(no subject)

[sylvspraak]

hate my life right now. this summer sucks. my job is the most boring thing in the world, and i'm exhausted because i've been waking up at 7:15 every morning since wednesday, to just go to work and be bored out of my mind. god dammit!!!!!! then there's nothing to do after work...oy. just so lazy, and so hard to organize things w/ other ppl...ugh. and last night was this family dinner thing. meh. tonight was liz's family dinner/birthday party for her, and she invited a few friends, there was me, fran, steph, beth, ryan, renee, oh and the fuckhead nick showed up, just for a half hour though. i still hate him so much. just ugh can't get over it how much i want him to die! so i didn't sleep well last night...i was sorta worried about tonight and nick being at liz's thing. this is what i dreamt, it's sorta like all my insecurities in one: so it started off w/ me having a few friends over and we were just hanging out on my deck. it was nice. then the next night i was on my own, and i was just hanging around my house, and i walked out onto my deck (u can see into all the neighbours backyards from there just so u all know). so in my dream the neighbour behind me was hannah, even though she lives like a couple of blocks away, but anyways in the dream it was her house and she was throwing a huge party for like the whole grade, and i knew nothing about it til then, and i saw everyone there, including the friends who were at my house the night before! so i was sad and pissed. but for some reason i threw a party the next night for the whole grade, despite being pissed at everyone. we drank, whatever. at some point after everyone had gone to sleep, i got up for some reason. and nick was in my hallway, and he was sorta all over me and i was like wtf? so i went to talk to courtney downstairs while he went to the kitchen for a drink. courtney was like "remember what he did to you and how he made you feel" and i was like ya, i know. so i went to talk to him and he was all "i love you baby take me back" and he tried to kiss me, and i was like "are you drunk?!" and he said "ya, just a little". so i said "i knew it! u only like me when ur drunk! i hate you so much!" and i slapped him across the face so hard, he sorta staggered back a bit and almost knocked over his glass, i remember that part so vividly coz i heard the glass clink against the table and i was thinking "whoah i pushed him hard". so i walked out and talked to courtney again. then he came into the room and threatened to hit courtney (fyi: courtney sent him a hate email, and he told liz he didn't understand why he got it from courtney, god he's dumb!) and so i was like "u do that i call the police" and so he walked away. and that was my dream.

ya that's pretty much it for the life of sylvie. it really sucks. someone throw a party or something, god i'm boooooooored!