Requiem Part Two
Part Two
Jared
“You’re doing what?” Chad exclaims, looking at his best friend in disbelief. “Have you gone crazy? For all you know, there’s a massive devil’s trap engraved in the very foundations of that place.” He starts pacing and Jared holds back a laugh; Chad looks stupid when he’s pacing.
“Why are you even going in there?” he says, flailing his arms. “I get that Tristan has some obsession with the guy but why are you going to put yourself in danger?”
Jared shrugs as he rummages around in Tristan’s closet for a suit. “I get off on this,” he says simply. “Call me… Jared ‘Danger’ Tristan Padalecki.”
“You’re super gay, you know that right?”
Jared turns his head to grin at his friend. He makes a kissy face at Chad before dissolving into giggles at the horrified look on his face. “Yeah, Chaddikins, I know.”
Jared picks out a navy blue suit, he’s not sure why, as he’s not that big a fan of the colour but Jensen likes how it brings out the blue in my eyes. He pauses. That sounded suspiciously like a thought instead of Tristan’s words. “Tristan?” he whispers. When he gets no answer, he shrugs and holds the suit against himself. He turns to Chad. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re getting way over your head,” Chad says with uncharacteristic concern. “I think you’re developing emotions from being with Tristan even though you’ve only recently started talking. This would never work, Jared. He’s probably looking for a way to send you back to Hell as we speak. He's going to betray you, Jare. It's only a matter of time. He's a priest, it's what they do. They don't know anything else.”
Jared flinches slightly, bites his lip, and looks down at the clothes. “I meant about the suit, Chad,” he says quietly. He knows he’s getting too attached to Jensen, but he can’t help it. Tristan seems to have bled into him and that one encounter with Jensen left Jared feeling tingly and itching to get back to him. “I can handle Jensen.”
Chad shrugs and shakes his head. “Well fine, just, I dunno. Fuck him up the ass as hard as possible then, but spare me the details. And when he breaks your heart, which he will inevitably do, don't come cryin' to me 'cause I ain't gonna give a fuck.”
Jared just smiles softly, knowing that Chad’s brief moment of actually sort of caring is over. He prefers asshole Chad; he’s easier to hang out with. “I'll remember that,” he promises. “Now go, I gotta get ready for church.”
::
Jared doesn't know how Tristan's room is suddenly replaced by a grassy knoll surrounded by green trees and rainbow flower bushes. Nor does he know how or why Chad has suddenly turned into Jensen. A really, really, young Jensen with hair that tucks behind his ears and falls loosely over his forehead. A really young, attractive Jensen that's extremely close to his face and smiling as if he's the only person that exists right now.
It finally dawns on Jared that he must be having one of Tristan's memories, but he wonders why he isn't seeing it through an outsider's eyes. His train of thought ceases once Jensen begins to speak.
"You're so beautiful," Jensen is saying, almost in awe, as Jared's attention focuses on him. "So fucking gorgeous."
"I'm not," he hears himself say, but it's in Tristan's voice. He can feel himself blush. "I'm... I'm all... too tall, and my hair's too floppy and my arms are too long and my feet are too big and -" Jared sighs, feeling how uncomfortable Tristan is in his own body.. Or is it Jared's body? He can''t tell anymore.
"No," Jensen says softly, cupping Jared's face in his hands and Jared can feel his body tingle and warm at Jensen's touch. ."God, Tristan, don't believe that and don't believe anyone if they tell you that, man." And Jensen smiles; Jared feels his insides melt a little bit. "You're goddamn beautiful. More beautiful than any of the girls and guys I know."
Jared feels his heard swell with unimaginable love for this young man who's telling him how stunning he is and he's a bit frightened. This is Tristan's memory, not his. He'd never met Jensen before Friday, he doesn't even know why he's having this memory.
"I've gotten, like, so cool since we started dating," Jared fears himself say and it's so strange because he wasn't even aware that those words were going to come out of his mouth. He feels himself smile. "I think all the girls are jealous that you even notice me. Especially today? When you came for me in class? Yeah... I could hear them talking."
Jensen grins, green eyes sparkling as he listens. "Well, fuck 'em, right Trish? You're the only girl for me." Jansen laughs softly, the sound warming Jared's skin and trickling over him water from a babbling brook.
Jensen kisses him and Jared just about melts into a puddle. It's nothing like their kisses at the club. It's tender, sweet, full of love and adoration. He feels Jensen sigh, tastes the smoky mint on his breath and wraps his arms around the older boy's neck, pulling him closer, wanting more. When Jensen pulls away, he's looking at Jared with this dazed smile on his face and Jared wonders how he could have let Tristan go. "Love you, Trish." he thinks he hehars Jensen say but it's muffled and fuzzy and he knows Tristan never caught it, not really.
