(no subject)
Big fucking surprise that I'm hurt. This cycle needs to stop.
You can't act surprised at this. You knew from the get-go what that collar meant to me. I'd have thought the one blow up we had - remember, the one where I bit you and threw it in your face? - would have driven the point home, but apparently you missed the clue.
So, ready yourself, because the clue bat's a-comin'.
You don't collar a submissive without the intent of a relationship, especially after giving them the idea that a relationship was plausible to begin with. Don't say you didn't either; I seem to remember you screaming a hearty FUCK YOU COMPLICATIONS at one point, and I'm pretty sure the blog you wrote about me after that song I sent you - the one where your friend suggested you "fucking date the bitch already" - included the words "I haven't wanted anything this badly for a long time" at the end of it. Yeah, you wanted me so fucking badly that, like all those before you, once you had me you couldn't be bothered to follow through. And you wonder why I always say no one wants me enough? I should think that paints a pretty obvious picture as to why. Oh, and let's not leave out the hints of marriage and kids either - once again, don't even try and suggest you had nothing to do with that. I wasn't the one that made quips about what a hybrid of our 'sonas would look like or suggestions of a last initial that, conveniently, your last name starts with.
I hoped that you would change your mind. I hoped that you being happy for the first time in God knows how fucking long while I was down there would be enough to show you that I was worth the risk, that I wouldn't have hurt you for the world. You even said you felt like something was missing after I'd left, something vital. Apparently I was mistaken, and now that you have a girlfriend - one that lives in my city, to add insult to injury - I'm left feeling worthless once more. Oh, and let's not bypass the fact that I've hurt two other people in the process by telling them that this particular pain of mine requires me to run and hide from anything that could even remotely have the possibility of becoming a relationship. I simply don't have the energy left to bother taking a chance again, and I don't know if I'll have the energy to bother for a long time. As things stand, I'm not only staying away from relationships, but I'm locking my submissiveness away too; I'm giving up one of the fundamental parts of my personality because it's frankly too fucking painful to keep on the surface.
Call it passive aggressive, but I don't want to hear a word out of you about this blog - not one peep. I'll know when you've read it, because I know you're going to be hurt. Quite frankly, right now I don't care. My pain means more, and I'll be a selfish bitch about it all I bloody well please.
I just hope she makes you happy because it's pretty painfully apparent to me that I didn't.
You can't act surprised at this. You knew from the get-go what that collar meant to me. I'd have thought the one blow up we had - remember, the one where I bit you and threw it in your face? - would have driven the point home, but apparently you missed the clue.
So, ready yourself, because the clue bat's a-comin'.
You don't collar a submissive without the intent of a relationship, especially after giving them the idea that a relationship was plausible to begin with. Don't say you didn't either; I seem to remember you screaming a hearty FUCK YOU COMPLICATIONS at one point, and I'm pretty sure the blog you wrote about me after that song I sent you - the one where your friend suggested you "fucking date the bitch already" - included the words "I haven't wanted anything this badly for a long time" at the end of it. Yeah, you wanted me so fucking badly that, like all those before you, once you had me you couldn't be bothered to follow through. And you wonder why I always say no one wants me enough? I should think that paints a pretty obvious picture as to why. Oh, and let's not leave out the hints of marriage and kids either - once again, don't even try and suggest you had nothing to do with that. I wasn't the one that made quips about what a hybrid of our 'sonas would look like or suggestions of a last initial that, conveniently, your last name starts with.
I hoped that you would change your mind. I hoped that you being happy for the first time in God knows how fucking long while I was down there would be enough to show you that I was worth the risk, that I wouldn't have hurt you for the world. You even said you felt like something was missing after I'd left, something vital. Apparently I was mistaken, and now that you have a girlfriend - one that lives in my city, to add insult to injury - I'm left feeling worthless once more. Oh, and let's not bypass the fact that I've hurt two other people in the process by telling them that this particular pain of mine requires me to run and hide from anything that could even remotely have the possibility of becoming a relationship. I simply don't have the energy left to bother taking a chance again, and I don't know if I'll have the energy to bother for a long time. As things stand, I'm not only staying away from relationships, but I'm locking my submissiveness away too; I'm giving up one of the fundamental parts of my personality because it's frankly too fucking painful to keep on the surface.
Call it passive aggressive, but I don't want to hear a word out of you about this blog - not one peep. I'll know when you've read it, because I know you're going to be hurt. Quite frankly, right now I don't care. My pain means more, and I'll be a selfish bitch about it all I bloody well please.
I just hope she makes you happy because it's pretty painfully apparent to me that I didn't.