Requiem Part Three
Part Three
Jensen
Jensen wakes up in his own room. He can tell because these are his sheets, this is his mattress. A part of him feels a pang of sadness at not being able to wake up to Jared’s face. He’s not sure if he would have been greeted by black, yellow or hazel eyes but he finds himself just wishing he could have been greeted by Jared. Growing more and more depressed by the second, he pulls the covers over his head. The movement sends a dull aching throb up his ass and he groans to himself.
He’s pining away like a thirteen year old girl after her first breakup because of a male demon. Gathering up the shreds of his dignity, he pushes the covers down, sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He blinks around, only then realizing that Jared must have taken out his contacts before he sent him here. Sure enough, he can see the blurry outline of his glasses on his bedside table.
He pushes the stylishly framed lenses, courtesy of Danneel, up his nose and that’s when his gaze falls upon a note. He picks it up and smiles softly to himself as he reads it.
I figured this is all still too weird for you to want to wake up with a demon in your bed so I sent you back home. I took your contacts out too, I know they get real uncomfortable when you fall asleep wearing them. I don’t know if you’re up to hanging out today but if you want to you know where to find me. So yeah, hanging out today? Here’s Tristan’s number: 051-890-8092. The guy saved himself as a contact just in case he forgot it! Man after my own heart. Anyway, go shower Jen, you probably stink. See you later, I hope.
J Tris Jared
Now that Jensen thinks about it, Jared is right. Waking up in bed with a demon, a male demon to be exact, would probably scare him out of the whole thing. As it is, despite wishing he were with Jared at this very moment, he can’t help but feel impure.
He slides off the bed and gets down on his knees next to it. He doesn’t even feel like he could touch his rosary while doing his morning prayers. He crosses himself, though, feeling like he owes God at least that. Ten minutes later, he hasn’t even been able to say a prayer. He can’t bring himself to ask God for anything, even if it’s to save the other poor souls who are possessed. He feels too unworthy to enter into His presence even on n the behalf of someone else.
He sighs and blinks away tears. All his life he’s had his faith to keep him grounded. Now Jared’s breezed through and turned everything on its head. Jensen can’t blame Jared, though, he can only blame himself for giving into the temptation.
The water of his shower is so hot it hurts, but it doesn’t make him feel any cleaner.
::
He’s been trying to focus on the latest Bible study Chris emailed him for the past half hour. He hasn’t learned anything. Every other word changes to sinner and unholy and other similar terms that make him feel downright despicable, right before his eyes. The letters are bright crimson with blood and his vision wavers and he wonders how could he ever believe a man in a tie-dyed shirt who claimed to be an angel over the written word of God itself.
He slams his laptop closed and pushes the chair away from his desk, screaming in frustration. To his left he hears a soft whispering of what could only be described as wings and he closes his eyes, shaking his head as if that will make Misha go away.
“Hey!” Misha says cheerfully. Jensen opens one eye and Jesus Christ, what is his angel wearing? The heavenly creature is clothed in a shirt that reads My Other Shirt is a Calvin Klein and bell-bottom jeans. Jensen groans to himself. Why’d he get stuck with this guy? “I hear you’ve been angsting over nothing,” Misha continues. “Again.”
“Stop it,” Jensen says quietly. “I am not angsting. I am no teenage girl -”
“Funny,” Misha snarks. “You were acting like one a couple hours ago.”
“Ha ha. Anyway. I am not angsting. And it’s not nothing.”
“Yes, it is. Have you forgotten what I’ve told you?”
How could Jensen ever forget that? Misha basically gave him an all access pass to Heaven.
::
“You’re not going to Hell!” Misha had crowed happily.
“I… I what?”
Then Misha went on to explain that there was a special clause in the Heaven Contract stating that if a person is on the path to Heaven and the only thing that could possibly stop them from reaching their goal is the person they fall for, they still get admittance.
“God is a good god,” Misha said. “And yeah, homosexuality is not ideal as it was not intended to exist in the beginning and because of sin it has entered the world but God also knows that you can’t help who you fall in love with and He doesn’t think it would be fair to deny a person entry just because they happen to fall for a guy or a girl, y’know? Love is not dictated by gender and He doesn’t see why Heaven should be.”
“But… the Bible says… It says in Leviticus!”
Misha scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look, Jensen, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. The bible you know today is not, like, the full word of God. Many manuscripts from, what is it now, two thousand years ago? They didn’t even make it into the final book. Not for lack of truth or inspiration. But, you see, the people collecting the texts and gospels and stuff, they were sinners. Just like the people writing it. And then, take the book of Mose for example. First, Moses writes what he thinks God is telling him. Then there’s a bunch of translators writing down what they think Moses is sayin’. But you humans, you’re fallible. So things are bound to get a bit messed up, right? There’s a lot of true stuff in the bible, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of it isn’t. True, I mean. So don’t take everything in there for gospel.”
“But…”
“No buts, man! Don’t you understand what I’m tryin’ to tell you? The Bible is filled with interpretations. If you check another version of the Bible, it’ll have a different interpretation of the words those old men put in there. So no one really knows for sure. Except us angels, of course, but we ain’t born sinful so we don’t need the Bible. Not really.”
He raised an eyebrow at Jensen. “You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?”
Jensen’s angel was cheesy as fuck, but he had to admit that he actually did understand, sort of. Not really; not at all. He nodded anyway, if just to get Misha off his case about the whole thing.
Misha paused to give Jensen a bright smile. “So you see, even though you’re gay -”
“I am not gay!” Jensen replied indignantly, because he wasn’t. Jared was the only exception but he didn’t like men. No, he really, really didn’t like men.
“You say toe-may-toe, I say toe-mah-toe,” Misha said, waving his hand dismissively. “Anyway, you’re not going to Hell. You’ve done some really good stuff for the Lord, Jensen, it’d be a shame to let you burn just because you fell in love with a man.”
