Fic: Untitled
Fic number three. Geeze, this one needs a title, but I suck at picking them, and I really can't think of anything for this one. Crossposted to tenipuri
Title: Untitled
Pairing: Fuji/Echizen
Rating: PG-13
Genre/Warnings: Humor/Crack
Notes: Valentine’s Day fic.
Summary: Valentine’s Day for the Seigaku Tennis Club Regulars could be described as…interesting at best and completely dangerous at worst.
Untitled
Tezuka knew when he entered the Seigaku High Tennis Club House on the morning of February 14th that he would soon have some kind of headache (or any type of pain, really). The only thing he didn’t know was how badly it would hurt. Valentine’s Day for the Seigaku Tennis Club Regulars could be described as…interesting at best and completely dangerous at worst. Hordes of high school girls would descend upon the Regulars of the tennis team, trying to push the others girls out of the way so that they could be the first to give on the boys their valentine. Much chaos ensued as the girls fought, and by the time they finished fighting their lust object had usually escaped and their Valentines were lying on the floor in pieces (which usually started a whole new fight between the girls).
However, one member of the Regulars usually remained unscathed and unbothered every Valentine’s Day. This lucky member (in Tezuka’s eyes at least) was none other than Echizen Ryoma, Seigaku’s first year prodigy. Though, Tezuka envied Echizen for the way the walking hormones avoided him, he did not envy the reason for why the walking hormones avoided him.
Three years ago, Echizen walked into their lives and captured the attention of every tennis player in…well, pretty much every tennis player in Japan. But one tennis player noticed him more than the others, and this tennis player was none other than Fuji Syuusuke, Seigaku’s resident tensai. Fuji had begun to woo (or his version of it at least) Echizen during Echizen’s second year at Seigaku Middle School, about two months before Valentine’s Day. Fuji’s version of wooing said prodigy basically consisted of stalking the poor boy until Echizen gave in to him. Tezuka was at least thankful that Fuji waited until they had graduated Seigaku Middle and moved to Seigaku High before ‘wooing’ Echizen (though Tezuka secretly believed it was only to avoid the number of laps that Tezuka would have issued said tensai because of the way Echizen’s tennis suffered during the ‘wooing’ period). And boy did Echizen’s tennis suffer. Tezuka had been shocked to find out that Echizen had lost a whole match to Horio of all people during that month. Really, Tezuka would have strangled Fuji instead of issuing laps if the tensai had dared to do that while Tezuka was still buchou of the Seigaku Middle School tennis team.
Fuji opted out of joining Seigaku High’s tennis team his first year so that he could better woo (READ: stalk) his love interest (READ: prey). To Echizen’s credit, the poor boy had held out for a long, tense (tennis-suffering) month before finally giving in to his senpai. Though, Tezuka secretly believed that he had only held out that long because he had no clue whatsoever that Fuji was even attempting to date him.
So, on their one month anniversary, which happened to fall on Valentine’s Day that year, Fuji skipped school in order to extract vengeance on anyone stupid enough to give Echizen valentines despite that Fuji had made it public knowledge (in many, many publicly embarrassing ways) that Echizen was taken. Fuji knew that there was always one (or in this case fifty) that would ignore what was right in front of them to brave the danger of giving Echizen a valentine and professing their undying lusty hormonal love for him. Fuji made quick work of these idiots. In fact, only one was brave enough to actually return to the school, but she only lasted a day before transferring like all the others (once they were discharged from the hospital, that is).
The fact that Fuji also loves to terrorize anyone that he claims to love (e.g. Echizen, Kikumaru, and Fuji’s brother, Yuuta) further led to Tezuka’s belief that he would be in some sort of pain today; especially when he walked into the tennis club room to find Echizen curled into a ball in front of Tezuka’s locker. The boy seemed to be asleep, but Tezuka ignored that fact because Echizen always seemed to be asleep. Instead, he toed Echizen in the ribs and waited for him to wake up. “Echizen,” Tezuka stated once Echizen opened his eyes, which in Tezuka-speak meant ‘what has Fuji done this time?’
“Buchou,” Echizen replied, which Tezuka took to mean, ‘nothing yet. Hide me?’
