Miracle - Chapter Three.

[sydneyjae]

Title: Miracle.

Author: sydneyjae

Pairing: YunJae/JaeHo (Minor YooSu/JunChun)

Genre: I'm not quite sure. Some could class as Angst/Romance.

Warnings: Homosexual Relations, Vulgar Language (maybe), Self-Harm, (and at the moment, no actual plot, we

Summary: A certain boarding school was created to help the people with specific problems to overcome them. Some use it to cure themselves, some use it as a way to connect with others like them, some are just sent because their parents can't deal with them anymore. Jaejoong doesn't think much of the place when he starts, only hoping it can make him normal. Upon meeting his roommate, Jung Yunho, maybe he's been blessed with a miracle after all. Maybe.

Chapter Summary: Has Changmin stepped over the line mentioning the thing that Yunho would rather forget?

Chapter Pairing: HeeHo/YunChul.



Chapter Three - The Real Story?

"Yunho! Min, come here, it's Yunho!"

"What? You're kidding right?"

"No! He's here at our door with some small, blonde kid!"

As the reunion took place in front of his eyes, Jaejoong could only stand at the door and watch as the three boys hugged and patted each other on the backs. His friends seemed over excited to see the raven haired male and Jaejoong could already understand why.

The two teenagers had taken their time walking through the hallways of the undecorated school. Lots of students were wandering around now, trying to find their rooms and meeting up with people that they'd met with in previous years, which made Jaejoong really nervous. He stood close to Yunho while travelling to Dorm D and the taller male was aware of Jaejoong's position for the whole journey. It was cute really, how vulnerable he was to the people around him and he wondered how many people he'd actually trusted in telling his story to.

"Guys, this is Jaejoong. He's my roommate for the year." Yunho announced to his two tall, dark haired friends. The named male tried to keep his head down, eyes connected with the floor, but he couldn't miss the wink that one of the boys at the door, he guessed was Yoochun, sent in the direction of Yunho. The latter coughed nervously and internally cursed his friend standing in the threshold. Itching the back of his head, Yunho gestered towards the two males at the door.

"Jaejoong, this is Yoochun," pointing towards the teen who had winked at him, "and this is Changmin.", pointing towards the male who was slightly hidden behind Yoochun. Changmin seemed a little more quiet and currently slightly more fierce-looking. When he'd realised Yunho was at the door, Changmin had had a huge grin on his face, but on seeing Jaejoong, the smile disappeared and a stern look replaced it which made him more nervous and uneasy.

"Nice to meet you, Jaejoong." Yoochun said, diverting the blonde's attention from one brother to the other.

"Um, you t-too."

Yoochun gestured for the two boys to enter the brother's dormitory room which Yunho had to nudge Jaejoong into. It was similar to their own. Two beds on either sidesof the room, a couple of chairs scattered around, a wardrobe at the foot of each bed, bedside tables and a mini-fridge. The difference was, Yoochun and Changmin owned several delicate objects, that Jaejoong guessed represented their childhood. He was nervous enough already, if he knocked something over in someone else's room, it'd make him even more upset than it did usually, but it felt different.

Jaejoong had been feeling kind of strange since he'd arrived, stranger than usual, that is. He'd often act jumpy and shaken constantly, but being next to Yunho made him feel different, which is what worried him. He knew he'd been pushed in the deep end already and if he didn't try his hardest to tread water, he'd be engulfed in Yunho and everything he did, which would end up resulting in Yunho hating him. That was basically Jaejoong's life, which coincided with his nightmare.

Yoochun brought Jaejoong back from his little thought wander, asking him whether he would like a drink. Accepting, the blonde realised that Yoochun was amazingly polite and friendly. Hopefully, they'd be good friends in the future. Changmin on the other hand, wasn't as friendly. He just seemed to sit in the armchair in the corner of the room, with his book, ignoring everyone. Jaejoong wondered whether it was a technique to stop him lashing out at someone, whih led him to think that maybe Changmin hated him.

