Comedown
I'm using this as a way of taking notes, if you haven't guessed.
The methylphenidate I just took was strong as fuck for a reason I am unsure of. I've been on it for two and half months, but a moment like this is one to be cherished - like people who are fucked up on coke and they write a book over night. Only, for me, I'm doing metatheraputic work. But, what I wanted to say is that the analysis of the data I found is incredible and this is why science kicks everything's ass in terms of practical usage. I have such little susceptibility to comedowns that I forget they exist. The issue of prescribing a stimulant is that it really is addictive. I don't psychoactively addict easily. So what I noticed is that I am feeling pretty up, cramming out the data, making conclusions (which I am looking into as a cause for the strength of highs), and I notice I start to come down. One thing stimulant drugs are good at (though people can't usually do this) are making you more effective in a sober state because it helps process memory and that kind of shit so you learn better when up and take those learned skills with you when you're sober. Anyways, so I start to feel a comedown. I forget it is a comedown because I rarely experience noticeable ones, so I think the state during the comedown is just a state of normality. This kind of sucks, because I'm thinking 'Shit, I don't feel like I can function as well as society demands me to. This therapy shit better work really well if I want to stop being on drugs'.
I go back to work because even if you are depressed you can function just as well if you get really into the script (depression distracts you functioning, yet depressed people who die in car accidents who die tend to do it in suicide, not inability to function). About two minutes later, I feel normal - and I realize that that was a comedown. That lack of faith in my ability to function came from something that makes people try to kill themselves on a more extreme extent.
The lesson (to myself) is that I'm on the standard anti-depression/bipolar drugs to handle me when I get depressed. If I don't fall to the point of depression, I won't need them. That's why methylphenidate rules.
The methylphenidate I just took was strong as fuck for a reason I am unsure of. I've been on it for two and half months, but a moment like this is one to be cherished - like people who are fucked up on coke and they write a book over night. Only, for me, I'm doing metatheraputic work. But, what I wanted to say is that the analysis of the data I found is incredible and this is why science kicks everything's ass in terms of practical usage. I have such little susceptibility to comedowns that I forget they exist. The issue of prescribing a stimulant is that it really is addictive. I don't psychoactively addict easily. So what I noticed is that I am feeling pretty up, cramming out the data, making conclusions (which I am looking into as a cause for the strength of highs), and I notice I start to come down. One thing stimulant drugs are good at (though people can't usually do this) are making you more effective in a sober state because it helps process memory and that kind of shit so you learn better when up and take those learned skills with you when you're sober. Anyways, so I start to feel a comedown. I forget it is a comedown because I rarely experience noticeable ones, so I think the state during the comedown is just a state of normality. This kind of sucks, because I'm thinking 'Shit, I don't feel like I can function as well as society demands me to. This therapy shit better work really well if I want to stop being on drugs'.
I go back to work because even if you are depressed you can function just as well if you get really into the script (depression distracts you functioning, yet depressed people who die in car accidents who die tend to do it in suicide, not inability to function). About two minutes later, I feel normal - and I realize that that was a comedown. That lack of faith in my ability to function came from something that makes people try to kill themselves on a more extreme extent.
The lesson (to myself) is that I'm on the standard anti-depression/bipolar drugs to handle me when I get depressed. If I don't fall to the point of depression, I won't need them. That's why methylphenidate rules.