Instead of replying, Tezuka nudged Echizen out of his way with his foot before opening his locker. He heard Echizen mutter a ‘che’ behind him before moving to sit in front of Oishi’s locker (since he knew he could get some kind of help from him; really, he should have just started there). Unfortunately for Echizen (and maybe Tezuka) the next person to enter the club room was not Oishi. Instead, it was Kikumaru and…Yuuta? Tezuka took a brief moment to wonder what in the world Yuuta was doing there instead of where he should have been, before he took notice that Echizen seemed to have been waiting for those two to turn up.
“You have it?” He asked of Yuuta.
“Picked it up this morning,” Yuuta answered brightly after bowing politely to Tezuka. Tezuka could only nod back as he watched the three in bewilderment. He didn’t hear anything after that as the teens had moved to the back of the club room, close to the showers. Really, he didn’t care what they were talking about, but he kind of wished that he knew what ‘it’ was, if only to preserve his sanity in the coming hours. Instead, he busied himself with extracting the various chocolate candies from his locker and piling them into the extra bag he’d brought just for the occasion. Tezuka never ate the candies himself, but gave them to his grandfather instead - who had a very large sweet tooth.
Before he knew it, the club room had filled with all of the Regulars who also wanted to check their lockers for any candy before morning practice began. Of course Fuji made a beeline for his three favorite people as soon as he entered the club room (Tezuka noted that Fuji did not seem the slightest bit surprised to find Yuuta there). Tezuka also noticed that the three made no mention of the ‘it’ to Fuji at all.
Five minutes before practice was to begin, the locker room cleared out of all occupants except for Yuuta. On his way out, Tezuka stopped next to Yuuta and waited expectantly. “Ah, Tezuka-san,” the younger boy greeted, “I’m just going to stay in here.”
Tezuka stared at him impassively. “Eto...Aniki asked me to watch Echizen’s locker…”
“Don’t get careless,” Tezuka told him in a clear voice before leaving the club room. Stepping out into the cold air, Tezuka briefly wished that he could stay inside and guard Echizen’s locker as well before shaking off the thought and issuing laps to any stragglers.
An hour later, Tezuka was the last to enter the club room after morning practice. He wasn’t surprised to find Yuuta perched on the bench in front of Echizen’s locker. “Aniki, can I go now?” The younger Fuji almost pleaded with his older brother.
“Maa…Yuuta, what’s you’re rush? I thought you were going to class with Echizen today?”
“Fuji-senpai,” Echizen began, but was ignored by the Fujis.
“Unless…do you have someone you need to see today, Yuuta? Someone you haven’t told Aniki about?” Fuji’s smile dropped as his eyes opened a slit. Everyone in the room shivered as the temperature dropped a couple of degrees.
Yuuta finally dropped his gaze and muttered a ‘no, Aniki,’ causing Fuji to smile again. “Wonderful. If the professors give you any trouble Yuuta, just send them my way.” With that, Fuji turned away and drug a protesting Echizen to the showers with him. Tezuka didn’t believe for a second that any of the professors would bother coming to Fuji even if Yuuta did send them his way. Tezuka knew that the professors were scared witless of Fuji; Fuji was also fully aware of that fact and took full advantage of it every chance he got.
And that was when Tezuka noticed something pink sticking out of Echizen’s locker. Yuuta had, it seemed, gotten careless; and that carelessness would most likely cause some type of trauma (or even bodily harm) to someone. Looking back on things, if he had been smart, he would have ripped the nauseating pink letter from the locker and burned it (because just throwing it away wouldn’t have been enough - anything pink would attract Fuji’s attention on this day, even if it was in the trash). Unfortunately, Tezuka was in the habit of not stealing things from his teammates’ lockers.
Tezuka seemed to be the only one that had even noticed it; the others were too engrossed in a betting match of what exactly Fuji and Echizen were doing in the showers. Even Inui had thrown in a bet of 500 yen.
Finally, with about ten minutes to spare before the start of classes, Fuji and a rumpled looking Echizen emerged from the shower area. Just as Tezuka had suspected, Fuji’s eyes were immediately drawn to Echizen’s locker.