When Yoochun returned with the cold beverages, the three began a conversation that seemed to last hours, just discussing random shit that didn't necessarily need discussing.

Jaejoong had been put in a fantastic mood and his nerves were drained from him. That was, until Changmin decided to speak and his comment made the room silent.

"He looks a bit like Heechul, don't you think, Yunho? You do remember Heechul right?"

Jaejoong didn't fully understand, but seeing Yunho's fists clench and watching the scowl spread across his face was enough to know that this was a touchy subject.

Kim Heechul was Yunho's best friend for as long as anyone was able to remember. The second question Changmin so spitefully asked was so stupidly ridiculous that if he'd written it down and eaten the paper, he would've lost brain points. How on Earth was Yunho going to ever be able to forget Heechul?

They were friends from such a young age, they met though a game of 'Cops and Robbers'. The innocent five-year-old Kim Heechul, with his floppy hair and childish grin had immediately made Yunho's six-year-old self want to join in the game that was making the other laugh so hysterically. Their relationship developed from that one game. The one game in the autumn evening when Yunho the cop had caught Heechul the robber for 'stealing some sweets' from the corner shop. The sight of Heechul's adorable, tiny, toddler face flashed vividly though Yunho's mind every time someone would mention his name.

Ever since that one day, Autumn had been Yunho's favourite season. Even just being alive from September through to November made him think of Heechul. That was the start of where things went wrong between himselve and hismother. Of course, being friends with someone was one thing. But meeting every year in the same spot to play the same game you played on the day you met, is a little weird. They played the game even at ten, even at twelve and even at fifteen.

As Yunho grew up with Heechul, he began developing feelings that he was unsure whether were normal for just friends, or even best friends. At first, he tried to suppress the feelings but they began taking over and warping his mind, making him believe that if he had Heechul just for one night, he'd be able to rid every feeling of lust that he had for him and return to being best friends. Obviously, that wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, possible. So the raven haired male tried to make something out of their relationship.

Each month, careful not to be too pushy, Yunho began to advance on Heechul. Only little things, like putting his arm around him more often. Then giving him more hugs. Finally, he would progressively inch his hand closer and closer towards the other's until it was gently resting upon it. No words could describe the feeling he felt when Heechul had entweine their fingers and stayed sitting there, under the park's tree. It was unbelieveable, he'd got what he wanted. Now the only issue was his mother. He knew she wouldn't approve. But she'd already noticed. She sensed that maybe, sooner or later, it'd be time for her to step in.

...

"What did you want, Mum?" I asked, trudging down the stairs. I didn't want to be here. i could be somewhere with Heechul.

"I was just discussing with your father about how you're sixteen now and you'll be going to high schoo soon..."

Oh great, where was this going?

"Mhmm?"

"And how you're going to become a man soon, not our little boy like you used to be."By this time, I really didn't want to know what she was going to tell me. In fact, I feared it more than I longed to possess the knowledge of what the fuck she was talking about.

"Mhmm?"

"So we've arranged for you to get married!"

Way to put a bombshell on me Mum.

"WHAT?"

"She's a lovely girl, really. Good family, well brought up, polite, pretty, everything you could want!"

No. This girl was not everything I could want. In fact, she was quite the opposite. She was a girl. I didn't want this. I wanted to run away, out the door, around the corner and down the road, preferably screaming, to the park. Unfortunately, I would've been in deeper trouble than I already was if I'd done that - and no matter how homosexual I am, I'm still a man, I had to keep an unemotional face to show that actually, I didn't want to get married. Mother always had her ways to dig her nails deep into something good and twist and turn them until it formed something horrible, ugly.

"Her name's Lee Sunkyu. Here's her picture. You're going to meet tomorrow!"

"No." That was all I could come up with. I didn't know how to say that I actually had no interest in her. Then again, if I knew Mother, she'd have lined up thousands of girls to marry me if I disagreed to one.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't like her. She's not very pretty at all."

"You're being very silly Yunho. Looks aren't everything!"

