo in his life.
He picks up his phone and hits the speed-dial, #2, and waits for him to pick up. He’s supposed to be in the states, probably in Miami, since his mom’s birthday is coming up, and he has to visit home.
Eduardo answers on the first ring. “Hold on a second. I just need to...” Mark can hear the background noises change, and figures he’s leaving a room to talk to him. So he waits. “Okay, hey, Mark. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. No. Well… not exactly.” Mark says. He stares at the computer screen, the giant “Hufflepuff” plastered across the screen.
“What’s wrong, Mark? What happened? Are you-- are you okay?” Eduardo sounds like he’s about to panic, and that’s not a good state for him to be in. Mark takes note to be more clear when he talks to him on the phone.
“I’m fine. I was just sorted into Hufflepuff,” Mark says. He’s not happy with Hufflepuff, exactly. He knows it’s Eduardo’s chosen house, and Dustin’s house, but he doesn’t see himself as a Hufflepuff at all.
“What? You-- Hufflepuff? Really?” Eduardo asks. He sounds excited, which is kind of adorable. Mark won’t say it out loud, though.
“Yes. I’m a Hufflepuff. I hacked my way into Pottermore and now I’m a Hufflepuff.”
“I’m a Hufflepuff, too, Mark. Now we can be in the same house! We’re particularly good finders.” Mark can hear Eduardo grin through the phone. It’s better than the frown he answered with. This is probably not normal behavior for friends, but he doesn’t care. He’s going to make sure to pay attention to everything he possibly can to keep from losing this again.
“I crashed Pottermore, though. I need you to help me improve the sorting method so everyone gets into their correct house.” Mark feels a little bit upset with himself for taking it down so quickly, for writing it off as an error, before he even called Eduardo for his opinion. Eduardo gets Mark, he knows how he thinks and how he feels whenever someone makes a snap judgment about him or his work.
Eduardo sighs. “Mark… why wouldn’t you want to be in Hufflepuff? We’re fun, we’re cuddly, our common room is right by the kitchens… why do you hate my house?” Eduardo’s grin probably has gotten even wider, and a small laugh comes out of his mouth.
Mark isn’t joking, though. “I’m not fun or cuddly, though, Eduardo. I don’t like those same things. I don’t-- I’m not loyal like a Hufflepuff. I let you down, so many times. I did things that hurt you and I don’t deserve to be in the same house as you.”
Eduardo stops grinning. Mark can tell. Mark knows Eduardo so well, it’s almost unreal. “Mark… you-- I don’t think…” He stops talking for a minute, and simply breathes.
“Eduardo… I’m not even sure how we became friends again. I don’t deserve to have you talking to me on the phone like this. I don’t deserve to have you in my life.” Mark lets all his insecurities out, figuring that he has nothing to lose. ‘That’s not true,' he thinks. 'I have so much to lose.’
“Mark… we became friends again because you wanted to be. You apologized to me, remember, that day after the shareholders' meeting. You sat down and apologized to me for hurting me, and you kept on apologizing, until I accepted it. You’ve been there for me through everything, since then. Boyfriends have left me, and- and coworkers have pissed me off and my father-”
“Your father is a jerk. I get that he’s your dad, but he doesn’t deserve you, either.” Mark interrupts. Eduardo’s father is a tough subject. He’s not a warm man. He loves his son, they all know this, but he’s not very close to him, and he doesn’t give him the kind of love and support that Eduardo needs sometimes.
“That’s-- Mark, I know, he’s not... that’s not the point. But every time he’s said or done something that upsets me, you come through and you tell me that it’s okay, that I’m okay. You’ve helped me through so many rough spots, just by being there and listening. I couldn’t get you to listen to me all the time at Harvard, but you’ve taken the time and you’ve made so much effort to be my friend again.
“And Facebook! You work so hard on Facebook, all the time, because you love it and it makes people happy and you like your job. And you don’t hate anyone, Mark, you don’t. You like some people, and you’re indifferent to a lot, but you’ve never hated anyone, and… and you’re so loyal, Mark. You have your ways and your rules, and you never strayed from them. You’re so… you’re just so good, Mark.” Eduardo pants into the phone, and it sounds like he’s seconds from crying.