::
“It’s not just about ‘not going to Hell’,” Jensen says dismally. “It’s about standing faultless before my Lord. How can I do that when…. When I’m… with… Jared.”
“Dude!” Misha cries, walking over to sit on the edge of Jensen’s desk. “You are faultless! Well, more or less, anyways. You’re well on your way to Heaven, Jensen. You’ve saved so many lives from the Evil One and sent many a demon down to Hell. And this thing with Jared? Isn’t as impure as you might think.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Jensen demands.
“Look, ever since he met you in the club, the rapings have stopped. He’s becoming more and more human each day. Yes, a lot of that has to do with the fact that he and Tristan are one person now. It’s almost as if Tristan has never existed separately from Jared, and vice versa. But you’re also to thank. He’s in love with you, Jensen.”
“Are you saying I saved a demon?” Jensen deadpans, and once again he wonders why he had to get stuck with this whack job angel.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Misha declares. “He’s still a demon because that’s his race or species or whatever. But he’s more human than many of the other humans on earth at the moment. He made mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. But he truly is sorry for them, Heaven keeps tabs on demons too, you know. Many of them are descendants of our ancient brothers and sisters. So I know you saved Jared. Without Tristan’s memories of you, granted not all are good, but anyway. Without those memories, Jared would not have become as human as he is now.” Misha pokes Jensen’s chest firmly. “You are to thank for the re-humanizing of a demon, Father Ackles.”
Jensen is feeling the speech right until Misha calls him ‘Father’. “I have to be defrocked,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’tstep in front of my congregation every week preaching the gospel when I’m living in sin.”
Misha sighs softly. “I understand where you’re coming from but you’d be doing your flock a disservice if you -”
“How can I possibly continue to be a priest if I’m fucking a demon?” Jensen yells before almost instantaneously calming down. “I’ll find some other way to serve God,” he says quietly. “But I can’t be a priest any longer.”
::
Misha is still trying to convince Jensen of his innocence when the doorbell rings. Jensen glares at Misha trying to make him disappear but the angel just smiles happily. “You gonna get that?”
“It’s probably just a member of the church… or something,” Jensen says softly, but in his mind he knows it’s not.
“Yeah,” Misha snorts. “I believe you.”
With a groan, Jensen shakes his head at his angel before going downstairs, Misha hot on his trail. He brushes his hands on his jeans before opening the door. “I’m sorry but I don’t have the time to…” His voice trails off when he realizes who stands in front of him. “Oh…”
“Hey!” Jared says brightly, offering a bag of Thai takeout to Jensen. “I figured you might want to stay home today but I…” his gaze slides over to Misha who’s standing just behind Jensen and waving cheerily. “But I can come later…” he says, expression becoming more guarded and wary.
“No,” Jensen says, a bit too loudly and he clears his throat. “No, he’s not. No.” He forces a chuckle. “C’mon, Jared, I’m not… gay.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously.
“Sure you aren’t, bub,” Misha says, giving Jensen a sharp smack on his ass and causing him to squeak in a decidedly unmanly manner. Jensen turns to glare at the angel before looking back at Jared apologetically.
“Don’t pay attention to this jackass,” Jensen says lowly. “He’s just my guardian angel. Come on in.”
“I know what he is,” Jared says, raising his free hand in the universal ‘don’t shoot’ sign. “I don’t think I should…”
“No, he’s fine, he’s cool,” Jensen rambles, stepping back. The Thai in Jared’s bag smells fucking heavenly and he’s reminded of the fact that he didn’t eat breakfast . “Come in, come in.” He steps back and opens the door wider for Jared and his huge frame. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Misha checking Jared out and his guardian angel surreptitiously gives him a thumbs up.
Yeah, Jensen did always know how to pick them.
Jensen leads them to his kitchen where Jared puts the food on the island in the middle. Jared eyes Misha warily and Jensen has to admit that it makes him happy to see Jared a little flustered and not his usual superior self.
“Hello,” Jared says, hand outstretched to Misha and all soft Texas boy charm. “I’m Jared Padalecki.” Only then does Jensen realize that the charm isn’t just coming from Tristan, but it’s also radiating from Jared. Maybe what Misha was saying about Jared and his humanity was correct.
Misha grins, swatting Jared’s hand away and pulling him into a tight hug, slapping his back. “I know that’s not your real last name, man. I also know your true demonic name is way too complicated to say so you’ve shortened it to Jared. And I’m Misha. Likewise, my true angelic name is way too complicated to say. And hey, ho! We’re introduced!”
The angel steps back and grins at the demon and Jensen can’t help but feel like he’s just witnessed something extremely profound.
“So,” Misha begins, looking from Jensen to Jared. “Is he as good a lay as he looks?”
“Jesus Christ!” Jensen exclaims, looking incredulously at Misha.“What kind of angel are you!” Jared looks extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed but Misha just laughs.
“The fun kind!” he replies, smiling broadly. Jensen can still hear the echo of his laughter when he hears the soft flapping sound indicating that the angel has gone.
Jensen rubs his hand over his face before rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry… Y’know, about my… uh…”
“It’s cool,” Jared replies. “So… I uh… I brought food.”
And suddenly, whatever awkward atmosphere was surrounding them is gone and Jensen laughs a little. “Yeah, I can see that.”
Jared smiles bashfully and ducks his head. “I wasn’t sure what to bring, but Thai is Tristan’s favourite and his body still craves it, so.”
“No, it’s a good idea. I love Thai.”
Jared beams.