The colours around him blur and fuzz out just like Jensen’s voice until Jared’s hit with a staggering bout of vertigo. He stumbles back, gasping when the feeling of movement slams to a stop and he’s standing in Tristan’s room again, holding his suit in his hand.
Chad looks at him curiously, but he barely notices it. He needs to take a shower so he hangs the suit on the doorknob of the wardrobe, finds a crisp, clean, white shirt and a pink and blue stripped tie because Never saw a guy who could rock a stupid pink and blue tie like you, Trish. I’ve seen you when you go to church on a Sunday. It’s a crime to keep you in there all fuckin’ day when I’m just home, horny; alone and wantin’ you so bad.
::
Jared almost laughs as he steps into the church. Of course, they’d be so convinced that a demon can’t walk into the ‘house of God’ that they wouldn’t bother to do the necessary rituals and artwork, if you will, to keep those same demons out. He keeps his hands in his pockets and his head tilted downwards. He’s not sure if any of the guys here might be guys he raped - but that’s such an ugly word he thinks - at the club. He knows how ‘curious’ Christian boys can be, and he doesn’t want to get kicked out just yet.
Mostly, though, people notice he’s a newcomer and are very kind to him. They shake his hand, ask God to bless him and give him sweet smiles. He knows Tristan would have liked this kind of thing. He also knows how fake it really is.
The actual service can’t start soon enough. He sits in the only empty pew, watching as the ministers or priests or deacons or what the fuck ever they are walk onto the platform and take their seats. When Jensen walks on, he sits up a little straighter, eyes glazing yellow briefly in his arousal. Damn, if that man doesn’t look downright sinful in his priest robes. The paradox of it all makes Jared snicker.
He keeps his eyes on Jensen, waiting for the man to meet his gaze. He can see the slight change in Jensen’s body language as he feels someone staring at him. Someone not of his flock but someone his body remembers. He looks up, meets Jared’s gaze. But, Jensen’s a good actor. The only thing that could give him away is the slight widening of his eyes and the conflicting emotions found in the green of them. Of course, only Jared notices because he’s the only one who’s watching.
Jensen stumbles only once throughout the service. He’s preaching about the love of Jesus and how He accepts everyone, but you need to rebuke your sin so He can fully forgive you when it happens. He makes the mistake of catching Jared’s eye as he talks. Jared licks his lips, drags his thumb across the lower one. Jensen’s breathing hitches and he stumbles on the word ‘iniquity’.
Jared laughs.
::
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jensen snarls once everyone has left. "Why the fuck would you even come here, Jared?" He shoves at Jared as if attempting to physically get him out of the church. He seems to have forgotten that Jared is a demon and Jensen can't do anything to physically get him out of anywhere. Jared's face just breaks out into a grin that's about ten degrees south of innocent and holds his hands up in the universal 'don't shoot' signal.
"Came to see you in action," Jared smiles, lowering his hands and ducking his head, all adorable Texan charm that he seems to have inherited from Tristan. "Real good job, Jen. Real convincing. No one would guess you got it up for a demon on Friday. A male demon, no less."
Jensen makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and stumbles away from Jared. "Stay away from me," he says in a pleading, broken voice, his eyes wild. "Stay the fuck away from me. You're not Tristan; you have no ties to me."
"That's where you're wrong," Jared says softly, stepping closer to Jensen, his gaze concerned. "I don't know how it happened, Jen," he says slowly, voice low and hands outstretched as if soothing a frightened animal. "But we're like one person, now. I can't tell where I end and Tristan begins. I don't even know if you can exorcise me anymore. Sending me to Hell would send Tristan down there, too. I don't think you'd want that, would you, Jen?" He's in front of Jensen now, backing him into a wall, looming over him with yellow glazed eyes. "Send your beloved Trish to Hell? Break his... our... my heart for a second time?"
Another strangled sound makes its way from Jensen's vocal chords. "I didn't mean... It's not like that... Jared, you have to leave."
"Tell me to leave," the demon replies, voice gone husky and lowered about an octave and a half. "If you really want me, and Tristan, to leave just say it. Say the exorcism rites and I won't even fight it. I'll stand here and take it. Unfortunately it'll bring Tristan down there too, but we'll take it. So do it, Jensen. If you really want us to leave then just fucking say it."
Jared's not surprised to see Jensen's eyes start shimmering with tears. "Come on, Jen." Jared grabs Jensen's shoulders, forceful now. "Send us back! I dare you!"
"I can't!" Jensen yells, completely defeated now. "I can't do it."
"Then let me kiss you," Jared pleads, voice all soft and quiet; more like Tristan. Jared can't really remember when he started feeling every bit of Tristan's emotion, but he knows if he lets Jensen get away, he'll never be able to forgive himself. "Let me show you that I am Tristan. Please, Jen. This is me saying this, I'm not trying to trick you. I don't know what happened but I know how much Tristan loved you and I feel... I don't know how I feel, Jen. But I know I have to do this for him... For us. For me."
