WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Steven is here. What the fuck. God, why are you doing this to me? God, make him go away. Please, make him go away. He can't be here. Please God, please God.....make him go away right now. PLease God, make him go away. PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease...Please God, make him go away
Edit: I'm calm. I explain. Ano...trying to shove all my huge, long, insane history with this boy is very difficult without getting uber long or uber pissy. So...if I say something that doesn't make sense, I already apologize for it now. *Sighs*
Ano...Four/Five years ago, I met this guy named Steven my sophmore year in High School. This is our first conversation:
Him: You wanna see my CDs?
Me: Sure *Takes them*....You've got Britney Spears in here.
Him: Yeah, you wanna borrow it?
Me: Sure.......if you want it broken.
Hai, I remember. Ano...three weeks after we met, approximately, he told me that he LOVED me. He'd send me notes, write me things, etc. etc. and essencially beg me to go out with him. Not pathetic, but he would beg. Over and over. I said no because I don't believe in friends dating. So time went along, we got close. He made me wanna go out and do stuff. We had fun together and he was this great, amazing guy that I loved to pieces. But in a friend way. Then one day, out of the blue...Steven tells me he's gay. ...Being bisexual myself, I saw no problem and I was more than supportive and happy for him. HOW-EV-ER. As the years went on, Steven became more and more hoorah-for-me-and-fuck-you. He'd always bring his ceramics projects in and say how cute and awesome they were and he'd go on and on and on about his problems and never, EVER listen to mine. [See where I get the ignored thing from? It gets me everywhere I go]. Anyway, I eventually started to loathe Steven. I was sick of him being all concerned about his looks and not giving a shit about anyone but himself. Not to mention, if I didn't feel like going out with him, it was always, "As usual..." One time, on the phone, the first thing he said to me was, "I called you because everyone else was busy"....Yeah...This just got worse and worse, he got into more and more shit talking and backstabbing and then he started playing favorites with his friends. He'd be totally into one or two people one week, then the next, I'd be his most favorite person, then the next week, someone else. Then he went so far as to tell this girl Gina, whom I utterly hated because she's a two-faced, lying little bitch, that I was bisexual. Now, I am open and free with it now, but in High School, I was scared as fuck. Not to mention, and I told him this, it's my secret to tell, NOT his. So we graduated and things became the worst ever. He told me he wanted to sleep with me because he wanted to know what it felt like. He wanted to know what it felt like...He wanted me to waste my precious virginity [and hai, I do mean my precious virginity because my virginity is something I hold dear] and bleed and rip and shread and tear and be in so much pain I could vomit............because he wanted to know what it felt like. In his car, nonetheless. So a week later, he finds one of his friends and has sex with her. And she was a virgin too. So I asked him how it went, and he doesn't say one. nice. thing. "Oh, I had a hard time staying hard," "she smelled funny," along with miscellaneous comments about her looks/being heavy. He even went so far as to tell me that he didn't come. At this time, I was sick of Steven and his bullshit, back-stabbing antics and I cut him off from and out of my life. I told him never to call or email me and he hasn't for almost a year...until today.
It may not seem like much to anyone, but please, please believe me. He was a horrible person to me and there are things that have been done that I'd rather not say, not to mention even think about...I'd also like to note that I have never cut off a friendship like this. Ever. And seeing him got me so upset, that I called Stephanie and was almost crying on the phone, panicking and hyperventilating. I crouched down on the floor in front of my door, terrified that I'd see him. I didn't want him near me...I was so afraid to see him. And then I went all mission impossible down the stairs, whispering on the phone to Stephanie because I couldn't stand being alone in my room, not knowing where he was in my house or who was talking to him. Then my sister and mother both say they still like Steven. I almost cried right there. [This was during dinner, btw]. My sister didn't know why I hated Steven, but she knew I did. My mom knew, she knew everything, even that he wanted to sleep with me and she felt sorry for him. I don't feel sorry for Steven, at all. His mother is a crack abuser and I don't feel sorry for Steven living with her because it's his own choice and he is old enough to live on his own if he was so miserable at his dad's or at his mom's house. He chose the worst of the two places for idiotic reasons [eg: his dad had rules]. Where as his mother never has food in the fridge, she's ODed before, and she doesn't work. I know, I know...it sounds awful that I'm ranting about his mom, but I only say it because I've been there for Steven when we went through all of the above. I was there when he'd eat everything in my house because he had nothing to eat in his own. All the cookies or goodies would be gone, he'd drink all our milk...*Sighs* Not that I mind sharing, but he never asked he just took and took and took...I guess that's how he was with everything. He just took it without asking and without offering.