"How am I supposed to give you grandkids with someone that I don't find attractive. Surely I'm your child and I deserve the best." Ugh. I felt sick saying that. In the space of two minutes, I'd insulted a girl who was obviously very pretty, that I hadn't even met and I'd become some sort of egotistic shit head, like I was three-years-old and demanding the biggest chocolate bar in the shop.

"How are you supposed to give me grandkids if you're fucking a boy?"

That. That pushed me over the edge. My face probably went ruby red when I stood up in front of my elderly mother.

"How dare you? How dare you even think that I'd be having sex with Heechul?! It's nothing like that. AT ALL. So if you think your stupid little plan to get me to marry some airhead rich girl so I stop going out with Heechul is going to work, think again!"

There were no words that could actually portray how fucked off I was with her. She'd just outright said without any sympathy about how I would feel, that I would just have casual sex with Heechul and nothing would ever come from it.

"I don't think you want to be clinging onto this dream, Yunho. The boy wasn't very happy when he found out you were getting married." My breathing hitched.

"You told him I was getting married before you told me?!"

"Yes. Well I knew that he'd be mature enough to get over this silly little dream of you two being together if he knew beforehand."

"Wait, what do you mean, 'wasn't very happy'?"

The anticipation for her answer was unbearable. She needed to tell me now. Right now.

"He hung up on me in tears, at first. I knew that Heechul was a very clever boy and he'd get over it soon enough. He did. This morning, he walked past the house with his arm around that lovely Jung Jessica. Her head was resting on his shoulder. They look so good together."

I knre that this was probably one of her stories to get me to forget Heechul and move on, yet the though of it still broke me down inside. A single tear was all that my body could manage to create before I couldn't take it any longer and I just let myself take me wherever. I needed a break from my disgusting mother.

My prayers had been answered. I spotted Heechul. He was alone. I knew i could explain to him and he'd understand. It was Heechul. He'd been my friend for years.

I jumped out at him, grabbing him from behind and pulling him into an embrace. He was so close I could hear his breathing, but it lasted only three seconds before he shoved me away and shot me a scowl that could've pierced my heart.

"H-Heechul..."

"You know why I'm angry with you Yunho. You know why I never want to see you again. You know why I'm starting to think that I never actually meant anything to you."

I choked. The last sentance nearly killed me. I couldn't put any words together to explain that none of it was going to happen.

"H-Heechul..."

"Oh Yunho. Just shut up and leave. I'm over you, okay? Yeah, I thought we were at least friends. Over ten years we've been friends, but obviously time doesn't mean anything if you aren't willing to put in the effort. And yeah, what Changmin said the other day to you is true. I did buy a house for us. I did hope we could move in together, but I guess I'll just have to live there alone. and no, I don't want to hear any of your stupid stories. I hope you and 'Sunkyu' are very happy together. Goodbye Yunho. I'M sorry it had to end like this.2

He broke my heart into two. There was nothing I could say to change his mind. I knew Heechul. once he had his mind set on something, he'd do it. I guess then maybe i just had to let him go...

...

Since then, Heechul moved to America. His parents had gotten new jobs that meant it was easier to live over there rather than in South Korea.

And since then, Yunho had gotten over Heechul - eventually, with a little help from Yoochun and no help from Changmin. The younger male was determined that Yunho would never forget the long haired guy. He believed everyone had a true love and that they only come around once. Changmin knew that Yunho's was Heechul's and vice versa, and anyone that spoiled the idea of that was not in his good books. Jaejoong was definately someone that was going to wreck Yunho's memory of Heechul. He could see the same twinkle in Yunho's eye that he had when he used to see his former love, when he looked at Jaejoong. It was apparent as soon as Yoochun had opened the door.

The whole memory that Yunho had of Heechul had just flashed before his eyes. He vowed to himself that Jaejoong would never find out the actual impact Heechul had had on him. Jaejoong hadn't asked exactly how his mother had found out about his homosexuality and he wasn't going to just tell him. It was better if he didn't know.