Jensen looks so torn that Jared almost feels remorse for putting him in this situation but he knows he has to do this. Tristan's in his head, sounding very much like Jared, and he wants this. And Jared wants this and Jared's almost scared with how much he wants this. It's not even much of Tristan's influence at this point, Jared just really wants Jensen. "Please," Jared says again, voice soft, hitching on the word.
"Damn," Jensen breathes, but he reaches up and cups his hand around this back of Jared's neck and brings him in for a kiss. It's nothing like their kiss at the club. There are no tongues dancing and teeth clashing. It’s not like their kiss in Jared’s memory. It’s slow, tentative. Jensen doesn't even slip his tongue into Jared's mouth. It's almost chaste, how tender it is and Jared can't understand why he likes it so much.
They stand there: Jared's hands resting on Jensen's hips through his robe and Jensen slowly raising his arms to link his fingers behind Jared's neck. Jared lets out a soft sigh when Jensen timidly flicks his tongue out to lick over Jared's lower lip. The demon opens his mouth slightly, giving Jensen invitation and access. The priest takes it shyly, licking into Jared's mouth; remaps the planes and grooves of the roof of his mouth, the slick velvet feeling of the inside of his cheek, the ridges of his teeth.
Jared moans softly, hips canting forward to press his rapidly hardening cock to Jensen's pelvis. At Jensen's whimper, Jared moves one hand from Jensen's hip and snaps his fingers. Instantly, Jensen's priest robes are off and folded in a random pew, rosary lying neatly on them, leaving Jensen in just his shirt and a pair of pants. Jared chuckles breathily, amused by the priest's wide-eyed expression. "See? I'm not completely evil," he grins before kissing him soundly again.
"Jared," Jensen breathes, gasping when he breaks the kiss and starts sucking on his neck.
"I know, Jen," Jared replies huskily, pressing his palms to Jensen's hips. "Quit thinkin' so hard," he admonishes. "Let go." Jared kisses the flushed skin of Jensen's neck, sucking his mark into it, biting down and Jensen makes this delicious keening sound that goes straight to Jared's cock and he really can't take it anymore. He pushes his hips forward, groaning when his denim-clad erection meets Jensen's.
"We have unfinished business," he reminds Jensen while licking up to his mouth and claiming it in a bruising kiss.
"Mmm... Jared, no..." But his protest is weak and countered by the way he meets Jared's kiss eagerly, pressing his body to his.
"Forgive me, father," Jared begins, tongue flicking against Jensen's with his words. Jensen makes a strangled noise that Jared's starting to get really attracted to. "For I have sinned," he finishes, hissing out the 's' of the last word and suddenly they're in the confessional, their clothes lying in a corner of the priest's side of the room, neatly folded.
"Jared," Jensen breathes, stunned at his sudden state of nakedness. "Jared, please... Anywhere but here, Jay. I can't..."
"Your body says otherwise," Jared purrs, one hand grasps Jensen's leaking cock and the other gently pushes him down into the chair. "You want this so bad, Jen," Jared murmurs, leaning down to kiss Jensen deeply, tongues tangling in an erotic dance known only to them, as he slowly works his fist up and down Jensen’s throbbing dick.
Jensen lets out a broken moan, hips thrusting into Jared's hand of their own accord. "Take it," Jared urges, not breaking the kiss even as he starts sinking down to his knees. "You want it so bad, take it, Jen."
He cups the back of Jensen's neck; the lower he goes, the lighter his gentle touch gets as he brings Jensen's head down to facilitate the kiss. "Wanna give it to you," Jared moans against Jensen's mouth. When he breaks the kiss, Jensen makes a little sound of dismay.
Jared chuckles, pressing a kiss to Jensen's sternum. "Right here," he murmurs, kissing down Jensen's kiss and stomach. "Right now. Gonna give you what you need.”
Jensen lets out another one of those strangled noises in the back of his throat that Jared's fast getting addicted to. When Jared slips his mouth over the head of Jensen's cock, his hips jerk as if a jolt of electricity shot right through him and he whimpers sweetly, one hand going down to tangle in Jared’s hair.
“Always had a mouth on you,” Jensen says softly, looking down at Jared through half lidded eyes. “Always wanted you to suck me off so bad, fuckin’ finally.” Jared feels a swell of pride run through him, which he still finds weird because technically Jensen’s talking about Tristan, but Jared’s the one blowing him right now. He mentally shakes his head, focusing on the task at hand. He slips his mouth lower and lower, sucking firmly and basking in the glory of Jensen’s bitten off moans of need and want.
Bigger than I remember, Jared thinks and he’s not even bothering anymore to wonder why he’s thinking that instead of hearing it in Tristan’s voice. He sucks Jensen down, swallows around him. Jensen’s hips jerk, snapping forward but Jared just relaxes his throat, providing hot suction for Jensen to thrust into.
