I have to update...
*My mom can't pay for UM any more.
*My mom won't pay for me to stay at FSU, even the 300 fee to ensure housing where I wish to live [she wants me to live somewhere else. So I am supposed to go to a college I never wanted to go to and live in a hellhole? I am only going to live with my friends. They are the sole compensation for going from the number one school on my list to a school that was number one on my shitlist].
*My mom never let me have a job ever so I really never raised money, I don't know where she thinks I am getting 6K for my living arrangements... [and yet she paid 20K for me to go here...... eh?!]
*My mom never, ever taught me how to or allowed me to drive.
Ultimately, I am fucked. I have come to terms with the idea of leaving the one place I ever wanted to be, after it fell short of my dreams of how it should be... and yet, I am supposed to sacrifice more. She won't let me go here, or there, or drop out. So, not only is she planning my life for me, BUT SHE'S DOING IT POORLY.
I could cry with the amount of regret I feel for never learning to drive and never having a real job. I am completely unprepared to enter a real and competetive world [unlike her dead-end job she's had for 15 years and still doesn't make squat at because she never wanted to do HS or college.......]
If she couldn't manage her own life, why is she trying to manage mine? SABOTAGE!
And after all, UM is seriously working out for me now. I have a social life, friends, and I am actually making connectios! :( Why is this happening to me?
What is my purpose, even? I can't even get to a regular college... Why is this happening to me?
Do you know how hard I worked in HS? Always top of the class, man... Always over working, never going out never having a job. I did calculus for fun, dammit!
I can't understand this, and I do not know which is the next step to take. I don't even... I mean I would randomly choose an option at this point, if only I knew what my options were.
I have been applying for jobs. I haven't gotten one but... I guess I am continuing with the attempts.
--Update.... my current roommate just completely offered for me to move into the University Village with her. The best way I can explain the UV is "paradise." Completely furnished, completely amazing... just the best of the best and it's cheaper than... well, anything.
I HAVE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES I CANNOT ACHIIIIEVE!
[A free ride.. but I already paid. Exactly.]
And I can't just leave Mike and Dan there at FSU after I said I would commit so... Really I just need to find money ASAP.
Life.
-Samantha
PS IF ANYONE IS HIRING I AM SO HERE. REAL JOB A PLUS, ...PROSTITUTION A MAYBE!
*My mom won't pay for me to stay at FSU, even the 300 fee to ensure housing where I wish to live [she wants me to live somewhere else. So I am supposed to go to a college I never wanted to go to and live in a hellhole? I am only going to live with my friends. They are the sole compensation for going from the number one school on my list to a school that was number one on my shitlist].
*My mom never let me have a job ever so I really never raised money, I don't know where she thinks I am getting 6K for my living arrangements... [and yet she paid 20K for me to go here...... eh?!]
*My mom never, ever taught me how to or allowed me to drive.
Ultimately, I am fucked. I have come to terms with the idea of leaving the one place I ever wanted to be, after it fell short of my dreams of how it should be... and yet, I am supposed to sacrifice more. She won't let me go here, or there, or drop out. So, not only is she planning my life for me, BUT SHE'S DOING IT POORLY.
I could cry with the amount of regret I feel for never learning to drive and never having a real job. I am completely unprepared to enter a real and competetive world [unlike her dead-end job she's had for 15 years and still doesn't make squat at because she never wanted to do HS or college.......]
If she couldn't manage her own life, why is she trying to manage mine? SABOTAGE!
And after all, UM is seriously working out for me now. I have a social life, friends, and I am actually making connectios! :( Why is this happening to me?
What is my purpose, even? I can't even get to a regular college... Why is this happening to me?
Do you know how hard I worked in HS? Always top of the class, man... Always over working, never going out never having a job. I did calculus for fun, dammit!
I can't understand this, and I do not know which is the next step to take. I don't even... I mean I would randomly choose an option at this point, if only I knew what my options were.
I have been applying for jobs. I haven't gotten one but... I guess I am continuing with the attempts.
--Update.... my current roommate just completely offered for me to move into the University Village with her. The best way I can explain the UV is "paradise." Completely furnished, completely amazing... just the best of the best and it's cheaper than... well, anything.
I HAVE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES I CANNOT ACHIIIIEVE!
[A free ride.. but I already paid. Exactly.]
And I can't just leave Mike and Dan there at FSU after I said I would commit so... Really I just need to find money ASAP.
Life.
-Samantha
PS IF ANYONE IS HIRING I AM SO HERE. REAL JOB A PLUS, ...PROSTITUTION A MAYBE!