Jared
They are sitting on Jensen’s couch, content after pigging out on delicious Thai food and pleasantly buzzed after a six pack of beer between the two of them. Jensen’s cuddled into Jared’s side and Jared can’t help but feel that this is the way things are supposed to be. That maybe the Big Guy Upstairs has a soft spot for demons who find love somewhere.
He turns his head and presses his lips to Jensen’s hair, inhaling his clean, fresh scent and sighing softly. The silence between them is nice; he’s glad they’re in this place.
Jensen breaks the silence with a quiet “Jared?”
“Yeah?” Jared whispers, smiling softly at how adorable Jensen is right now.
“Why do your eyes glow yellow when…” Jensen clears his throat and blushes. “Y’know, when.” He waves his right hand generally and Jared smiles a bit wider to himself. Jensen is really cute when he’s nervous.
“I don’t know if I can truly give a reason. It just happens when I get turned on.”
“So, hazel is normal, yellow is aroused and black is angry?”
“Basically,” Jared replies. “Hey, look at you, gettin’ all acquainted with the ins and outs of a demonic eye colour. Good for you, Jen!”
“Shut up,” Jensen says, but his words have no heat as he turns in Jared’s arms and presses a soft kiss to his lips. Jared just grins, pulling Jensen closer, licking into his mouth possessively.
Jensen pulls away much too soon for Jared’s tastes, but he curls up against his chest and Jared thinks he can forgive him this once.
That is, until Jensen takes a deep breath and says, “You have to leave…”
“What?” Jared says, feeling a wave of nausea rolling through him. His voice turns brittle with how nervous he’s suddenly become. “But… Jen… Don’t tell me you’re rethinking this…”
“No, Jay,” Jensen says, looking up at Jared with such an intense green stare that Jared feels compelled to believe him. He loves Jensen so much that it scares him. He fears that whatever Higher Power might be casting a kind eye upon him can only keep this going for so long. Sooner or later, the other shoe is going to drop and Jared will be high-tailing it right back down to Hell and taking his heart-broken wrath with him.
“It’s just,” Jensen continues, bringing Jared out of his inner musings. “I promised Chris that I’d come by tonight to discuss the newest Bible study he sent me. I have to go read it now … I tried doing it earlier but I couldn’t focus. I definitely won’t be able to focus with you here.”
“Oh.” Jared feels a bit miffed that Jensen wants him to leave just to go study some stupid Bible crap but he has to accept Jensen’s religion just like Jensen is accepting Jared’s lack thereof
“Yeah.” Jensen presses another kiss to Jared’s lips and he can’t resist kissing those plump lips back and all is forgiven once again.
Jensen pulls away so Jared can get up and he stands after him before following him to the door. They stop in front of it and Jared turns around and looks down at Jensen and pulls him close, wrapping his arms around his waist.
Jensen locks his fingers behind Jared’s neck. He licks over his lips before speaking. “I can’t love you,” he whispers. “I don’t love you.”
And it hurts. God, that really fucking hurts but Jared can’t hold it against him. He knows how much it’s taking out of Jensen just to be like this with him. “It’s okay,” he lies, voice gone rough, and lowers his head, pressing his nose to Jensen’s. “I don’t love you either.”
Jensen smiles gratefully before kissing Jared once more. Jared responds in kind: eyes fluttering shut and lips moving against Jensen’s, slow and sure and he hopes it conveys all the things he can’t find words for. Jensen whimpers brokenly right into Jared’s mouth and he swallows it, opening his mouth a little more and sliding his tongue into Jensen’s mouth.
Jensen finally pulls away. His lips are red, slightly swollen and Jared wishes he didn’t have to leave. “You should go,” Jensen says softly. Jared runs his thumb over Jensen’s plush lower lip before nodding.
“Have fun with Jesus.”
Jensen grins, pressing a chaste kiss to Jared’s lips. “Have fun with Lucifer.”
With a low chuckle, Jared assures him that he will before opening Jensen’s door. He strolls down the porch stairs and down the driveway; he can feel Jensen’s gaze burning into his back and everything tells him to look back, just one glance, but he steels himself against it and gives Jensen a little wave over his shoulder instead.
It’s not like Jensen loves him, after all.
::
When Jared gets home, it smells different. It’s an unfamiliar scentl; it reminds him of a place he no longer wants to call home. He closes the door behind him, slowly, listening to the sounds within the house. There’s the sound of breathing and he isn’t scared, just pissed that someone would dare break into his home.
He walks into the living room, eyes gone oily black and ready for a fight.
“Calm down,” he hears a female voice say. “I’ve not come to brawl.”
With a blink, Jared’s eyes return to hazel and he stops in his tracks. “Then why are you here? Who are you?”
She rises from where she had been sitting on his couch and stalks up to him. Her head tilts back as she stares up at him but the height difference doesn’t seem to intimidate her.
She has cold grey eyes and blonde hair. Jared doubts it’s natural.
“I see you’ve been getting quite attached to Father Ackles,” she says, instead of answering his questions.
Jared shudders at the way she says the name. He can feel the disgust, the loathing she puts into those two simple words. “Yeah?” he asks, puffing his chest out just a bit. “So?”
“We don’t like it,” She snarls, polite façade dropping as her own eyes turn inky black in anger. “We don’t like it one bit. Jensen Ackles is despised down in Hell, and you’re fraternizing with the enemy!”
“I don’t care!” Jared says, getting angry himself and his eyes once again flick to ebony. “And I’m not letting you wretches tell me how to live my life.”
“You’re a demon!” The other demon bites back. “You wanna know who I am? I’m Hytlȕasȫnym. Also known as Holly.” She smiles evilly “Also known as the demon who possessed his wife.”
Jared feels sick. Someone possessed Jensen’s wife? “You…”
“Oh, save it,” she scoffs, flipping her hair, eyes flicking back to gray. “You’re currently possessing his childhood love, you don’t get to lecture me about morality. You’re just like me. You’re just like all of us.”