Jared scrapes his teeth gently along Jensen’s cock and the other man cries out sharply, tightening his grip in Jared’s hair. Jared grins, saliva and precome pooling in his mouth and dribbling down the sides. Jensen catches Jared’s gaze and groans roughly. “Damn,” he mutters. “So filthy, such a slut for me Tr- Jared.”
A shiver runs through Jared’s body and he finally gets a hand on himself. Jensen recognizing him as Jared and not Tristan rubbed him in all the right ways and he moans around Jensen’s cock as he strokes himself. He sucks Jensen’s cock eagerly, anything he can't fit in his mouth, he strokes with his free hand, spit and precome slicking the way.
Jensen’s writhing beneath him, recalling memories and replacing Tristan’s name with Jared’s and making Jared’s cock weep in his hand. Jared rolls Jensen’s balls in his palm, his large hand big enough to fit both of them at the same time. He squeezes them and caresses them until he can feel them tighten in his hand, signaling how close Jensen is to orgasm.
In a moment of daring, he trails that hand down, slipping a spit slicked finger between Jensen’s thighs and rubbing upwards until he finds the puckered rim of his entrance. He presses his finger down on the fluttering rim just as he flicks his tongue over the slit of Jensen’s dick, sucking firmly.
As Jared presses his finger to Jensen’s hole, Jen’s whole body jolts then freezes, and then he’s coming. Thick, hot ropes of come coat Jared’s tongue and he swallows it all down, coming shortly after with a few twists to the head of his dick. He’s moaning around Jensen’s pulsating cock as Jensen cries out, breathing heavily and saying Jared’s name over and over again.
Slowly, once Jensen has started to become limp in his mouth, he pulls off. He kisses back up Jensen’s body kissing him deeply once he reaches his mouth. “See?” he whispers, slipping his tongue into Jensen’s mouth and whining softly when Jensen’s tongue flicks out to lick at threads of come still on Jared’s tongue. “I am Tristan. Only… A bit better.”
“Yeah,” Jensen agrees dazedly, sucking Jared’s tongue into his mouth. “Fuck. Yeah. Jared.”
Jared pulls away and he knows his eyes must be glowing yellow right now. Jensen looks at him quizzically but he shakes his head. He smiles down at the man beneath him and kisses him again, sweet and tender, like Tristan used to. Even while he’s kissing him, he snaps his fingers.
Suddenly he’s fully clothed and back in Tristan’s room, the taste of pure Jensen still on his tongue. He sits on the edge of the bed and hangs his head, hiding his face in the palms of his hands.
Jensen
Jensen thanks his lucky stars, the scant few he seems to have left, that whatever magic Jared used to disappear right before his eyes also reclothed him. He looks around the confessional booth, the smell of sex still hanging in the air. His hands shake as it fully sinks in just how badly he’s deviated from the path he’d chosen when he enrolled in the seminary. He just had sex in the confessional, in the place where he directly absolved men’s sins before God. Not only that, he had sex with a male demon.
Guilt and disgust worm their way around his heart. His whole body starts shaking and only when he sees small drops of moisture on his hands does he realize he’s crying.
How could he let himself be so grossly tempted? How could he let himself yield to that temptation? Sure, Jared may look like Tristan, but ultimately he isn’t, right? Jensen doesn’t know what to think anymore. Jared sounds and feels just like Tristan. He barely got to see the kid grow up so how is he supposed to know what Tristan would be like once he reached adulthood?
With trembling hands, he clasps the rosary hanging from his neck. He forms the words of his prayer before he can speak them. Is this how Jesus Christ felt on the cross? So totally and irreparably separated from The Father… is this how the Messiah felt? Jensen has never felt truly worthy to come before God with his petty requests; right now he feels like the lowest scum of the Earth. How can God even listen in to his prayer?
He remembers how in the Bible, the tax collector found courage to come before God and confess his sins and from that he draws courage. Hands clasped so tightly around his rosary it hurts, he begins to pray.
His voice breaks halfway through the preliminary Hail Mary and he decides that in this moment in time, what he really needs to do is plead with God to give him answers; advice.
Because, right now, he’s not Father Ackles. He’s Jensen Ross Ackles, a lowly mechanic who was born in Texas and made a fuck-load of mistakes.
“Dear God,” Jensen begins and he feels so awkward but he’s confused and scared and he needs God to answer him. He pauses, he needs to be sure that God is there, listening to him despite how bad he’s messed up. “Are you there, God?” he says in a meek voice, hands trembling so violently his rosary vibrates. “It’s me, Jensen Ackles. I’m sure You’ve noticed but, I’m kind of… I don’t know what to do.”
