Recovery
Something I've been noticing about this recovery I'm going through is how drawn out it is. After the surgery, I was pretty much in pain, everything hurt and there was lots wrong with me so that I couldn't move very well. However, I noticed that I was bouncing back from it. I was ill, yes, and with that taken into account, I was doing OK.
But the recovery seemed to drag a lot out of me such that I can look back and I can see how much stupider I was. That's one of the scary things, waking up, knowing something is wrong but not even being able to think it through. I hadn't quite realised how much I take my ability to think things through for granted, until it was gone. I kept waiting for my brain to process how I was feeling, and it never quite did.
The infections then played their part. Any time I started to get better, I got a lot worse again, very quickly, and there was another recovery period. Each one seems to have gotten longer and longer and required more and more energy and the brief bits of lucidity I have between each section are all the more precious because I know they won't seem to last.
This leads me on to this recovery. It's going a lot, lot slower than the others. I feel like I've used up an awful lot of energy in all the other recoveries and now I'm spent. I can't even sit for long periods of time without it exhausting me. How basic is sitting?
However, I haven't gotten any more infections and I have had a root cause diagnosed for what I'm going through. It's been fixed and I feel a lot better for that. It's nice to know that there was something wrong and to have people take it seriously. I don't really know why, but the medical people really didn't seem to take it seriously, but now it's a lot better. Even my parents seem to know something isn't quite right. So although this recovery is slow, I have the hope that it's the last bit I need to do, which is what's getting me through this.
But the recovery seemed to drag a lot out of me such that I can look back and I can see how much stupider I was. That's one of the scary things, waking up, knowing something is wrong but not even being able to think it through. I hadn't quite realised how much I take my ability to think things through for granted, until it was gone. I kept waiting for my brain to process how I was feeling, and it never quite did.
The infections then played their part. Any time I started to get better, I got a lot worse again, very quickly, and there was another recovery period. Each one seems to have gotten longer and longer and required more and more energy and the brief bits of lucidity I have between each section are all the more precious because I know they won't seem to last.
This leads me on to this recovery. It's going a lot, lot slower than the others. I feel like I've used up an awful lot of energy in all the other recoveries and now I'm spent. I can't even sit for long periods of time without it exhausting me. How basic is sitting?
However, I haven't gotten any more infections and I have had a root cause diagnosed for what I'm going through. It's been fixed and I feel a lot better for that. It's nice to know that there was something wrong and to have people take it seriously. I don't really know why, but the medical people really didn't seem to take it seriously, but now it's a lot better. Even my parents seem to know something isn't quite right. So although this recovery is slow, I have the hope that it's the last bit I need to do, which is what's getting me through this.