(no subject)
how do i figure out whats right? i feel like i am living a double life. one involves what feels like the same person on both sides. i feel suffocated in this life i live. i don't know what to do. one wants me to choose and follow the life of my grandfather. the other wants me to do what i have dreamed of doing. is there true happiness with two people. everytime i get close it just gets pulled away or crushed right in my face.
how do i figure out whats right? i only play the sport cause it is the only thing in life that makes sense right now. get up at 7, go work out, run 2 miles, practice on shots, hang out with friends. same thing over and over again. i just want to leave this place and be forgotten. can that ever happen? not anytime soon i fear. something inside of me makes me feel attached. i can't figure out what that is. is it possible to like 2 people equally, how about 3. i am afraid that when i see the 3rd it will all come back. i tried to stop it but fate just seems to bring it back. This is where someone would enter the ever so popular "fuck my life" or "FML" but that phrase has been over used by pop-culture and there ever need to find the "cool" in everyday life. no this situation needs no phrase, no metaphors, and no symbolism, it is simple. it's its own situation that has ever greatest minds searching for answers.
I could consider that it is simply me that has the problem but it is hard to look at oneself and change what you see. so i put blame on the outside world, hoping that someday someone will come that will change everything for me. until that day, i keep play. i keep waking up and living the same day over and over again until i dare myself to walk a different path. the scariest part that i am not sure if can when the time presents itself or if that time has already passed
how do i figure out whats right? i only play the sport cause it is the only thing in life that makes sense right now. get up at 7, go work out, run 2 miles, practice on shots, hang out with friends. same thing over and over again. i just want to leave this place and be forgotten. can that ever happen? not anytime soon i fear. something inside of me makes me feel attached. i can't figure out what that is. is it possible to like 2 people equally, how about 3. i am afraid that when i see the 3rd it will all come back. i tried to stop it but fate just seems to bring it back. This is where someone would enter the ever so popular "fuck my life" or "FML" but that phrase has been over used by pop-culture and there ever need to find the "cool" in everyday life. no this situation needs no phrase, no metaphors, and no symbolism, it is simple. it's its own situation that has ever greatest minds searching for answers.
I could consider that it is simply me that has the problem but it is hard to look at oneself and change what you see. so i put blame on the outside world, hoping that someday someone will come that will change everything for me. until that day, i keep play. i keep waking up and living the same day over and over again until i dare myself to walk a different path. the scariest part that i am not sure if can when the time presents itself or if that time has already passed