She’s wrong. Jared knows she’s wrong. He’s not like them, not anymore. “I,” he says dangerously, “am nothing like you.” His voice lowers to a growl as he enunciates every syllable of the word. “Nothing.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Holly replies with a condescending smile. “But you’re a demon, Jared. You always will be. You think Jensen has forgotten what you are? He’ll never forget. Every time he’s with you, he’s itching to send you back where you belong. The only reason he hasn’t yet is because you’re wearing Tristan. If it weren’t for that Jensen would have sent you back down. You know I’m right.
Jared’s about to respond but Holly just keeps talking.
“And honestly, Jared. I thought you’d have more self control than this. You’ve only known Jensen for, what, four days? If so many?”
“I’ve known him since I was thirteen!” he yells at her, raising his hand and sending her flying into a wall. “I’ve loved him for over ten fucking years! I never got over him, he was it for me! And now I finally have him back, and I’m not going to let a hoard of filthy demons keep me from him! Now go, before I rip your fucking head off, you bitch.”
She smiles at him, maniacally, before cackling as she pulls herself up. “Keep up your wishful thinking, Jnȧlǫsærɨdž.” Her eyes turn black, smile evil and menacing. “Keep it up.”
And then she’s gone.
Jared staggers back, pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes tightly. What the fuck just happened? He felt all this justified anger, although he never met Jensen prior to Friday. He’s in this way too deep. It wasn’t Tristan speaking earlier. It was Jared. Pure Jared. Jared’s not sure if Tristan even exists anymore.
Jared pulls his phone out of his pocket, hands shaking, and he speed dials Chad, silently thanking Tristan for having set up the phone like this in the first place.
“Hey, Chad? Yeah, it’s me. Bring all the alcohol you have on hand, okay? Yeah, yeah. Just fucking come, Chad.”
::
“So,” Jared begins, beer, whiskey and wine slurring his words and his thoughts. “I met the demon who possessed Jensen’s wife. I think she’s gonna hurt him. Or kill him.”
“And you’re possessin’ Jensen’s childhood boytoy,” Chad says, ignoring Jared’s real concern. He hiccups as he takes another swig of bourbon. “Big fuckin’ whoop.”
“It’s not the same thing!” Jared manages to grit out angrily, his concerns momentarily forgotten in the wake of Chad’s implication, alcohol increasing his rage at his friend’s words. “I’m not hurtin’ him.”
“Really?” Chad says, eyes widening and eyeballs rolling around in their sockets, proof that he is more than pleasantly drunk himself. “Far as I know, you’re hurtin’ him more than that demon chick did. How you think he feels, Jay? How you think he’s dealin’ with knowin’ that there’s a demon inside the little boy he fell in love with back in high school, huh? Yeah, maybe that other demon killed his wife, but you… every time he looks at you he’s reminded of everything he’s lost and the fact that lil Tristan will never be the same again. Still think you’re not hurting him, Jared?”
Jared thinks back to their earlier farewell. Jensen had looked right into his eyes and told him he couldn’t love him. But surely…
“Fuck you,” Jared says petulantly as he reaches into his pocket for his cigarettes. He lights one with long fingers, elegant now that a demon is wearing this meat suit, all traces of clumsiness gone.
.
“You know I’m right,” Chad gloats.
Jared had forgotten how much sense a drunk Chad made, and how much he has always hated him for it.
::
It’s been a couple weeks since the encounter with Holly, and subsequently, a couple weeks since Jared has seen Jensen. In his mind, he justifies not seeing the other man by claiming that he wants to cool things down with him due to Holly’s implied threat. In reality, the possible truth behind Chad’s words is weighing down on his conscience.
What if Chad is right? It’s not as if Jensen has tried to contact Jared during the days he stayed away. Maybe his good-for-nothing asshole best friend has a point. Maybe he’s causing more harm than good here and all Jensen wants is to get rid of him.
Maybe Jensen’s only being nice to him because he looks like Tristan. Maybe Jensen’s still trying to find a way to exorcise him. Maybe -
Jared’s phone rings then and he’s too distraught in his thoughts to check the caller ID. “Hello?” He answers, hating how despondent his voice sounds.
“I miss you.” The voice on the other line says simply.
All of Jared’s doubts dissipate at that short sentence and he smiles quietly to himself. Dammit, Jen. “I miss you too,” he says softly, blushing at how shy he feels and in that moment, if there ever were any doubts about him and Tristan being the same person, all of them are gone. He doesn’t even feel all that demonic anymore.
“Let me take you out,” Jensen blurts out. “I want to take you out on a date. I never really got to do that with Tristan, except for that one day with the picnic and it was one of the best days of my life. I mean, like, I remember it perfectly. I mean, I know you’re not Tristan; you’re Jared but I still want to go out with you, okay? I mean, we already have the go ahead from my guardian angel, so it can’t be a bad idea, right? Jared, are you still there?”
Jared stares at the phone in disbelief. A rambling Jensen is not something he, or Tristan, is used to. Shaking his head, he brings the phone back to his ear and Jensen’s still rambling and Jared has to admit it’s kind of cute. “Hey,” he says soothingly, cutting Jensen mid-sentence. “Hey, I’d love to.”
The relief in Jensen’s voice is evident in the heavy sigh he releases into the phone. “Great,” he says, and Jared can hear his smile. “There’s this really nice restaurant in town, has amazing steak.”
"I'm lookin' forward to it," Jared says quietly. He can't really believe the turn of events; just a few weeks ago, Jensen was ready to send him back to Hell, and now he wants to go on a date with him? "What time you pickin' me up, stud?"
That makes Jensen laugh and Jared can see the man shrug in his mind's eye. "I'unno. Seven sound good? Cliché date time."