“What. Is. This?” Fuji asked, pulling the pink envelope from the locker. Even Tezuka shuddered at the cool venom in Fuji’s voice.
Yuuta paled. “A-Aniki, I don’t know how that got there. I-I didn’t see anyone come in here.”
“Saa, Yuuta, I don’t blame you.” Yuuta sighed in relief while the rest of the Regulars cringed as Fuji turned his open-eyed glare at them (minus Echizen - he couldn’t blame him for the valentine getting into the freshman’s own locker, after all). “Did any of you have anything to do with this?” Tezuka knew by the way he said the word ‘you’ that if any of them stepped forward to claim responsibility for the valentine, that person would most likely be spending the next month (or three) wishing they’d never seen the color pink.
“Mou…Fuji,” Kikumaru pouted. “You know we wouldn’t do that.”
“Plus, everyone in this room is involved with someone else,” Oishi hurried to explain when Fuji didn’t look the least bit appeased by Kikumaru. “We’re all very happy in our relationships; right, everyone?” Everyone in the room quickly nodded, even Tezuka (he knew what fights to avoid, after all).
Fuji glared at each of the Regulars (apparently trying to decide if they really were happy in their relationships and not trying to intrude on his) before turning back to Echizen, smile firmly back into place. “Saa…Echizen, don’t you worry. Go to class with Yuuta, and I’ll have this taken care of.”
The smile on Fuji’s face dropped again as he turned around and stalked through the club house door, the other Regulars scrambling to get out of Fuji’s Path of Doom. The school bell took that moment to ring, and Tezuka rubbed at his eyes under his glasses, knowing that this was just the beginning to what would surely be a long day.
***
Tezuka didn’t know if Fuji went to class at all that day, but he did spot the tensai roaming the school grounds from his classroom window. Any loitering students wisely took off in the other direction as soon as they spotted Fuji. Though, Tezuka knew that this would probably only convince Fuji of those students’ guilt in the matter of the pink valentine. Tezuka’s suspicions were correct as screams drifted through the (closed) window, coming from the direction Fuji had stalked.
Fuji did join the other seniors at their regular table for lunch, and he brought both Yuuta and Echizen along with him. It seemed that Fuji didn’t want to let Echizen out of his sight at all, if the way he’d latched onto Echizen’s arm throughout the whole lunch period was any indication. Echizen didn’t seem to mind any of this so long as he was fed. Tezuka was kind of hoping that the whole incident had been resolved by then, but those hopes were quickly dashed as Kikumaru asked Fuji, “Ne, Fuji, did you find them?”
“I’ve found a few suspects, but they managed to hold up during interrogation. Further questioning will be needed.”
“S-Suspects?” Kawamura stuttered, at a complete loss as to what was happening (he wasn’t present at the crime scene this morning since he wasn’t a member of the Tennis Club anymore). Kikumaru quickly filled the other senior in on the morning’s events.
“Fuji, what exactly did you do with the other students during your…interrogation?” Oishi asked carefully (Tezuka thought this wise because Fuji hated anyone asking about his interrogation methods).
“Saa… Oishi, don’t worry. I left them something to eat and drink this time. They’ll be just fine until I get back to them.” Fuji smiled at Oishi in reassurance (which did everything but reassure the fukubuchou).
“There’s a 95 percent chance that the food and drink Fuji is talking about are my new creations that were taken from the Chemistry lab this morning.” Inui muttered, scribbling away in his notebook. The others at the table (minus Fuji and Tezuka) blanched as they remembered Inui’s old creations, and since they only seemed to get worse, his new ones were probably lethal.
“Ah, Fuji, what exactly did you mean by ‘until you get back to them?’”
“Mada mada dane, Senpai.” Echizen muttered. Oishi blanched (even more so than he had at Inui’s statement) and quickly left the cafeteria. Tezuka figured that he was most likely going to check every utility room, closet, and bathroom in the school to look for anyone that had been tied up and left by Fuji.
Tezuka wondered briefly if he should step in and stop Fuji, but whenever the thought crossed his mind, his survival instincts screamed at him to stay out of it and to let the problem run its course. He would just end up doing damage control tomorrow instead.