Mark is hunched over. He’d turned his chair around to pay more attention to the conversation, and he’s been holding his forehead in his palm. “Wardo, I--”
“If anyone deserves to have me in their life, Mark, it’s definitely you. You made some choices that hurt me, but you more than made up for them. That’s the way Hufflepuffs are.” Eduardo interjects. He’s definitely crying, now. He’s probably in his childhood bedroom, sitting at his own desk, door closed, allowing himself to feel so much.
Mark wipes at his face, trying to convince himself that it’s sweat, even though his thermostat is set to 75 degrees. “I… Wardo, you’re my best friend. You’re my best friend and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He puts all the love he feels into his words, and hopes to travels through the airwaves.
It does. “I know. You’re… you’re everything, Mark. You’re just everything.” Eduardo sobs into the phone. Dustin will never hear of this. He’s probably still crying into his milkshake and brownies.
“I wish-- I wish I were there, with you. I know going home is kind of hard, and… God, Wardo, I just miss you so much.” Mark sniffles into the phone. He doesn’t know how to went from Harry Potter to nearly proclaiming everything over the phone, but it’s a conversation that’s been long overdue, and he’s glad for it.
“You could come out. Bring your laptop, so I can get sorted, and then we could hang out with my parents. My father can be hard to get along with, but he respects you, so that’s something. I could pick you up…” Eduardo trails off, his voice light with hope.
Mark spins around in his chair and opens a browser window. Within minutes, he has a flight booked out to Miami. “I’m taking the red eye out. I’ll be there around eight in the morning.”
Eduardo laughs, and it’s so good to hear. “I’ll clean up a room for you. Right by mine. My mom will be so glad to see you.”
Mark smiles, and hopes Eduardo can tell. “Maybe we can go see my parents after. I haven’t been to visit in a while, and they love you.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”
“Absolutely. I just need to fix the Pottermore crash, finish some work, pack, and then I’m all yours.”
“Perfect.”
Party Time! | Gryffindor | Ravenclaw | Slytherin
Fandom: The Social Network
Characters: Eduardo/Mark pairing, Dustin, and Chris.
Rating: T
Warnings: I have no idea. I'll ask Kelly. WARNING: A WILD DUSTIN APPEARS.
Spoilers: Uh... The Social Network? I think?
Summary: Mark hacks into Pottermore to see what house he's in. Dissatisfied with the results, he crashes the site, and calls on Eduardo to help him make improvements. Eduardo helps, but not in the way Mark expects.
Notes: I know nothing about coding, so if anyone does and wants to correct me on what I've said, please feel free. Also: As it's a "choose your own adventure" type story, the story-line of each individual house is extremely similar, though the details are different. This is on purpose, because, well... It's Mark and Eduardo.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do not own Pottermore. I do not own The Social Network. This is a work of fiction, and the characters described herein are based on the fictional representation of real people, to whom I have no affiliation or connection with. If you got here via searching your name by some means, I would advise you to go back and go to a different place. You should try YouTube! They have kittens there!
Dedication: This was inspired and encouraged by Julia and Kelly. I thank you both dearly, because I probably wouldn't have written it had you both not insisted. I love you both. TEAM PRIDE, YEAH.
No. No way in hell is he a Hufflepuff. That’s just… no. He’s not a Hufflepuff. He’s a Slytherin, that’s the house he chose when he made it a priority to choose. Dustin made him choose his house, for the rest of his life, and he’s a Slytherin.
Dustin rushes in just ahead of Chris to see what’s he done. “Hufflepuff? You’re in Hufflepuff? COOL! That’s my house, I bet you, and we can be in the same house, and share a room, and it’ll be like Kirkland all over again! Except without Chris, since Chris is probably a Gryffindor.”
Chris rolls his eyes and mutters, “Thank God,” under his breath. Then, “Mark, what did you do?”
Dustin makes a ‘pssh’ sound and leans over to see the computer. “Well, obviously, we have a hacker in Facebook HQ. HE’S HACKIN’ IN YO POTTERS, HE’S SNATCHIN’ YO HOUSES UP! TRYIN’A SORT ‘EM, SO Y’ALL NEED TA HIDE YO WANDS, HIDE YO BROOMS, AND HIDE YO CAULDRONS, ‘CAUSE HE’S SNATCHIN’ EVERY HOUSE OUT THERE.”