"Sounds perfect," Jared replies, smiling at Jensen's laugh.
"See you, Jay. Dress pretty."
Jensen
Jensen's hands tremble with nerves as he gets ready. He considers breaking into the pack of cigarettes he keeps on hand, just for these kinds of situations, but decides that he doesn't want to sin anymore than he already is. He just buys the smokes for the sheer temptation of having them like an emergency crutch. He told Jared to dress pretty, so he'd better do the same thing.
He picks out a pair of dark dress pants and a light green button down that brings out the colour of his eyes, Danneel bought it for him. He takes hot shower as per usual. He brushes his teeth, rinses with mouthwash and brushes his teeth again. He slips a small bottle of breath spray into the pocket of the pants, just in case. He styles his hair with just a minimal amount of hairspray and bites down on his lower lip, sucking it slightly to make it redder.
A small thrill runs through him when he contemplates going commando under his fancy pants. He figures the surprise will be good for Jared so that's what he decides to do. Once clothed, he slips his feet into his shiny black shoes, not his church ones- of course, and checks his reflection in the full length mirror in his room.
He looks good, not in a vain or immodest way, but he does.
He looks over to the dresser where a portrait of Jesus stands, staring at him. All his earlier confidence dissipates and he walks over and turns it down on its face. No matter what Misha says and how in love with Jared he is, there’s always going to be a part of him that feels incurably dirty for this.
::
He arrives at Jared's home at exactly seven o' clock. He resists the urge to pray before getting out of the car and walking up to Jared’s front door. He takes a deep breath, raising his fist to knock but it barely has time to connect with the wood before Jared's throwing the door open eagerly, big goofy smile on his face. "Hey!" he says happily.
"Hi," Jensen replies, feeling giddy joy at the exuberance on Jared's face.
"So, let's go?" Jared asks, walking out and locking the door behind him. He's heading to Jensen's car and Jensen's still reeling from the sight of Jared's smile. He's not so sure what's going on anymore.
"Hey, hey, wait!" he calls out, jogging down the porch steps until he's caught up to Jared.
"Yeah?" Jared says, smile never leaving his face. "What is it, Jen?"
Jensen reaches out, wrapping his hand around the back of Jared's neck and brings him down for a kiss. It's deep, passionate but without heat. Just kissing because they can; because they like it. Because kissing is all that needs to be done right now.
Jared's hands come to rest low on Jensen's hips, and while a shudder runs through him, it's not sexual. It's just his body's natural reaction to Jared's touch. His other arm comes up to lock loosely behind Jared's neck at as well and he relaxes fully into the kiss. Jared pulls them closer, hips flush against hips and still it's not sexual in its intention. Jensen can feel that it's just Jared wanting to be as close as possible. He presses his chest forward until not even a breeze could pass between their bodies.
When they finally part, they are still invading each other's personal space so that from far away they look like one silhouette. "Let's go," Jared murmurs, leaning his head down to nudge at Jensen's nose with his, and Jensen can't agree more.
::
The restaurant is a fancy place, filled with couples: heterosexual and homosexual alike. The lighting is soft and cozy, there's a man in a tuxedo playing a piano in the middle of the room.
Jensen looks around at all the couples in the dining area, particularly at all the homosexual ones, both men and women. He feels that twisting in his gut that he doesn't think he'll ever be completely rid of. He’s been conditioned to think that homosexuality is a heinous crime in the eyes of God and even though Misha has told him the truth, he doesn’t think he’ll ever fully accept it or himself.
Mentally shaking those thoughts off, choosing to focus on Jared and the love he feels forming for him instead, he takes Jared's hand in his and is greeted by the brightest smile he thinks Jared has ever given him. All disgust and unease he felt a second ago is now replaced by a fluttering caused by butterflies and nerves. He leads them over to the maître d's table which is commanded by a petite woman with dark blonde hair and blue eyes
"Reservation for Jensen Ackles, please."
She looks down at the laptop in front of her, clicking a few times before looking up with a soft smile. "Certainly." She picks up two menus, and steps back from the table, one arm outstretched behind her, encompassing the dining area. "Follow me, please, sirs."
They do as they are asked and she leads them to a table for two, tucked away in a small cozy corner. The candle in the middle of the table is already lit and its flame is a soft pink glow. Jensen looks at the lady with wide eyes and she smiles. "Special candle, given to all first timers." She places the menus before either chair and gives them another smile. "Your waitress will attend to you shortly," she says before walking back to her station.
Jensen glances over at Jared and catches Jared looking at him.
"What?" he asks.
"Who's pulling out the chair for who?" Jared says, small smirk forming on his lips.
"Well, I asked you out," Jensen replies. Like hell he'll let Jared pull the chair out for him.
"Yeah but you're shorter. And girlier, with your long lashes and pouty pink lips. Like, seriously, Jen, are you wearing lipstick?"
"Fuck you!" Jensen hisses, mentally cursing himself for the biting lip trick. "No I'm not. And I'm not girly."
"Whatever you say, princess," Jared replies, laughing softly before going over to pull out Jensen’s chair.
Jensen grumbles, but he can't not admit that it feels kind of good. "Well, alright, Jared," he says gruffly as he sits and Jared pushes the chair towards the table. "We'll see who's fucking who tonight. Then we can say who’s the girl."
Jared laughs full out, head tossed back and hazel eyes flashing. "Alright, Jen,"
Their waitress, another petite woman with a pretty smile and dark hair cut in a short bob, arrives just as Jared takes his seat, carrying a pitcher of cold water with ice.
"Good night," she says pleasantly. "My name is Summer, and I will be your server tonight."
“I’m Jensen,” Jensen begins. “And this is Jared.”
“Hi!” Jared greets happily.
Summer pours the water into their glasses before straightening up. "Shall I bring you the wine selection?"
