Rock bottom is only relative
Things can be so terrible. I've been at bottom for a while now. But then again, 'rock bottom' is an essential concept and thus does not exist. Justification? When one of your biggest problems is for someone else one of their greatest joys. That really fucks with your head when you know they can be right. And so the world is being reborn to me. It's not pessimism or optimism, that's irrelevant. It's not cynicism, which is just an attractive trait. Really, it's bitterness. Bitterness just is not good. But it's something indefinable - nihilism, wu. Not to be thought, just felt and experienced. Perhaps that just needs a blessing, then.
Another change was thinking about trying fiction over the summer. So I met someone that was into creative fiction and they encourage I try it. It's incredible, it's something I've being doing regularly (not for that long, but multiple sessions). Plot, characters, and quasi-themes emerge into your head and flow and the energy you feel and the emotion you want to express - it's working. Hopefully I can stick with it. As long as I'm angsty it shouldn't be a problem.
Another change was thinking about trying fiction over the summer. So I met someone that was into creative fiction and they encourage I try it. It's incredible, it's something I've being doing regularly (not for that long, but multiple sessions). Plot, characters, and quasi-themes emerge into your head and flow and the energy you feel and the emotion you want to express - it's working. Hopefully I can stick with it. As long as I'm angsty it shouldn't be a problem.