Restless
I am waiting and waiting to get a job out in Hawaii. I a, signed up with 2 different travel companies at this point. I could have a job in a hospital on a TINY inland of Lanai. I talked withthe nurse manager today and it is a 13 bed hsipital! It advertised for ER but in all relaity is a sorta like a nursing home for about 8 people who live there and any emergencies on the island(population less than 3,000) are stablized (to who knows what extent) there and transported via helicopter to Maui. She told me there is NO nightlife there, no bars. There is not even a doctor there 24 hours. There is a doctor on call that comes in from a medical clinic nearby. Not too safe in my opinion, on top of the fact that it sounds boring as all hell. Everyone that works there is over 45 she told me. Well fuck me! The other angencyI am talking with keeps giving me the run around as far as job offers in Honolulu which is where I would prefer to work. My recruiter said that she will secure a job for me most likely by this coming week. Yeah, just like she told me that a manager was going to call me last week. She keeps changing her story. Fuck! I know what I want! I have been so mentally prepared to go and now I feel like my dreams are crushed. I HATE sounding like a pessmistic whiney person, but I sware to God, can;t something work out for me, just for once! I want to start a whole new life. I want a second chance. LA is NOT for me. I want to get away from all the bad memories and mistakes and negative people that I have known. LA is also just so plastic and surreal. I watch TV every once in a while and I'll see one of my celeb patients on there and it's just so wierd. Most times when I am assigned to a celebrity I ask another nurse if they would like to have him/her because it's too stressful. Some as nice, some are bitches from hell, so are crazier than shit, and some just make me me too nervous.
Again, stupid me, I hug out with Rico (the cardiologist) the last few days. We went to Santa Barbara. He took me to my laser eye appointment the next day, dropped me off there so her could see a patient. He then picked me up and took me to his house to sleep since I was on valium. He left me there and came home at 1100pm after practicing for a play. Made me gnocchi? and we went to bed. He took me to my follow up appointment the next day and took me to my car. It was soooo over between us. I said some fucked up shit to him and vice-versa. He called and I guess out of boredom and lonelines we hung out those few day. I appreciate what he did for me, but on the other hand I never know what his intentions are. Maybe they are what mine are,boredom and to keep each other company. I nor proclaim ASEXUALITY. I sware, I will stick to this rule until I find a worthy man who I will be in a serious relationship with. I will not even kiss anyone, I am so done.
So please, cross your fingers that I will be called for a job in Hawaii soon...
Again, stupid me, I hug out with Rico (the cardiologist) the last few days. We went to Santa Barbara. He took me to my laser eye appointment the next day, dropped me off there so her could see a patient. He then picked me up and took me to his house to sleep since I was on valium. He left me there and came home at 1100pm after practicing for a play. Made me gnocchi? and we went to bed. He took me to my follow up appointment the next day and took me to my car. It was soooo over between us. I said some fucked up shit to him and vice-versa. He called and I guess out of boredom and lonelines we hung out those few day. I appreciate what he did for me, but on the other hand I never know what his intentions are. Maybe they are what mine are,boredom and to keep each other company. I nor proclaim ASEXUALITY. I sware, I will stick to this rule until I find a worthy man who I will be in a serious relationship with. I will not even kiss anyone, I am so done.
So please, cross your fingers that I will be called for a job in Hawaii soon...