Chris has no qualms about doing bodily harm to Dustin, as some of the staff do, and it’s no surprise when he slaps him in the side of the head and forces him out of the way.
By the time the scuffle is over, Mark has coded a virus into the page, and the site goes down. Half the staff in the main room groan, and he can hear them hitting their refresh keys. It’s an ocean of tapping, but no one can manage to get it back up.
Dustin, seeing the damage already done, stops fighting Chris and instead stares at Mark with dismay. He looks like he’s about to cry. “Mark… Marky Mark… Mark, you’re my friend, why would you-- why? WHY, MARK, WHY?”
Mark shrugs. “It’s selection of houses is obviously wrong. No one would’ve gotten the house they want, and the internet would’ve rioted.”
Dustin lets out a loud squeak, and allows Chris to drag him to the elevator, presumably to go to the cafeteria for something chocolate and/or sugary.
Before he leaves Mark’s office, Chris says one thing: “Fix this.”
So, okay. He’ll fix it. Chris said, and Dustin is upset, so he’ll code a better Pottermore. He’ll improve it, and everyone will be happy.
He gets halfway through when he remembers that he needs a new algorithm to make it work. The only person he knows that could come up with a good enough algorithm is Eduardo.
It’s kind of nice to know that he can call Eduardo now. It’d taken a few tense shareholders meetings, a couple of civil promotional events, and one really long phone call at two in the morning to get it to where they could talk to each other comfortably, but it’s been worth it. Eduardo emails him whenever something irritates him, and Mark can do the best friend thing, where he basically just calls everyone giving Eduardo any kind of trouble “idiots” and then tells him that he’s so much cooler and smarter than them.
It helps that it’s true. He doesn’t know anyone that he values more than Eduardo. Dustin and Chris, and his family of course, they all rank up there, but Eduardo is the one person he knows that is worth more than everything he’s ever made or owned. It took a while to see it, but when he finally did, it was awe-inspiring, and he vowed to never forget how much he needs Eduardo in his life.
He picks up his phone and hits the speed-dial, #2, and waits for him to pick up. He’s supposed to be in the states, probably in Miami, since his mom’s birthday is coming up, and he has to visit home.
Eduardo answers on the first ring. “Hold on a second. I just need to...” Mark can hear the background noises change, and figures he’s leaving a room to talk to him. So he waits. “Okay, hey, Mark. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Yes. No. Well… not exactly.” Mark says. He stares at the computer screen, the giant “Hufflepuff” plastered across the screen.
“What’s wrong, Mark? What happened? Are you-- are you okay?” Eduardo sounds like he’s about to panic, and that’s not a good state for him to be in. Mark takes note to be more clear when he talks to him on the phone.
“I’m fine. I was just sorted into Hufflepuff,” Mark says. He’s not happy with Hufflepuff, exactly. He knows it’s Eduardo’s chosen house, and Dustin’s house, but he doesn’t see himself as a Hufflepuff at all.
“What? You-- Hufflepuff? Really?” Eduardo asks. He sounds excited, which is kind of adorable. Mark won’t say it out loud, though.
“Yes. I’m a Hufflepuff. I hacked my way into Pottermore and now I’m a Hufflepuff.”
“I’m a Hufflepuff, too, Mark. Now we can be in the same house! We’re particularly good finders.” Mark can hear Eduardo grin through the phone. It’s better than the frown he answered with. This is probably not normal behavior for friends, but he doesn’t care. He’s going to make sure to pay attention to everything he possibly can to keep from losing this again.
“I crashed Pottermore, though. I need you to help me improve the sorting method so everyone gets into their correct house.” Mark feels a little bit upset with himself for taking it down so quickly, for writing it off as an error, before he even called Eduardo for his opinion. Eduardo gets Mark, he knows how he thinks and how he feels whenever someone makes a snap judgment about him or his work.
Eduardo sighs. “Mark… why wouldn’t you want to be in Hufflepuff? We’re fun, we’re cuddly, our common room is right by the kitchens… why do you hate my house?” Eduardo’s grin probably has gotten even wider, and a small laugh comes out of his mouth.