His voice cracks and he breaks down in tears again, heart-wrenching sobs that rack his entire body. “It’s Tristan, he’s Tristan and yet he’s not… And God… I loved Tristan so much. I was only seventeen but I know I did. I loved him so damn much but I let him go… I let him go! I broke his heart, his naïve, beautiful thirteen year old heart and I did it for You!” He’s screaming now, standing, looking up at the ceiling of the small room and mentally demanding that God make shit clearer.
“Is this some twisted joke? I let him go, the boy I fell in love with all those years ago, so I can follow You, and You bring him back into my life as a fucking demon?!” Tears of grief become hot tears of anger as he challenges the God he’s spent so many years of his life serving.
“This isn’t fair!” he yells, fingers curling into fists and he kind of wishes God were a human so he could punch his lights out. “This isn’t fucking fair, okay? For years before I met Danneel I wished I was still with him, but I couldn’t go back because being with him would have been an abomination, and after I was finally taught about You, I couldn’t go back there.” His voice hitches as the grief returns.
“Now he’s here, he’s back, in my life. And he’s so beautiful, God, he’s so beautiful. Why are You doing this to me? Did I do something wrong? What could I have done to deserve this? The most beautiful boy.” His heart hurts, it’s throbbing violently in his chest and the room’s spinning and all he can see is Jared’s hazel eyes twinkling all sorts of colours at him. “And he’s back! But he’s a fucking demon!” A hysterical laugh bursts from Jensen’s mouth as he sits on the chair, holding his head in his hands.
“I hoped it wouldn’t be him. I hoped that that fuckin’ divine boy wouldn’t be possessed by one of the Evil One’s minions but I can’t believe… I can’t believe You let him get possessed! And I want him so bad…” Jensen sobs hysterically into the palm of his hands as the gravity of the situation truly hits him.
“I love him so much, and I want him so bad and I need some fucking answers from You! Is this some kind of twisted test? Trying to test my loyalty to You? Well, I can’t do it! I fail okay? I’m a fucking failure! I want Jared. I wanted Tristan and I lost him because of You and now he’s back but he’s a demon and I don’t think I fucking care anymore! I don’t!”
But I kinda really do, Jensen thinks.
He doesn’t register the shaking, thinking it’s his own body trembling, until he sees the sculpted crucifix that hangs on the wall fall to the floor and shatter. Earthquake! He thinks and suddenly he’s terrified. Maybe God has had enough of him and his screw-ups and this is His way of killing him. Almost instantly, the room fills with bright silvery light that hurts his eyes. Shit, he thinks desperately. I’ve really called down the wrath of God.
The sound of piercing feedback and muffled static fills his ears and it causes him actual pain; he feels it through his bones. He covers his ears with his palms and squeezes his eyes shut. He can still see the light behind his eyelids and it glows a Hellish red through the skin. The shaking seems to reach a maximum and Jensen can feel his teeth vibrating and grating on each other.
This is how I die, he thinks dismally. He mentally apologizes to Jared even though he’s not too sure why: it’s Jared’s fault he’s in this position anyway.
The light behind his eyelids starts to flash and it’s still so fucking bright that he can see the outline of a man. Jesus! he wonders and he’s not sure if he’s swearing or acknowledging the fact that it could very well be the Son of God standing before him.
He forces his eyes open, hissing at the pain of the blinding light. Sure enough, there’s a man, but it doesn’t look like the Jesus to which he’s accustomed. He’s wearing a trench coat and a blue tie and behind him, Jensen can make out the black shadow of massive… wings. The image is cut halfway through, as if the confessional cannot contain the full expanse of his wingspan. For a brief moment, Jensen wonders if it extends out into the church.
Mesmerized, and more than a little terrified, Jensen stares at the stranger. His head is tilted downwards, hiding his face. But, slowly, as if sensing Jensen’s eyes on him, he begins to raise his head; the light dims but only marginally. His mouth is moving and Jensen lowers the hands that cover his tender ears so he can hear what this… whatever he is… has to say.
“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition,” the stranger says in a low gravelly voice. His eyes glint icy blue in the silvery light.
And Jensen is a whole lot terrified now. “What?!” he croaks. Was he honestly so far gone from God that he had been eternally damned, despite his repentance? He pauses… his… quasi repentance?
And the man laughs, positively cackles, and suddenly the room is back to normal, the crucifix hangs as if it has never been broken and he’s no longer wearing a trench coat and tie. He’s wearing a tie-dyed shirt and khakis. “Nah,” he says in between bouts of laughter. “I’ve just always wanted to say that.” He grins. “I’m Misha! I’m your Guardian Angel, dude!” He says guardian angel as if the ‘g’ and the ‘a’ are capitalized.
Jensen is shocked into silence. “My what?” he croaks out once he recovers. He’s never thought about the fact that he might have a guardian angel, much less be able to meet him. But of course, he’s about to die and face the wrath of God, so maybe this is Heaven’s last regards.