The bell rang then, and everyone split up - heading back to their own classes. Fuji sent Yuuta with Echizen once again. Tezuka wasn’t surprised to see that Oishi wasn’t in the class when he arrived. Oishi’s sense of responsibility (and his worrying) would probably lead him to spending the whole Science lesson searching for any of Fuji’s victims, much to Fuji’s displeasure; Tezuka just hoped that Fuji didn’t tie Oishi up anywhere just to get the fukubuchou out of the way.
Oishi actually missed all of Science and then part of Japanese Literature. After apologizing to the professor, Oishi took his seat next to Tezuka - frowning at him as he did so. Tezuka took that to mean that Oishi wasn’t particularly successful in his plight of freeing Fuji’s victims.
Tezuka only occasionally caught sight of Fuji storming through the halls, but once he stopped trying to see through the classroom door window in order to catch a glimpse of the tensai, afternoon lessons passed quickly.
By the time the final bell of the day rang, Tezuka was ignoring the distinct Fuji-like shape that kept passing by the door and the way that Oishi would cringe every time they heard screams of terror - and sometimes pain - in the distance. But those painful screams, Tezuka could not ignore. Tezuka decided that he would need to put an end to Fuji’s rampage once and for all. He just really hoped that Miyuki wouldn’t track Fuji down and try to kill him after Tezuka failed to call her on Valentine’s Day after Fuji killed him.
So, it was with a heavy heart and a stern expression that Tezuka cornered Fuji after practice (as buchou, after all, he couldn’t let himself miss practice because he was dead. It was better to leave such things until after tennis) before said tensai could drag Echizen into the showers.
“Hai, Tezuka?” Fuji questioned, his smile becoming tight. He didn’t like anyone, not even Tezuka, interrupting his Echizen-time.
“Fuji,” Tezuka said again. “Perhaps you should give up,” Tezuka wondered why everyone in the room cringed at those words, “your search.”
“Give up?” Fuji asked, all smiles. “Maa, Tezuka, someone tried to take Echizen from me. That mistake must be corrected.”
“Maybe it was just a prank; after all, everyone knows how…possessive you are of Echizen.”
“Saa…then that’s even worse, isn’t it? That means this discrepancy was done on purpose. I must make sure that this person knows how unfunny their prank actually is.” By this time, Fuji had dropped all pretense of a smile and most of the Regulars had ducked for cover (most of them hiding behind Echizen) as Fuji’s eyes slid open.
It was at this moment that Tezuka remembered the ‘it’ that Echizen, Kikumaru, and Yuuta had been discussing this morning. The more he thought about it, the more positive he became that this whole incident was solely the trio’s fault; however, he knew trying to place the blame on any of them would probably throw Fuji into a rage (even more so than the one he was in at the moment. At least he was still being pleasant - in the loosest interpretation of the word - at the moment) and Tezuka could really kiss talking to Miyuki goodbye. No, he needed to get one of them alone to discuss the matter.
“How exactly do you plan to find the person that wrote the letter, Fuji? Everything you’ve done so far doesn’t seem to have worked.”
Fuji was all smiles again as Tezuka seemed to give in. “I’ll just have to go wait in the park to see who shows up for to meet Echizen. It’s as simple as that really.”
Tezuka sighed. Yes, there was that headache, right on schedule. “Then, why have you been torturing the school all day?”
There was a hint of blue again as Fuji spoke. “It got out that someone was brave enough to give Echizen a valentine. I had to make sure that no one else would decide that they should give him one as well.” Fuji stopped for a moment and sized Tezuka up. “Echizen,” he said to the boy that he had yet to let go of. “You’re going home with Tezuka today while I go find out who did this.”
“Fuji…” Tezuka was beyond grateful that Fuji had made things so easy for him, but he figured that if he didn’t protest, Fuji would become suspicious of him. “I don’t think Echizen wants to…”
“Hai, Fuji-senpai,” Echizen cut Tezuka off and stepped forward. Fuji looked a little disappointed that his after-practice Echizen-time was being cancelled, but he did need to hurry if he was going to make it to the park on time. So, he just quickly kissed Echizen (Tezuka saw Oishi cover Yuuta’s eyes as Fuji’s tongue became involved in the kiss - really there were some things that younger brothers, and everyone one else, were better off not seeing) before leaving the Club House, Yuuta and Kikumaru in tow.