Mark isn’t joking, though. “I’m not fun or cuddly, though, Eduardo. I don’t like those same things. I don’t-- I’m not loyal like a Hufflepuff. I let you down, so many times. I did things that hurt you and I don’t deserve to be in the same house as you.”
Eduardo stops grinning. Mark can tell. Mark knows Eduardo so well, it’s almost unreal. “Mark… you-- I don’t think…” He stops talking for a minute, and simply breathes.
“Eduardo… I’m not even sure how we became friends again. I don’t deserve to have you talking to me on the phone like this. I don’t deserve to have you in my life.” Mark lets all his insecurities out, figuring that he has nothing to lose. ‘That’s not true,' he thinks. 'I have so much to lose.’
“Mark… we became friends again because you wanted to be. You apologized to me, remember, that day after the shareholders' meeting. You sat down and apologized to me for hurting me, and you kept on apologizing, until I accepted it. You’ve been there for me through everything, since then. Boyfriends have left me, and- and coworkers have pissed me off and my father-”
“Your father is a jerk. I get that he’s your dad, but he doesn’t deserve you, either.” Mark interrupts. Eduardo’s father is a tough subject. He’s not a warm man. He loves his son, they all know this, but he’s not very close to him, and he doesn’t give him the kind of love and support that Eduardo needs sometimes.
“That’s-- Mark, I know, he’s not... that’s not the point. But every time he’s said or done something that upsets me, you come through and you tell me that it’s okay, that I’m okay. You’ve helped me through so many rough spots, just by being there and listening. I couldn’t get you to listen to me all the time at Harvard, but you’ve taken the time and you’ve made so much effort to be my friend again.
“And Facebook! You work so hard on Facebook, all the time, because you love it and it makes people happy and you like your job. And you don’t hate anyone, Mark, you don’t. You like some people, and you’re indifferent to a lot, but you’ve never hated anyone, and… and you’re so loyal, Mark. You have your ways and your rules, and you never strayed from them. You’re so… you’re just so good, Mark.” Eduardo pants into the phone, and it sounds like he’s seconds from crying.
Mark is hunched over. He’d turned his chair around to pay more attention to the conversation, and he’s been holding his forehead in his palm. “Wardo, I--”
“If anyone deserves to have me in their life, Mark, it’s definitely you. You made some choices that hurt me, but you more than made up for them. That’s the way Hufflepuffs are.” Eduardo interjects. He’s definitely crying, now. He’s probably in his childhood bedroom, sitting at his own desk, door closed, allowing himself to feel so much.
Mark wipes at his face, trying to convince himself that it’s sweat, even though his thermostat is set to 75 degrees. “I… Wardo, you’re my best friend. You’re my best friend and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He puts all the love he feels into his words, and hopes to travels through the airwaves.
It does. “I know. You’re… you’re everything, Mark. You’re just everything.” Eduardo sobs into the phone. Dustin will never hear of this. He’s probably still crying into his milkshake and brownies.
“I wish-- I wish I were there, with you. I know going home is kind of hard, and… God, Wardo, I just miss you so much.” Mark sniffles into the phone. He doesn’t know how to went from Harry Potter to nearly proclaiming everything over the phone, but it’s a conversation that’s been long overdue, and he’s glad for it.
“You could come out. Bring your laptop, so I can get sorted, and then we could hang out with my parents. My father can be hard to get along with, but he respects you, so that’s something. I could pick you up…” Eduardo trails off, his voice light with hope.
Mark spins around in his chair and opens a browser window. Within minutes, he has a flight booked out to Miami. “I’m taking the red eye out. I’ll be there around eight in the morning.”
Eduardo laughs, and it’s so good to hear. “I’ll clean up a room for you. Right by mine. My mom will be so glad to see you.”
Mark smiles, and hopes Eduardo can tell. “Maybe we can go see my parents after. I haven’t been to visit in a while, and they love you.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”
“Absolutely. I just need to fix the Pottermore crash, finish some work, pack, and then I’m all yours.”
“Perfect.”
Party Time! | Gryffindor | Ravenclaw | Slytherin