“I’m sure I didn’t stutter,” Misha says cheerfully, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I come bearing news from God.”
“I… but…” Jensen swallows, taking in the carefree attitude of his supposed guardian angel. “Am I going to die?” He splutters and Misha laughs again.
“Yeah,” he says offhandedly. “In probably another forty years,” he grins brightly at Jensen’s stunned expression. “But not today. Why are you asking?”
“I…” Jensen takes a deep breath. “I’m a filthy sinner.” Jensen sighs dejectedly, hanging his head. It’s almost as if he can feel the holy radiating off Misha and it’s starting to physically hurt. “I deserve to be punished in the most destructive way. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I know it can’t be right…. I’m… I’m literally having an affair with a male demon.” Whatever was keeping him from going hysterical finally snaps. “A male demon!” he yells, hopping up to stand and pacing, frantically tearing at his hair. “A demon is bad enough but he’s also a man!”
“Yo, man,” Misha drawls, looking entirely unimpressed. “You’ll give yourself an ulcer. Just chill.”
“How do you expect me to chill!” Jensen screams at Misha, hands flailing madly. “I’m having a fucking affair with a male fucking demon! How on earth can this possibly end well?”
He pauses, Danneel’s demon was right. “I’m going straight to Hell,” he says. Fear clenches his heart, squeezing and constricting and it’s so hard to fucking breathe. “I can’t go to Hell,” he pleads with Misha. “I can’t. I can’t! I have to see Danny again! I can’t go to Hell, I need help, I know I do. But damn…. I don’t wanna give up Tristan…. Jared…. Again. Fuck, I barely even know who I’m talking about. But I don’t want to give either of them up.”
The tears return, pricking at the backs of his eyes, and he sits on the chair, bending and hiding his face in his hands. “I can’t… Misha, I can’t…”
“Are you always this dramatic?” Misha asks, Jensen looks up and can see the angel regarding him warily. He laughs a little. He’s always prided himself on being a rational, unemotional man. Well, fuck, that was before Jared stormed into his life.
“Not normally,” he admits. He hiccups before he can continue. “I just. I can’t do this, or anything, anymore. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. I can’t give Jared up. Not again.”
“Oh,” Misha says before breaking out into a bright smile. “Well, in that case, I have good news!”
JaredNight has fallen and Chad is out fucking as many tight, barely-legal pussies as he can. He’d asked Jared to join him. There was sure to be a ton of ass out tonight, he’d told him. Jared could be out all night if he wanted. But Jared turned him down, claimed he was tired. Chad had given him a really funny look but Jared didn’t offer any explanations and Chad didn’t ask.
Truth is, Jared’s been worrying himself sick by thinking that he probably fucked up all of Tristan’s… his… chances with Jensen. He’s been sitting on Tristan’s sofa, eating a tub of Rocky Road and watching Queer as Folk for the past few hours but nothing is getting his mind off Jensen.
He can’t believe he made Jensen get his dick sucked in the fucking confessional of all places! Of course, Jensen’s body had really wanted it, but maybe his conscious brain did not. Maybe now that he’s had time to think about it he’ll come to the conclusion that he hates Jared and by extension Tristan. The sorrow that runs through Jared at that thought is a very real thing and it scares him. He’s never had emotions this strong before but then again he’s never bonded with a human’s mind before either.
“I’m sorry, Tristan,” he whispers, but even as he’s saying it, he knows it is futile because him and Tristan have probably fully merged by now.
He’s nearing his last spoonful of ice cream when the doorbell rings. He figures it’s probably Chad coming back because he didn’t get any action after all. The friendly insult dies instantly on his lips when, as he opens the door, his gaze falls upon Jensen.
His mouth opens and closes for a few moments out of pure surprise before he can say something. “Wha…”
He never said he was completely coherent.
Jensen smiles softly at him, a blush colouring his cheeks as he rocks back on his heels. “Uh, hi, Jay. I found your address in the telephone book.” He rubs the back of his neck and something deep in Jared tells him that this is something Jensen does when he’s feeling really nervous. “Tristan Padalecki’s still listed.” He continues.
“Um. What are you doing here?” Jared could slap himself for how it comes out. He’s just ruining his chances of getting Jensen back. He can see Jensen shut down, face turning blank and he hurries to rectify it. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he gushes. “I mean… After what happened today in church. I thought you’d hate me.”
Jensen looks up to meet Jared’s gaze. “I don’t hate you, Jared,” he murmurs. He steps forward and brings Jared’s head down to kiss him timidly.
Jared’s eyes widen before he relaxes into the kiss. He pulls Jensen in close to his body, bringing him into the house and closing the door behind him. He presses Jensen against the back of the door, hands sitting low on his hips, licking into his mouth hungrily.