“I’m more of a beer type of guy,” Jared says, grinning at the young woman.
“So am I,” Jensen agrees. “Beer would be great,we're too manly to fuss over a wine list. No offence, though, dear. I'm sure it's a high quality wine selection."
"None taken whatsoever, sir," Summer replies, polite smile turning into a more friendly grin. "I'm a beer girl myself. So, I'll just bring you a couple of our best beers?”
"Sounds terrific," Jensen replies, already feeling himself warm up to the young woman.
She smiles at them again. "I'll be back with your beer and to take your order." Turning on her heel, she walks away, hips swinging.
"Pretty," Jared comments, looking after her for a split second before turning back to Jensen with a smile. "But she looks so young, makes me feel gross. Nice rack, though."
"Jay!" Jensen exclaims but he's laughing silently. "You're incorrigible."
"I'm a demon," Jared replies easily, leaning back in his chair. "What did you expect?"
Jensen shrugs. He doesn't know the answer to that, he realizes. He has to admit that Jared complimenting a young woman is pretty harmless. Even if he feels just a little bit jealous. The quiet moment that stretches into the beginnings of an awkward silence is interrupted by Summer returning with four bottles of beer, two in each hand.
"Your beers, sirs," she says as she places two bottles of already opened beers beside each of their glasses. “Are you ready to place your orders?”
It’s only then that Jensen realizes that he and Jared never actually decided what they wanted to eat. “Um…” Jensen gives her a shy smile and he can hear Jared chuckle. “What would you recommend?”
She grins, shrugging. “The steak is our best seller, but I think I prefer the linguine alfredo with shrimp.”
“I think I’ll have the pasta,” Jared replies. “Jensen can get the steak and then we’ll share.”
Jensen can see Summer’s eyes soften and she smiles and it’s like a silent ‘awwwww’. She scribbles their order onto her notepad. “One plate of the steak and one of the shrimp pasta. Will that be all?”
The two men nod.
“Well, okay then,” she says with a smile, closing her notepad and tucking it into her pocket. “I’ll just go give the chef your orders and I’ll be back with your food as soon as possible.” She turns on her heels and walks away.
“Fucking sweet girl,” Jared gushes.
“Hey,” Jensen says playfully, reaching forward to punch Jared’s shoulder slightly. “Eyes on me, asshole.”
“Aw…” Jared begins. “Is my Jennybean gettin’ jealous?”
“Fuck you,” Jensen says, even though he kind of is.
“You wish,” Jared shoots back.
::
Their dinner is fantastic. The steak is perfectly done. The pasta is deliciously al denté and the shrimp is just as flavorful as the sauce. Summer recommends the molten chocolate fudge cake and homemade vanilla ice cream for dessert and that alone would have been enough to leave her a more than generous tip.
When Summer brings them the bill, Jensen pays enough money cover the cost of the meal and would see that Summer gets a very handsome tip. They both hug her and give her kisses on either cheek before they go, thanking her for her wonderful service.
As they leave, they’re closer than hand in hand: Jared’s hand resting on the small of Jensen’s back and Jensen’s arm slung behind Jared’s waist.
“Ready to go home?” Jensen asks as they near his car. And Jared shakes his head.
“No… I’m not ready to go home. Let’s... Let’s go crazy, let’s book a hotel room for the night.”
And as crazy as that idea really does sound, Jensen finds himself going along with it. It doesn’t make sense; they both have perfectly nice homes, but nothing about this relationship makes sense, and in the space of a minute, Jared is behind the wheel and zooming down the road to find them a hotel for the night.
Jared
The minute Jared pulls into the hotel’s parking lot, not even paying attention to the name of the place, and parks, he has Jensen out of his seat, pushed against the hood of the Impala and is kissing him as if his life depends on it. There is no chasteness to their kisses like there was earlier. No, their kisses now are tinged with hunger and arousal. Jared’s eyes flash yellow behind his eyelids and he tugs at the hem of Jensen’s shirt before slipping his fingers underneath and grazing them against Jensen’s skin.
Jensen moans at the touch, arching into it as he kisses back with just as much hunger and passion as Jared is throwing at him. He slips his fingers under Jared’s shirt as well, digging the tips of his fingers into the sharp lines of his hips. He pull away from the kiss much too soon for Jared’s liking, but more than makes up for it by leaning into Jared’s neck and fucking nuzzling. Jared can feel Jensen inhale deeply, taking in his scent, and it sends something primal shooting through Jared’s nerves.
He cries out softly at the unexpected bite to his pulse point and whimpers as Jensen soothes it with gentle sucks and flicks of his tongue. Jensen’s thumbs rub small circles into Jared’s hips and the feeling causes small tongues of euphoria to lick through his body like tiny flames.
“Room, now,” Jensen growls against Jared’s heated skin. And yeah, there’s no doubt who’s fucking who tonight.
“Okay,” Jared manages to whimper before pulling away just long enough to locate the entrance of the hotel. “C’mon, let’s go.”
They make their way to the front of the hotel, almost tripping over every step of the way as Jensen pulls him back, grinding his hips up as often as he can. Jared’s painfully hard by the time they get to the front desk and Jensen whispering dirtyhotwrongsexy things in his ear isn’t helping matters.
Jensen’s head is buried in Jared’s neck, sucking diligently to leave his mark and Jared uses this opportunity to get them a room for free. He grabs the clerk by the lapels of her shirt. She looks flushed and a little bit hopeful, probably thinking Jared’s going to invite her to join them. It’s almost laughable but he can’t do more than try to focus on getting their room and not Jensen’s mouth.
He pulls her close and breathes a little black smoke through her parted lips. Her eyes cloud over with gray and she’s almost frozen in place.
"Give us a room, free of charge," Jared whispers, biting back a moan as Jensen bites down on his neck.