Anyway, I'm off to show my mom Gackt's little gay elf dance with the big Neko-Neko people on stage. Sorry if I scared anyone and Nicole, I've added you to my friends <3 Thanks for commenting. :) Kazu, I'll get to your posts in a few minutes...I don't think you're on right now, but...just in case you are. Ja ne.
Edit II
I just finally showed my mom the Dancing Cats video. She thinks Gackt's a little faggy =X I didn't say anything...She thought it was really cute tho, all the people in the neko costumes. She thought Gackt and...one of his guitarists [I don't know his name >_< it wasn't Ren tho] was a girl...she said he looked "very femanine" XDDD I almost didn't make it when he did his little gay elf nance. She asked if I knew what the song was about..I said no T_T Dammit, I wish I did tho. I only understood the "Nyan~nyan!" by Ren. Haw. Too kawaii. ^_^
I forgot to mention earlier, that uh...coloring Easter eggs with my family is dangerous. And I had made the comment, "Well everyone's got........................ya know, their panties in a twist..." and my dad goes, "How did you know I wore panties?" *LMFAO* >_< DAD!!! Gahhh...He's a crazy boy, that Papa-san.
I went up to Ozzie [one of our dogs] and I go, "Ozzie!....INUYASHA!" because yesterday I was on the phone with Steph and her and I were talking and we have a small obsession to go, "InuYASHA! KAGOME!!...InuYasha, SIT! *Doosh* KAGOME!!" So, I was looking at Ozzie and I went, "Ozzie!...INUYASHA!...KaGOME!" and he was tilting his head from side to side and it was SOOOOO kawaii! So when I did the "Ozzie!...INUYASHA!" today, Bekki snapped at me and went, "Don't teach my dog Japanese!" and I got uber pissed and I smacked her on the head and said, "It's a NAME" and she got all pissy. *Eye roll* FOOL. Then trying to sort out candy for Easter baskets with the *entire* family AND the baby AND a dog...-_- Gahhhh...fun, thanks, but getthefuckawaynowpleasekaythanks. You know? @_@ Damn.
Ano...I think that's all. ^_^ Sorry for the long-ish posts. :S
Edit: I'm calm. I explain. Ano...trying to shove all my huge, long, insane history with this boy is very difficult without getting uber long or uber pissy. So...if I say something that doesn't make sense, I already apologize for it now. *Sighs*
Ano...Four/Five years ago, I met this guy named Steven my sophmore year in High School. This is our first conversation:
Him: You wanna see my CDs?
Me: Sure *Takes them*....You've got Britney Spears in here.
Him: Yeah, you wanna borrow it?
Me: Sure.......if you want it broken.
Hai, I remember. Ano...three weeks after we met, approximately, he told me that he LOVED me. He'd send me notes, write me things, etc. etc. and essencially beg me to go out with him. Not pathetic, but he would beg. Over and over. I said no because I don't believe in friends dating. So time went along, we got close. He made me wanna go out and do stuff. We had fun together and he was this great, amazing guy that I loved to pieces. But in a friend way. Then one day, out of the blue...Steven tells me he's gay. ...Being bisexual myself, I saw no problem and I was more than supportive and happy for him. HOW-EV-ER. As the years went on, Steven became more and more hoorah-for-me-and-fuck-you. He'd always bring his ceramics projects in and say how cute and awesome they were and he'd go on and on and on about his problems and never, EVER listen to mine. [See where I get the ignored thing from? It gets me everywhere I go]. Anyway, I eventually started to loathe Steven. I was sick of him being all concerned about his looks and not giving a shit about anyone but himself. Not to mention, if I didn't feel like going out with him, it was always, "As usual..." One time, on the phone, the first thing he said to me was, "I called you because everyone else was busy"....Yeah...This just got worse and worse, he got into more and more shit talking and backstabbing and then he started playing favorites with his friends. He'd be totally into one or two people one week, then the next, I'd be his most favorite person, then the next week, someone else. Then he went so far as to tell this girl Gina, whom I utterly hated because she's a two-faced, lying little bitch, that I was bisexual. Now, I am open and free with it now, but in High School, I was scared as fuck. Not to mention, and I told him this, it's my secret to tell, NOT his. So we graduated and things became the worst ever. He told me he wanted to sleep with me because he wanted to know what it felt like. He wanted to know what it felt like...He wanted me to waste my precious virginity [and hai, I do mean my precious virginity because my virginity is something I hold dear] and bleed and rip and shread and tear and be in so much pain I could vomit............because he wanted to know what it felt like. In his car, nonetheless. So a week later, he finds one of his friends and has sex with her. And she was a virgin too. So I asked him how it went, and he doesn't say one. nice. thing. "Oh, I had a hard time staying hard," "she smelled funny," along with miscellaneous comments about her looks/being heavy. He even went so far as to tell me that he didn't come. At this time, I was sick of Steven and his bullshit, back-stabbing antics and I cut him off from and out of my life. I told him never to call or email me and he hasn't for almost a year...until today.