“Eiji, don’t forget to come to the restaurant at seven!” Oishi yelled after his doubles partner (and boyfriend).
“Hoi, hoi!” was the only reply Oishi received as the three teens disappeared from sight. Obviously that was enough for Oishi as the fukubuchou hurried from the Club House soon after, the other Regulars trailing behind.
Soon, only Tezuka and Echizen were left. They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Echizen finally muttered, while pulling his cap further over his eyes, “Momo-senpai usually takes me out for burgers.”
Tezuka said nothing; he only hoisted his tennis bag over his shoulder and left the Club House, Echizen close behind him. When they arrived at the burger joint, Tezuka let Echizen order whatever he wanted (how in the world did one boy eat so much, anyway?) before adding his own order. He decided to wait until they reached his house to discuss the valentine, and Echizen didn’t seem to mind that they didn’t talk at all. Instead, the boy was quickly shoveling his burgers and fries down his throat. Obviously old habits never died (he had been witness to Momoshiro and Kikumaru stealing the freshman’s food more times than he could count, after all). Echizen finished his own food way before Tezuka did, and he stared hungrily at Tezuka’s untouched fries and second burger for a full five minutes before Tezuka finally slid the food over to the freshman with a barely concealed sigh.
Less than ten minutes later, they were on their way to Tezuka’s house. When they arrived, Tezuka let them both in and then shut the door behind them as Echizen toed his shoes off before stepping further into the house. He still said nothing until they were safely in his room, a plate of cookies and two cups of tea before them (courtesy of Tezuka’s mother). Tezuka was actually slightly hoping that Echizen would be the one to bring the valentine up, but the smaller boy (really, would the milk that Inui kept shoving down the freshman’s throat ever kick in?) only stared back at him, lips tilted into a small smirk, with unblinking eyes. Briefly, Tezuka wondered exactly how long it would be before Fuji finished his rampage and came to pick the freshman up. He was due to call Miyuki in two hours, and he wanted to be alone without any type of interruptions while he made that call. It was this thought that finally prompted Tezuka into mentioning the dreaded valentine.
“Echizen, what exactly did you do?” He asked in his buchou-voice (though it wasn’t very different from his normal voice) that suggested if Echizen didn’t tell him the truth right that minute, there would be laps, a lot of laps, in the near future.
The smirk on Echizen’s lips widened (reminding Tezuka that Echizen had never really been afraid of extra laps) as the freshman thought out his answer. “I’m just helping Fuji-senpai find his Valentine’s Day present, Buchou,” Echizen finally replied, suddenly busying himself with digging something out of his tennis bag. A few moments later, Echizen set a basket wrapped in clear plastic on the table between them.
Tezuka blinked in surprise. “You’re present to Fuji is a basket of cookies in the shape of our tennis team’s Regulars?”
“They’re actually wasabi-flavored cookies that Kikumaru-senpai and Oishi-senpai made, and, no, that’s just to get him to forgive me for the letter and get him in the mood for his real present.”
“…”
“Hey, Buchou,” and Echizen’s smirk became even wider. “Do you want to know what his real present is?”
“I think I would be better off not knowing, Echizen.” Tezuka glared at the freshman when Echizen began laughing at him. His glare changed to a look of confusion, however, when Echizen abruptly zipped his tennis bag and stood up, hoisting the bag over his shoulder.
“Tell Fuji-senpai that I’ll be waiting for him at my house.”
“…You’re supposed to stay here.”
Echizen smirked again. “Believe me, Buchou; we’ll all be much happier if he gets his present at my house. Just give him his cookies and if he asks, you can tell him that his present is something he’s been wanting for a long time now.”
Tezuka really didn’t like the implications of that statement, but he only followed the freshman downstairs and waited while Echizen thanked Tezuka’s mother for her hospitality before seeing him out.
Tezuka had just started on his homework when he heard his mother greeting Fuji at the door. Fuji sounded pissed, but at least he was still being polite, at least to adults. Who knew how Fuji would act when he discovered that Echizen was gone. Perhaps he should have called Miyuki to tell her goodbye since Fuji probably wasn’t going to let him live?
