(no subject)
Today in Orchestra and I found my thoughts drifting...while I was
playing my violin. I find it interesting that most of my revelations
come when I'm completely not focusing on anything in particular. I
guess this has something to do with my subconsicious. The weird thing
was, my fingers were moving across my violin and I could get the notes
right, but I just wasn't paying attention at all. Thinking back, I
don't know if I was daydreaming, or actually thinking logical thoughts
about my life. Probably the first, since I can't even remember what I
was thinking about. I do know though that it was something important.
Wow...I'm so out of it.
Then sometime afterwards....my orchestra teacher looked at me, and goes, "You're always so solemn. Smile!!!" And that made me laugh. I am NOT solemn. Actually, probably one of the least solemn people you will ever find. I just don't like to smile for absolutely no reason at all. It takes muscle strength (which I do not have) and frankly, I will look like somewhat of an idiot if I'm grinning all the time. Yes...I will. Despite all your arguments. And as I'm typing this, I look at the word "smile". The word itself, the way it looks on paper, just makes you want to smile, doesn't it? :)
But yeah...not exactly having emotions right now. Kinda feel like I'm just going through all the motions of life. This is very interesting to me, someone who used to be so overly bubbly and happy all the time. I remember when I was little, I'd go home and tell my mom one awesome thing about my day. EVERY single day. I did it up until 7th grade, and then I just kinda stopped...don't know what happened there.
Maybe I should start doing it again, but one, my mom probably won't listen to me, and two....I'd feel kind of uncomfortable doing it. Guess that's why we have LJs. So we can say one good thing about our day.
Then sometime afterwards....my orchestra teacher looked at me, and goes, "You're always so solemn. Smile!!!" And that made me laugh. I am NOT solemn. Actually, probably one of the least solemn people you will ever find. I just don't like to smile for absolutely no reason at all. It takes muscle strength (which I do not have) and frankly, I will look like somewhat of an idiot if I'm grinning all the time. Yes...I will. Despite all your arguments. And as I'm typing this, I look at the word "smile". The word itself, the way it looks on paper, just makes you want to smile, doesn't it? :)
But yeah...not exactly having emotions right now. Kinda feel like I'm just going through all the motions of life. This is very interesting to me, someone who used to be so overly bubbly and happy all the time. I remember when I was little, I'd go home and tell my mom one awesome thing about my day. EVERY single day. I did it up until 7th grade, and then I just kinda stopped...don't know what happened there.
Maybe I should start doing it again, but one, my mom probably won't listen to me, and two....I'd feel kind of uncomfortable doing it. Guess that's why we have LJs. So we can say one good thing about our day.