There’s a different flavour to Jensen now. Jared can somehow taste the willingness on him. Jensen’s no longer fighting it and for a minute Jared wonders why but the majority of his coherent thought is chased away by Jensen’s tongue until the only thing he can manage to think is ‘Jen. Bedroom. Inside him. Now.’
Muscles flexing beneath tanned skin, Jared hoists Jensen up against the door, Jensen takes the hint and wraps his legs around Jared’s waist. Jensen cups Jared’s face as he kisses him desperately and Jared holds him close, hands grasping his ass, as he walks them to Tristan’s… well his now, bedroom.
He can’t really believe he’s going to have Jensen like this: without having to convince him or take advantage of his body’s reactions. Jared kicks the door to the room open then kicks it back closed behind them. Jensen’s tongue is a constant presence between his lips, licking in with such a desperate edge and running over his teeth and tangling with Jared’s tongue; Jared can’t understand the emotions he’s feelings at the moment. His heart feels like it’s going to explode but in the best way and it’s not just because of his arousal.
He gently lays Jensen on the bed, biting his lip as he takes in his disheveled appearance. His hair is already a little tousled and his shirt hiked up his stomach, displaying a tantalizing expanse of golden skin. “Dammit, Jen,” he breathes; it’s almost like a prayer.
Jensen blushes and smiles shyly. “C’mere,” he says quietly and who’s Jared to refuse? Jared pulls off the t-shirt he was wearing and crawls over Jensen’s waiting body. Jensen wraps his arms around Jared’s neck and pulls him down for a kiss. It’s the sweetest one they’ve shared so far and Jared wonders what happened to change Jensen’s mind. He doesn’t spend too much time on that thought, though, as Jensen does this sinful thing involving the tip of his tongue and the underside of Jared’s that sends a pulse of blood down to his aching cock that leaves him dizzy.
They kiss through their need to breathe, hands starting to roam everywhere. When they break apart, it’s not to obtain some much-needed oxygen, but just to get Jensen’s shirt off.
Once Jared gets rid of the offending piece of clothing, he slips his hand between them to get rid of Jensen’s belt. They can’t get each other naked fast enough and Jensen makes these little whimpers of frustration when in their haste they tangle their belts together.
Jared chuckles breathlessly, cursing the damned thing he tells Jensen to pause. “We’ll never get them off if we continue like this, Jen,” he says softly, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips. He keeps the green eyed man occupied by kissing him deeply as he slowly works the belts untangled and undone. “There we go.”
Jensen growls beneath him and bucks his hips against Jared’s. Jensen scrabbles at Jared’s jeans and the demon pulls away just long enough for them to get their pants off. Jensen fucking went commando. Jared’s mouth waters at the thought of having such easy access.
Jared’s cock is already achingly hard and leaking copious amounts of precome as he lowers his head to kiss Jensen again. He thinks he could spend every single day of his life kissing Jensen; that’s a damned long time.
Jensen moans against his lips as he lifts his hips to rut against the crease where Jared’s hip meets his thigh. Jared lets him do that for a bit before pulling away. “Nuh, uh uh,” he admonishes, pressing a kiss to Jensen’s earlobe. “I’m gonna fuck you, Jen. Don’t want you comin’ by ruttin’ against me like a teenager.”
Jensen makes one of those choked moans that Jared has come to crave. “Want you to, Jay,” he whines, reaching for Jared to bring him back down. Jared truly can’t believe that this is the same Jensen he sucked off in the confessional earlier. The man is completely pliant and willing in his arms, like he’s had a complete change of heart. Not that Jared’s really complaining.
Jared reaches over Jensen open the bedside drawer and pull out a tube of lube. He can hear Jensen’s breath hitch as the other man watches him with darkened emerald eyes. Jared smiles to himself as he opens the tube with a soft click and pours the chilly, sticky liquid over his fingers.
He gently spreads Jensen’s thighs with his knee before slipping a hand down to press his slicked index finger to Jensen’s hole.
Jensen’s body quivers and jerks suddenly at the cold press and Jared coos to soothe him. “It’s okay, Jen,” he says quietly, pressing his finger against the muscle and running it around the rim. “Just breathe, baby. I gotcha. I gotcha.” When he feels Jensen relax a bit more, he presses his finger in more firmly, breaching the first ring of muscle. Jensen’s back arches and a keening moan slips from his throat.
Jared bites his lip as Jensen clenches around his finger. “Jesus,” he grits out, unable to move his finger to stretch Jensen out. “God, Jen. Loosen your grip a bit?”
Jared looks up at Jensen’s face just in time to see the man blush and he laughs a little, leaning over to kiss him. “It’s alright, I was kiddin’. But, you really need to relax, okay, babe? Relax.”
Jensen whimpers into Jared’s mouth and he does as he is told, relaxing his body. Jared grins as he starts moving his finger in and out of Jensen shallowly. The noises Jensen makes go straight to Jared’s cock and he aches to be inside of him. He’s wanted this for years… Jared has long given up trying to distinguish himself from Tristan now. When Jensen’s stretched enough, Jared adds a second finger and starts scissoring them as he moves his fingers in and out of Jensen’s hole.