At that moment, Tezuka’s door was thrown open and Tezuka was met with the sight of a frowning Fuji with his eyes wide open. When Fuji surveyed Tezuka’s room and came up Echizen-less, his frown grew until Tezuka seriously began to fear for his life. Of course, he didn’t let that show because he knew that Fuji fed on fear.
“Tezuka, where exactly is my boyfriend,” there was a bit of a snarl behind Fuji’s words, and Tezuka cleared his throat before pointing to the cookie basket still sitting on the table of his floor. “That’s not my boyfriend,” Fuji muttered, but he seemed confused enough by the basket that he let the matter drop for a minute as he walked over to the table and picked the basket up.
“They’re wasabi-flavored,” Tezuka pointed out helpfully while glancing at the clock. He only had twenty minutes to get Fuji out of his room before he could call Miyuki.
“They’re…us?” Fuji opened the plastic wrap and surveyed the cookies. “Look, there’s a neko-Eiji and viper-Kaidou. There’s even a burning-Taka-san!”
Eighteen minutes.
“…Where exactly is the Inui-cookie shoving his juice?” Fuji tilted his head to the side in confusion.
“I believe it’s going where everyone wishes the real Inui would shove his juices…”
“Ah…” Fuji stared at the cookies a little longer, smiling softly as he came to the Echizen-cookie with a little crown on top of its hat. Suddenly, the smile dropped as Fuji was reminded of his mission, and Tezuka wished that he could just shove Fuji and the cookies out of his house. “As much as thank you for making these cookies, Tezuka, don’t think they’ll distract me.” Fuji’s eyes flew open again with a chilly glare sent Tezuka’s way. “Where is my boyfriend?”
“I didn’t make the cookies; Kikumaru and Oishi did, apparently. And Echizen said to tell you that he’d be waiting at his house for you.” Fuji froze as he heard those words.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Ah,” Tezuka cleared his throat again. “He said that your present was something that you’ve been waiting a long time for.” Tezuka shuddered as a wide smile spread across Fuji’s lips. Really, he would normally welcome the smile, but not when Fuji still had his eyes wide open. In his experience, he knew the two together were usually disastrous.
Without another word, Fuji wrapped the plastic back around the basket of cookies and headed for Tezuka’s door, basket in tow. However, before he could leave the room, he stopped in the doorway and turned back to Tezuka. “Before I forget, you owe Yukimura a match.” His smile turned rueful.
“Yukimura?”
“Hai. It seems that Eiji, Yuuta, and Ryoma used us to secure a valentine written by Yukimura’s younger sister Saki-chan. Yukimura and his group wouldn’t let me leave until I promised to play both Yukimura and Sanada.”
Tezuka sighed. He knew he shouldn’t ask, but, “Fuji, how exactly did you manage to get to Rikkai and back in three hours?”
“Saa…actually only an hour and a half. It took me a little while to find out who had written the valentine after all. But that’s for me to know, not you. Yukimura will be in touch.”
Tezuka followed Fuji out of his room and to the entrance to his house, all the while trying to figure out how to phrase his next question. He waited for Fuji to slip on his shoes before asking, “Why exactly are you going to Echizen’s house for that? Echizen has made it clear to everyone that Echizen Nanjirou is the biggest pervert. Won’t he bother you?”
“Oh, that.” Fuji’s smile widened a bit. “Echizen’s been staying at my house for the past week. His parents went to America for a visit and Nanako-san is at her parents. His house is perfect, especially since kaa-san would only let Echizen sleep in Yuuta’s room.”
“Fuji, don’t get careless.”
“Hai, Tezuka.” With that, Fuji finally left and Tezuka hurried back to his room. He was supposed to call Miyuki in less than five minutes after all.
***
Ten minutes after Tezuka arrived for tennis practice the next morning, Fuji and Echizen arrived. When Tezuka saw that Fuji had slowed his pace down considerably to match the limping Echizen, Tezuka assigned Fuji fifty laps for getting careless and decided that he really wanted to just forget all about last night, except for his phone call to Miyuki of course.