It may not seem like much to anyone, but please, please believe me. He was a horrible person to me and there are things that have been done that I'd rather not say, not to mention even think about...I'd also like to note that I have never cut off a friendship like this. Ever. And seeing him got me so upset, that I called Stephanie and was almost crying on the phone, panicking and hyperventilating. I crouched down on the floor in front of my door, terrified that I'd see him. I didn't want him near me...I was so afraid to see him. And then I went all mission impossible down the stairs, whispering on the phone to Stephanie because I couldn't stand being alone in my room, not knowing where he was in my house or who was talking to him. Then my sister and mother both say they still like Steven. I almost cried right there. [This was during dinner, btw]. My sister didn't know why I hated Steven, but she knew I did. My mom knew, she knew everything, even that he wanted to sleep with me and she felt sorry for him. I don't feel sorry for Steven, at all. His mother is a crack abuser and I don't feel sorry for Steven living with her because it's his own choice and he is old enough to live on his own if he was so miserable at his dad's or at his mom's house. He chose the worst of the two places for idiotic reasons [eg: his dad had rules]. Where as his mother never has food in the fridge, she's ODed before, and she doesn't work. I know, I know...it sounds awful that I'm ranting about his mom, but I only say it because I've been there for Steven when we went through all of the above. I was there when he'd eat everything in my house because he had nothing to eat in his own. All the cookies or goodies would be gone, he'd drink all our milk...*Sighs* Not that I mind sharing, but he never asked he just took and took and took...I guess that's how he was with everything. He just took it without asking and without offering.
Anyway, I'm off to show my mom Gackt's little gay elf dance with the big Neko-Neko people on stage. Sorry if I scared anyone and Nicole, I've added you to my friends <3 Thanks for commenting. :) Kazu, I'll get to your posts in a few minutes...I don't think you're on right now, but...just in case you are. Ja ne.
Edit II
I just finally showed my mom the Dancing Cats video. She thinks Gackt's a little faggy =X I didn't say anything...She thought it was really cute tho, all the people in the neko costumes. She thought Gackt and...one of his guitarists [I don't know his name >_< it wasn't Ren tho] was a girl...she said he looked "very femanine" XDDD I almost didn't make it when he did his little gay elf nance. She asked if I knew what the song was about..I said no T_T Dammit, I wish I did tho. I only understood the "Nyan~nyan!" by Ren. Haw. Too kawaii. ^_^
I forgot to mention earlier, that uh...coloring Easter eggs with my family is dangerous. And I had made the comment, "Well everyone's got........................ya know, their panties in a twist..." and my dad goes, "How did you know I wore panties?" *LMFAO* >_< DAD!!! Gahhh...He's a crazy boy, that Papa-san.
I went up to Ozzie [one of our dogs] and I go, "Ozzie!....INUYASHA!" because yesterday I was on the phone with Steph and her and I were talking and we have a small obsession to go, "InuYASHA! KAGOME!!...InuYasha, SIT! *Doosh* KAGOME!!" So, I was looking at Ozzie and I went, "Ozzie!...INUYASHA!...KaGOME!" and he was tilting his head from side to side and it was SOOOOO kawaii! So when I did the "Ozzie!...INUYASHA!" today, Bekki snapped at me and went, "Don't teach my dog Japanese!" and I got uber pissed and I smacked her on the head and said, "It's a NAME" and she got all pissy. *Eye roll* FOOL. Then trying to sort out candy for Easter baskets with the *entire* family AND the baby AND a dog...-_- Gahhhh...fun, thanks, but getthefuckawaynowpleasekaythanks. You know? @_@ Damn.
Ano...I think that's all. ^_^ Sorry for the long-ish posts. :S