"How could you even think I could possibly forget him? And no, Jaejoong doesn't look like Heechul. Jaejoong is much better looking." Yunho stated, which made the blonde's eyes light up and Yoochun grin to himself.

"Are you sure Yunho, have you seen him?", gesturing towards the blonde with a flick of his head.

A knock. One simple knock to Jaejoong's self esteem. He already knew he was ugly, he didn't need other people telling him he was. Directly or indirectly. He begged. He begged himself internally not to cry in front of the three new people he'd met. Not to show the one person that had just insulted him that he'd actually gotten to him. Maybe Yunho would understand. After all, he had just explained to him why he was here. Would he stick up for him? What if he didn't? What if he just thought of him as a child?

Wiping the liquid that just blurred his vision with his sleeve, Jaejoong sniffed and hid his face with his arm, staring at the floor.

"Was that really necessary, Min? Honestly?" Yunho asked, throwing a stare that could've killed in the direction of the corner where the tallest male was located and gently placed a hand on Jaejoong's back. He didn't know whether the blonde despised physical contact. He hadn't mentioned anything about it, but he'd winced when he'd shaken his hand earlier that day.

Slamming his book on the desk next to him, Changmin stood up, folded his arms and spat at his best friend, "Yes. I think it was. He needs to be told that you're not interested in hm, telling him he's good looking is going to give him the wrong message!"

Yunho pushed himself off of the bed he was sat on and stood opposite the other, looking into his eyes, but felt something pull down on his sleeve before he could say anything. He saw Yoochun, pleading with his dark globules, not to start anything. He knew that Yunho knew perfectly well what Changmin was like when he got mad. They were in Dorm D after all. Changmin's behavioural issues were a lot worse than his brother's. No one knew why, he was just st off on an anger warpath at any little thing.

Yunho sighed and took hold of Jaejoong's wrist. He said goodbye to Yoochun, who attempted to apologise to the blonde, but before he could, he'd been yanked out the door, tears still in his eyes.

***

[Jaejoong's POV]
I sat in bed. Pondering. Pondering over how on Earth my day could've been any worse. I guess I could've tripped over. That would've been embarrassing. I could've thrown up. No. Even thinking about that makes me want to cry. If I had thrown up over Yunho Oh god. I would've earned myself the feeling of that blade digging into my skin. I would've had to engulf myself in the immese pain that I would've forced into my flesh. My punishment. But I hadn't thrown up on Yunho. I'd just cried.

When Yunho had removed me from Yoochun and Changmin's room, he'd thrown me against the wall in dormitory D. I feared what he was going to do. Was he going to slap me for crying in front of his friends? For having to stick up for me? For making one of his longest friends angry? But no, he didn't. He just gripped my shoulders and made me look at him. I stood there stupidly. Stupid, stupid me. All I did was kept wiping my eyes with my sleeve and sniffing, snivelling. Stupid, stupid me. But the things he said...

"I'm really sorry, Jaejoong."

Really?

"I can't believe he said those things."

I can.

"You are nothing that he said you were."

Nope, he was right.

"Don't think that you are,"

Too late.

"because I don't think you are."

Huh?

"Just forget everything he said. He's got behavioural issues. Please, just ignore him."

I knew it was just empty words. I'd obviously obtained the sympathy vote. But it meant so much nonetheless.

After the, um, embarrassing incident in Dorm D, the bell rang, which Yunho had informed me was the dinner bell. He walked with me to the dinner hall, where we met up with Yoochun. He said he'd called the counsellor for Changmin, so he'd been put in a seperate room for dinner. Yoochun's so nice. He smiled at me and wouldn't stop apologising for what Changmin had said. Then Yunho joined in. It was the strangest meal ever. They kept offering to cut my bread, in apology for what Changmin had said. They kept offering me their food, in apology for what Changmin had said. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to even smell the food. That could've made me throw up. I tried to refuse to consume anything, saying that I wasn't hungry, but all I got was a frown and a stare, forcing me to masticate on a carrot that I'd reluctantly picked up. I can understand where Changmin was coming from. I mean, look at me. I'm horrid. I need to stop eating. I'm going to get fat.

