There is no J in V-Day.

[synabetic]

*ring*

"H&B Emporium, how may I help you?"
"Hi, honey! Happy Valentine's Day."
"Yeah. VD. Happy."
"Oh, you don't like Valentine's Day?"
"I thought we didn't really get into it."
"Well, yes. You're right. I shouldn't pick up anything yummy to eat after work, then."
"Did I say that I didn't like Valentine's Day?! Did I?? I -love- Valentine's Day! We need to celebrate just how awesome of a wife you are!"
"We'll come up with any excuse to eat good food, won't we."
"Yeah. It's what some remote, lost tribes call love."
"I love food."
"I love food, too."

And this is how the West was won, kids.