The girl nods. Jared releases her and she dutifully goes to her computer and types in the required information. Eyes still clouded over with gray, she hands over two overnight keycards to a room. Jared hopes it's a nice suite. With a strained smile - Jensen's still working over his neck with his teeth - Jared takes the two cards and inhales the smoke from her.
“Thank you,” Jared says sweetly, pocketing the cards and stumbling his way to the elevators. His skin tingles where Jensen’s mouth is attached to it and his body feels torn between the rush of blood to where Jensen’s sucking firmly and the rush of blood down to his aching cock.
Jared really has no doubts about who will be topping tonight.
They finally make their way too their room and Jared pushes Jensen off just enough to unlock the door and stumble inside. It’s cold, causing goose-bumps to appear on his heated flesh. There’s no time to admire the suite; Jensen’s fingers are hooked in Jared’s belt loops and leading him to the bedroom area of the suite.
“Hey,” Jared manages, letting out a breathy exhale when the backs of his knees connect with the edge of the bed.
“What,” Jensen growls. He grabs the back of Jared’s head and brings him down for a rough kiss. Jensen bites down on the fleshy inner side of Jared’s lower lip firmly, then soothes over it with his tongue. Jared can feel that he broke the skin and he can’t for the life of himself remember what he was about to protest.
Jensen shoves him down onto the mattress, straddles his hips and cups his face with strong hands. The kiss they share is hungry, passionate, yet full of love and affection and it takes Jared’s breath away in more ways than just the one.
“Jen,” he whispers into the kiss. In that moment, he’s worried that Jensen has forgotten that Jared is Jared and is mistaking him with Tristan and that scares him and it hurts and he’s about to push him off. He stops when he feels and hears Jensen moan, breathing the sound right into him.
“Jay,” Jensen says, lapping hungrily at the drops of blood blooming from the bite on Jared’s lip and Jared doesn’t have the right sense of mind to tell Jensen not to. “Jared,” Jensen moans, right into his mouth and that sends waves of pleasure right through him and he bucks up into the hard ridge of Jensen’s cock in his jeans against his. “Wanna…” Jensen manages, his voice choked, as he pulls away from the kiss and turns his head down to latch onto Jared’s pulse point once more.
Jared lets out a shaky exhale, tilting his head back and arching his back slightly. It feels so good, so fucking good. He sobs out a moan of pleasure, begging Jensen incoherently for everything the other man wants to give him. Jensen rocks his hips down once more, the friction jolting straight up through Jared’s spine and he feels like he could come right in his pants like a teenager from the delicious feeling of Jensen grinding down on his erection.
When Jensen pulls away, Jared lets out a pitiful whine of disappointment and the shorter man gives Jared a smile darkened with sinful promises. “Shirt off,” Jensen commands, tugging on the hem of Jared’s button down. “Before I rip it off.”
And although that line is cheesy and corny and every other bad thing in the book, Jared can’t help the thrill that shoots through him and he lies back, hands still at his sides.
Jensen looks surprised for a minute before grinning dirtily. He runs his hands over Jared’s chest through the material before unceremoniously ripping the shirt open. The buttons go flying and Jared’s cock gets even more painfully hard at that sight and he files it away in his head for safe keeping.
Jensen lowers his head and licks over Jared’s chest, tonguing at his nipples. He rolls one and then the other between his teeth, sucking them into hard little peaks. Jared can’t focus on anything else. His entire world has sharpened into one Jensen shaped point.
He moves down Jared's chest to his stomach, leaving goose bumps in his wake. Jared arches up into his touch, moaning brokenly as tendrils of arousal flick up his skin. He knows his eyes will be totally glazed over with amber, he is so turned on by the priest currently going down on him. Jensen pops the button of Jared’s jeans and unzips them before pushing both the pants and Jared’s underwear down to his thighs.
"Jen," he breathes, eyes rolling back slightly when Jensen licks up the throbbing center vein of his dick. When Jensen's hot, velvet mouth slips over the head of his cock, Jared’s about ready to come right them. As it is, his hips jerk wildly, smearing precome along Jensen's tongue and the inside of his cheek. Jensen looks up at him with sin and lust and is that love? in his eyes, and locks his gaze on Jared’s.
Jared’s breath shocks out of him at the darkened jade of Jensen’s eyes. The priest before him gives a long blink, casting his gaze towards Jared’s cock, and sucking firmly.
“Jesus,” Jared grits out, hips rolling into Jensen’s mouth. “Jensen.”
Jensen smiles around his cock before pulling off, much to Jared’s dismay. However, Jensen moves down lower and rips Jared’s pants and boxers down his legs. Jared winces at the burn of the friction against his skin. Jensen returns to him then, licking up the underside of Jared’s cock before taking his licks downward and flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin of Jared’s perineum before parting his thighs fully and flatting his tongue against the puckered pink of Jared’s hole.
A full blown shock of pleasure and arousal shoots through Jared as his hips jolt upwards. Jensen growls and presses his hands to Jared’s hips, pressing him down into the mattress to keep him still as he circles his tongue around the quivering rim.
Jared can’t remember ever feeling like this when he was bottoming. Yeah, it felt good because hey, good sex is good sex, but he was never so emotionally invested in the person he was sleeping with. Everything Jensen does to him sends tendrils of raw ecstasy through his veins and he feels like this is quickly becoming too much and too little at the same time.
He pushes his hips down onto Jensen’s face, gasping. The man beneath him sucks on the rim, licking inside briefly. His eyes close as he works, kissing and sucking at Jared’s hole, making Jared quiver and slowly come undone. He licks back up to Jared’s cock, gathering the precome pooling in the slit on his tongue. The sensations peel away at Jared’s nerve endings, setting his body on edge. Suddenly Jensen’s tongue is back, nudging at his hole, pushing the gathered precome inside, slicking it up.