Yoochun bid us goodnight as he wandered off in the complete opposite direction of his own dormitory room. He said he didn't want to get back before Changmin had gone to sleep otherwise he'd have started throwing chairs at him.

I like Yoochun. I really like Yoochun. Not enough to like like him though. He was interested in someone else anyway. When we were sat in the hall, he kept zoning out of the apologise, staring in the direction that was behind me.

"Junsu. Kim Junsu. I liked him last year too. He never noticed me though. Too busy with everyone else to give me the time of day."

This 'Junsu', from what it seemed, was the most popular boy here. The table he was sat at was the most crowded. I could understand why Yoochun never had a chance to talk to him. What I didn't understand was how he could love someone that he'd never spoken to. He said it was his laugh. He said he could tell from someone's laugh, their whole personality. I'd heard Junsu's laugh a lot when we were sat in the hall. Random and deafening, 'Eun-kyang-kyang's' could be heard from his table and every time they did, Yoochun would exhale adoringly. It was cute, really.

Junsu was good looking. Yoochun's good looking. Why is everyone so much better looking than me? Maybe I should do my hair tomorrow, put on some foundation. Maybe that'd make me pretty. I'd like to be pretty.

Yunho's pretty. No, Yunho's manly. Manly and gorgeous. He looks so amazing while he's sleeping. His face, so adorable.

When Yunho and I returned to our dorm room, it was nine o'clock. He ordered for me to go to bed, he said I'd had a long day. He was like my mothe by I did what he said.

I'd got dressed into my pyjamas. Yunho had told me to get dressed while he went tothe bathroom, so I obeyed. I'd obey anything he told me to. If he told me to stand on my head in the corner, I would. If he told me to graffiti the walls of the corridors, I would. If he told me to remove my trousers and bend over, I wou-... you get the point. I just would. He's so amazing, even if I've only known him less than a day.

I was completely hidden by my duvet when he returned. Thinking back now, I feel guilty. I shouldn't have done it. But it was so wonderful. I pretended to sleep when he walked through the door. He came over to check on me, (because as I said, he's amazing), and made sure I was sleeping. Then he went over to his own wardrove. I'm so terrible. Yes. I. Watched. Yunho. Undress. It was probably the most beautiful thing I'd seen in ages. It's like a guilty pleasure. He removed his top quite swiftly, and put on a stunningly white wife beater, with his back turned to me. I didn't really mind. His back was enough for me. Then he removed his jeans. The way he unbuckled his belt and let them drop to his ankles was enough to give me sweet dreams for a good four months. He hopped into bed, just wearing his vest, boxers and socks. I think I may have dribbled.

Karma will get me for that soon. I know it will. I can never enjoy things. As long as I'd seen it once. I think I've been sent into some sort of beautiful dream. No matter what Changmin had said to me earlier, the sight of Yunho just makes everything seem okay.

I still wonder who Heechul is.

--

Hey guys! I'm so sorry this took forever and a day to update but I got terrible writers block and then I went on holiday and then... well, I have no more excuses but it's here now and I'll try and be as quick as possible with updates because I'm off for summer now...
I felt really weird writing the thing between Yunho and Heechul. I was like, this is not JaeHo/YunJae, this is weird. XD
I'M SORRY MINNIE FANS. I needed someone to be mean! D: He seems mean now, he'll get better, i hope, I promise. ^.^
Joongie's gone all perverted, ne? Haha. If I was Yunnie, I'd be a tad creeped. XD Unless he likes it... lol. ;)
Comments are very much appreciated! I really like knowing who reads my stuff, I keep getting random friend adds and it'd be nice if you left me some love, just once? That's not much to ask for right? I LOVE MY READERS~

And just a note before you go (and comment...), if you're worried about our Dong Bang boys splitting, please don't be. They're only trying to rearrange their contract - it's not much to ask for and to be honest, SM will be better off if they just give them what they want. Hopefully this'll be sorted soon, but for now, DBSK Hwaiting~! ^.^