Jensen writhes beneath Jared, moaning and whimpering the demon’s name and tightening around his fingers. Jared hastily adds a third finger, working them in and out of Jensen, crooking them just right and eliciting a burst a precome from Jensen’s dick and a keening moan from his lips.
Jared can’t take it anymore. With one last press to Jensen’s prostate, he withdraws his fingers. He pours some lube into his palm and slicks it over his raging erection. He hisses at the sensation, twisting his fist over the flushed red head once before wiping the excess over Jensen’s quivering hole with his fingers.
Jared slips between Jensen’s legs, lining his cock up with Jensen’s asshole. “Ready for me, Jen?” Jared asks quietly, pressing the head of his dick to Jensen’s stretched hole.
“I…” Jensen swallows thickly before meeting Jared’s gaze. “Shouldn’t you put on a condom?”
Jared pauses then has to laugh quietly. “Oh, babe. I’m a demon remember? I don’t have the blood that a virus needs to survive, sweetie.”
Jensen seems to pale at that but he nods, spreading his legs a little wider. Jared takes that for the invitation it is and slides all the way home. His breath feels like it’s been punched out of him when his senses are assaulted with the tight heat of Jensen’s body around his dick. In the back of his mind, he registers that Jensen’s moans of intense pleasure are tinged with pain but all he can focus on in this moment is Jensen’s ass around his cock. It’s searing hot inside Jensen and Jared so deep inside him with every breath Jensen takes.
“Move,” Jensen hisses, breath coming in short pants. “Dammit, Jay, move.”
Jared isn’t coherent enough to even contemplate a verbal response so he settles for a jerky nod before pulling out. He lets the very tip of his cock linger at the rim of Jensen’s hole before pushing in roughly once more.
Beneath him, Jensen’s writhing on the length of Jared’s cock, begging for more and wrapping his legs around Jared’s waist. His bow-legs are perfect for hooking around Jared’s hips and drawing him in deeper. Jared moans lowly as he hits a different angle within Jensen that feels just as good to Jensen as it does to Jared. He grabs Jensen’s hips, he’s going to have bruises tomorrow, and lifts them just so and Jensen screams Jared’s name.
Jared huffs out a little laugh. “That’s it, Jen.” He pulls back and thrusts into that same spot, building up speed until Jensen’s a wrecked mess underneath him and Jared’s cock is almost a constant pressure on Jensen’s prostate.
It’s better than anything Jared could have ever imagined. Jensen’s fucking beautiful beneath him and the tight velvet sheathing his dick is almost too much for him to handle. He’s going to come soon, he just knows he is. Jensen’s searing heat seems to suck Jared in, pulsing in tandem with Jared’s throbbing cock.
“Jared!” Jensen cries out, and Jared knows he’s getting close too. He speeds up his thrusts, wanting Jensen to come on his dick alone.
“Come for me, baby,” Jared manages to coo through breathless pants. “Come on my cock like the slut you are. You’re so dirty aren’t you?” Jared leans forward to kiss Jensen passionately as he fucks into him brutally. He trails his kisses to Jensen’s neck, reveling in the broken and greedy moans Jensen makes.
“You want everyone to think you’re so pure but what you really need is a thick cock up your ass isn’t it?”Jared growls. He slows his thrusts down, reluctantly, to facilitate his speaking. He compensates by sucking a purple mark of possession into Jensen’s neck as he talks. “And not just any thick cock, right? Mine. Specifically mine. Not even Tristan’s anymore, mine.”
He bites down firmly on the pulse point of Jensen’s neck and that does it. Jensen comes between them with a choked off scream; Jared can feel Jensen’s dick pulsing against him, can feel the thick, hot strands of pearly white come as it lands on his stomach and chest.
What sends him over the edge, though, is the feeling of Jensen getting impossibly tight, sohotsotightohfuckfuckfuck, around his dick. Jensen seems to get even hotter from the inside, positively scorching, simultaneously squeezing and rippling all around his dick and with a rough groan and one last thrust into Jensen’s body, Jared comes deep inside him.
His vision whites out and loud static fills his ears as euphoria and ecstasy course through his veins. He rides out his orgasm weakly, completely spent now. When he comes down from his high just enough to think clearly, Jared pulls out slowly, smoothing his hands over the bruises starting to blossom on Jensen’s hips as Jensen moans at the loss.
Jared flops onto his back next to Jensen. The human beside him breathes in deeply once, twice, before turning and curling into Jared’s side.
With a heart burning with utmost love for this man, Jared pulls him even closer, wrapping his arms around him. As Jensen falls asleep, Jared tilts his head to watch him, a slow smile appearing on his lips.
Part One | Part Three