purgatory

[sylverhawke]

I'm stuck in limbo. I can't be here anymore, but I don't want to go anywhere. I'm so tired of being alone, but I'm scared to death to let anyone else in. I wish I was like everyone else, but I can't even begin to understand their motivations. I fight between sentimentality and hyper-rationality. I wish I wanted to get married, and start a

Comments

[bluebrena]

I had friends in the past that continue to live the "American dream" or moving in that direction. But not everyone's perspective on the "American dream" is the same as what they make it out to be. Some people don't have a choice in that matter.

Finish school, get married, live together, have a kid and live happily ever after, right? Unfortunately for me, I don't have that choice. Yes, I'm happy that I suffered for the first part of my life only to find the one I love now. I'm sorry to say that I tried to commit suicide a few times before because I wanted the pain to stop. But I knew I had to keep going. Because in the end, you only have yourself. No matter the people that you surround yourself with.

I have serious trust issues. It's good to be picky, don't ever tell yourself you're not worth what you want.

And within that time to myself was when I knew I was ready to fall again.

"Love passionately and deeply, you might get hurt, but it's the only way to love."

I can't/won't be able to afford to finish up college. But that doesn't mean I don't plan on doing so in the near future. I'm not married, but I live with my boyfriend and his daughter. But I hope we will marry soon. Because my boyfriend has a daughter with someone that wasn't me, doesn't I don't love them any less. It hurts at times, but they keep me going.

I may not live the perfect life, but I long to live it the way I would like to.

When you're not looking for someone to love, when you least expect it...the one that's been longing for you is right in front of you and you dare not pursue it because you're afraid.

Laugh till you cry, dance like no one's watching and sing like you're in the shower with only your sound echoing within the walls. You never know, someone is watching you from afar and wishes to dance with you too...I didn't expect it, but it happend.

I can't stand giving up on myself. I hope you don't too.

Take care.

[sylverhawke]

it takes me forever to respond sometimes...

i know what it's like. i tried to kill myself twice in my younger days. it's something i try not to think about most of the time. i'm glad i didn't succeed, and i won't let myself go there ever again. i can't give up because i have to hope that there is something more....otherwise what's the point?