(no subject)
I reached a point last night where I was ready to give up on everything and let all the failures of the past 3+ months swallow me, along with all t he good I've done (or tried to do) along the way. It was... black.
Things are looking better by the light of morning and I'm renewing my efforts to find a job, as well as holding off on canceling/cutting back my class schedule just yet (I have until Jan 6th), but to be honest it still feels pretty grim. Household tensions are growing, like the always seem to do when money is uncertain and everyone is scared and frustrated. No one's to blame, really, but it certainly does make everything that much more upsetting.
I'm starting to finally feel as though I've become invisible to my friends and family. All those years of being too busy or scared to reach out are coming back to bite me now. I think that feeling and the paranoia of it are bleeding over into my job search. I check my e-mail and phone constantly to make sure they're working, thinking that surely SOMEONE from all the jobs I've applied for must be trying to contact me... But in 3 months I've had 3 interviews and nary a nibble of anything else.
I wish I had a dynamic closer to bring this all together in a nice bundle of trepidation topped with my remaining hope, but I've got nothing. Not right now, not today. I'm just going to finish submitting some apps for some civil service jobs and see where (if anywhere) that gets me. I could always teach art at Graterford (State Prision).
Things are looking better by the light of morning and I'm renewing my efforts to find a job, as well as holding off on canceling/cutting back my class schedule just yet (I have until Jan 6th), but to be honest it still feels pretty grim. Household tensions are growing, like the always seem to do when money is uncertain and everyone is scared and frustrated. No one's to blame, really, but it certainly does make everything that much more upsetting.
I'm starting to finally feel as though I've become invisible to my friends and family. All those years of being too busy or scared to reach out are coming back to bite me now. I think that feeling and the paranoia of it are bleeding over into my job search. I check my e-mail and phone constantly to make sure they're working, thinking that surely SOMEONE from all the jobs I've applied for must be trying to contact me... But in 3 months I've had 3 interviews and nary a nibble of anything else.
I wish I had a dynamic closer to bring this all together in a nice bundle of trepidation topped with my remaining hope, but I've got nothing. Not right now, not today. I'm just going to finish submitting some apps for some civil service jobs and see where (if anywhere) that gets me. I could always teach art at Graterford (State Prision).