Feeling Frazzled
Since about Friday last week, I've locked myself away from the world and just curled up in a ball and not talked to anyone. I feel bad a bit because I promised that I might meet a few people during that time and instead of saying yes or no, I just went quiet. It's not like me really.
I'm not really happy. I can't really do this transitioning thing. Without my counsellor I'm not very stable. I don't have anyone to particularly talk to. The people I'd like to talk to are busy when I'm free and I'm free when they're busy. The people who use me for support are always free to talk to me, but I don't really get anything back. I wish I had someone to talk to who actually understood me. As it is, I have lots of people who understand bits of me and it's a lot of effort to keep things sensible and try to balance myself out and, again, at the moment, it's only usually people from a particular grouping who want to spend time with me.
I'm pretty much emotionally exhausted, so I'm trying to curl up into a ball and wait until I can cope with the world again. I've also got a holiday with my parents in Berlin for four days coming up very soon. I hope that'll be nice and make my life easier.
I'm not really happy. I can't really do this transitioning thing. Without my counsellor I'm not very stable. I don't have anyone to particularly talk to. The people I'd like to talk to are busy when I'm free and I'm free when they're busy. The people who use me for support are always free to talk to me, but I don't really get anything back. I wish I had someone to talk to who actually understood me. As it is, I have lots of people who understand bits of me and it's a lot of effort to keep things sensible and try to balance myself out and, again, at the moment, it's only usually people from a particular grouping who want to spend time with me.
I'm pretty much emotionally exhausted, so I'm trying to curl up into a ball and wait until I can cope with the world again. I've also got a holiday with my parents in Berlin for four days coming up very soon. I hope that'll be nice and make my life easier.