He presses his tongue firmly against the rim of Jared’s asshole, licking him open with brutal thrusts of his tongue. Jared can feel himself getting sloppy, dripping with Jensen’s saliva and his own precome and he needs to have Jensen inside him now or he’s going to go fucking insane.
“Jensen,” Jared pleads, hips corkscrewing down onto Jensen’s face. “Need… God, I need…”
The priest grins at him before pulling away completely. It’s pure torture as Jared lies there and watches Jensen slowly take his clothes off. He lets out a stuttered moan when he realizes Jensen has been going commando this whole time. Jared could have had such easy access this whole time! He lets out a sob of frustration and pent up pleasure and Jensen just chuckles softly at him. Jensen drapes his body over Jared’s and moves up Jared’s body slowly, sweet slick, slippery slide of dick on dick bringing Jared even closer to the edge. “Whatcha need, Jay?” Jensen growls into Jared’s ear, biting at the lobe and flicking it with his tongue.
“God,” Jared moans, hooking his legs around Jensen’s waist and pulling him close. The movement causes Jensen’s sac to graze against Jared’s wet hole and he keens, arching his back. “Get in there,” he hisses, pressing his heels into the dimples at the base of Jensen’s spine. He doesn’t even care that Jensen hasn’t gotten a chance to stretch him properly, he just wants Jensen deep inside, and now.
And Jensen laughs, the sound rough and melodical and washing straight into Jared’s senses. They kiss, slow and dirty and with tongues joining in a special dance made for them alone. “Gonna get in there,” Jensen says through a chuckle into Jared’s mouth. He slicks himself up with the stickiness of Jared’s precome by jerking both of them off in his hand before pulling back slightly.
Suddenly, Jared can feel the blunt pressure of the head of Jensen’s slicked dick pressing at his hole. His back arches in anticipation and his breathing hitches slightly. “Jen,” he whines, word cut short by a moan as Jensen rocks against him but not into where it really counts.
Jensen grunts, holding Jared’s hips firmly before bottoming out in one swift thrust. A long, low moan rips itself from Jared’s throat as all the breath in him is punched right out. He can feel Jensen; can feel him throb deep within him, can feel his balls snug against his ass, can feel his dick just barely grazing that bundle of nerves that’ll make him see stars, can feel the burn of his body opening to take Jensen in.
“Move,” Jared mutters in an embarrassing whine and Jensen obliges him with a dirty smirk.
Jensen wastes no time; he lifts Jared’s legs onto his shoulders, leaning forward and kissing him roughly as he fucks the demon in half.
Jared cries out loudly, the sound muffled by Jensen’s mouth. He drags his hands up to tangle in Jensen’s short hair, sealing their mouths together in a kiss that is more teeth and tongue than lips.
The thrusts are brutal but slow, as if Jensen is calculating each one before he executes it, angling his hips to hit every sweet spot inside Jared except for the one he needs. He writhes beneath the priest, trying to shift enough to guide Jensen’s movements himself, but the man above him just chuckles darkly, causing a burst of precome through the tip of his dick, and pins Jared to the bed with his heels.
When he finally angles his hips to where Jared needs them, it’s like euphoria courses through his veins and ecstasy through his nerve endings. Jensen pounds right into Jared’s prostate and grinds the head of his dick into that bundle of nerves. He pulls away from the kiss and latches onto Jared’s neck, sucking another mark into his skin as he claims him from the inside.
Jared was walking on the edge from before Jensen finally slid inside him and he knows he’s not going to last. “Jensen,” he whimpers, body shuddering underneath him.
He’s almost surprised that Jensen hasn’t really said anything; the only noises he’s made are moans and grunts. But he realizes that this is Tristan’s body, and the same euphoria he’s feeling, Jensen is probably feeling, having wanted this for years. It feels as if he’s been waiting his whole life for this and he knows, even if he doesn’t want to admit it, that this is more than just sex.
Jensen starts circling his hips on every inward and outward thrust and Jared loses it. With a harsh cry of Jensen’s name, he comes, shooting so hard it nearly reaches his chin. He can feel himself clamp down on Jensen’s dick, can feel Jensen’s thrusts get sporadic and rough as he drives himself to orgasm. He can feel Jensen throb, really throb deep inside him and he moans even louder when he feels Jensen come within him.
Jensen rides out his orgasm weakly, his own come inside Jared slicking the way.
When he comes down from his high, he looks down at Jared and it takes Jared’s breath away.
Jensen’s face is slack with bliss and euphoria but there’s an intensity in his eyes that scares and thrills him all at the same time. They share a sweet kiss that’s strangely chaste, considering what they’ve just done. Jensen pulls out slowly, inch by inch, and the loss that follows leaves Jared feeling exceptionally empty.
That is, until Jensen flops over on the other side of Jared, chest heaving and skin flushed with the exertion.
“Wow,” Jensen says, and Jared agrees.
Jared tucks himself into Jensen’s side, curling up to him as Jensen wraps his arms around his shivering body. “Goodnight,” Jared whispers, pressing a kiss to Jensen’s cheek.
“Goodnight,” Jensen replies and Jared can both feel and hear the other man’s smile.
He hears Jensen’s breathing slow down from its erratic pace to a more normal one. The rhythmic rise and fall of Jensen’s chest lulls him to a sense of warmth and security. He doesn’t sleep, but he feels like he’d be more than content to spend every night for the rest of his life just relaxing in Jensen’s arms. He’s never felt more protected or safe, and the fact that he’s found this with a human doesn’t faze him anymore.
He presses a lingering kiss to Jensen’s collar bone and Jensen turns his head and presses his nose to Jared’s hair.
Part Two | Part Four