[just the way you want it]
alright. ever get that feeling like you just need to talk to somebody, but there's nobody around to talk to? yeah, it was like that last night, and it sucked. even though Nick and Beedham were there. i don't know, it's like i can't talk to people that i see on a day to day basis, or just people that i see really often. or maybe it's not that at all, maybe it's just that i can't talk to people that i'm not really that close to. i mean i know them, but like Nicks goin out with my sister. and i don't really talk to him that much. and i don't know. but yeah it was like 1 in the morning and nobody was online. and i don't know. but it was just crappy cause i had a lot on mind mind [still do] but i don't know. Jon called me last night, we talked about shit, i'd like to talk to him about stuff, and i probably could, but it'd be weird for me. kinda would, but kinda wouldn't. we've been talking more lately. we talked for like an hour the other night. [weird] but yeah. i don't know he's in Florida, and it's kind of hard to talk to somebody so far away. it should be better, but it makes it harder for me. i miss him like everyday. it's crazy, not the crush miss, but just the friend miss. i don't know. i'm really confused about stuff. i'd kinda like a good guy friend, but i don't know. not a boyfriend, not friend with benifits, just a guy i can talk to, to get a guys perspective on things. rawr =/ this is really horrible. just wish that i had somebody at some point. sometimes it feels like i'm just incredibly lonely. and i don't know, i mean, i'm not, but i am. like everybody has somebody. cept me. i don't know it just gets loneldy.
yeah so i'm here until probably about 4ish? i don't know. but it's been fun =)
i need to get over him. because i can't take it anymore. no more chances. that's it. he's done, i should be. but ya know. you know how it is. and well it sucks. i need a good relationship to come along..sometime.
i'm done.
love,
me.