Fic: The New World
Fic number two, written forever ago it seems. My first and only KH fic. Well, I've started many since then, but have never been able to finish one. BTW, I'm so using the mood on this post b/c I have it, but have never used it. Plus, I really like the picture. lol
Title: The New World
Pairing: Zexion/Demyx
Rating: PG-13
Genre/Warnings: Humor/Crack
Notes: Written for the sex_tour created by dualshine .
Summary: “You know, the Superior might like it if we actually did our work.”
The New World
“Hey, Zexion?”
“What do you want, Demyx?”
“How many worlds does this one make?”
“One hundred and twelve.”
Zexion’s sigh sounded much put upon as he glanced down at his smiling companion. “So, we still have over a hundred left, right?” Demyx asked with his smile so wide that Zexion couldn’t see his eyes anymore. “But then what? Should we start over again?”
“You know, the Superior might like it if we actually did our work.”
Demyx had the gall to look scandalized. “We do our work. Why, at that last world, we turned that hunchback guy into a Nobody. I mean, the nerve of him, barging in on us while we were-“
“Finish that sentence, and I will kill you.”
“-going at it against the bells.” Demyx finished, unperturbed by Zexion’s deadly tone. “So, what’s this world called anyway?”
Zexion quickly scanned down their long list before reaching the one he wanted. “It’s called ‘The New World’. “
“Let me see that!” Demyx snatched the list away from Zexion, sticking his tongue out at the elder Nobody’s protests. “Let’s see, ‘war between Indians and British’! War? Oh, man, Xemnas knows I hate fighting.”
“Call him the Superior.” Zexion interjected.
“I’m much better with peaceful solutions, and why the hell am I wearing a skirt?”
Zexion smirked as he looked Demyx’s outfit over. His clothes were made out of some kind of animal skin, and he only had a pair of pants on with a kind of skirt on over it. He was also barefoot and shirtless. “I don’t know, I think you look pretty good in it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Zexion almost smiled as he pulled the blond closer to him, leaning his head down to kiss the smaller Nobody. Before their lips connected, however, something fell off Zexion’s head and knocked Demyx in the forehead, sending the blond reeling backward.
“What the hell is that?” Demyx yelled, one hand clutching his head in pain, the other pointing accusingly at the metal object on the ground.
Zexion picked the object up and studied it carefully. “It looks like an early version of a helmet. Very heavy -“
“No, shit,” Demyx muttered, rubbing his still aching head.
“-I didn’t even notice I had it on. Hmm…” Zexion took a moment to observe the rest of his outfit - blue trousers, light blue shirt, boots, and a gun slung over a shoulder. “I must be a soldier, and you an Indian. Well, that will work out well for both of us then since we have two targets this time. I will go in search of the soldier John Smith, and you can go find the Indian Pocahontas.”
“I prefer Native American, thank you very much.”
“Just go.”
Demyx really hated working on his own since it meant if there was any fighting involved, he would have to take care of it himself. Though, he liked working by himself more than he liked working with Larxene. That woman liked to start the fighting, and usually dragged him into it one way or another. Of course, he liked working with Zexion the most. Zexion liked to observe their enemies and cause fighting within their own ranks rather than get involved. Plus, the sex was really, really good.
Ever since that night spent in that closet as a Laptop and IPod, the two Nobodies had started accepting any world assignments they could (Demyx much more eagerly than Zexion), beginning what Demyx had affectionately dubbed the ‘World Sex Tour’. The past few months had been the best of his non-life.
“Oh, man, I’m so lost.” Demyx sighed almost an hour later. “If Zexion finishes before me, he’d better not leave me here.”
Really, Demyx could think of a million and one things he would rather be doing at the moment (most of them involving Zexion and some type of penetration), but with his stick-in-the-mud of a boyfriend work always came before play. Seriously, it couldn’t be that hard to find some Indian Princess gallivanting around the forest could it? What else did she have to do besides sing with her little, furry forest creatures?
Hold that thought…
Demyx smirked as he heard his target’s voice a few feet off, rising in pitch as she began to sing. Please, these people make it too easy. And just for the record, I can sing a helluva lot better than that. Amateur. With a wave of his hand, Demyx called a few of his Dancers to him. Man did he love those things. Having them around meant that they could do the fighting, and he could avoid any and all bloodshed, something he was eternally grateful for. Nodding his head toward the woman - what was her name again? Pocamantas? - to signal for the Dancers to go after her, Demyx summoned his sitar, just in case things got out of hand and he had to intervene.
Pocahontas’s voice cut off as she finally noticed the Nobodies heading her way. “Damn, she’s fast!” Demyx watched as the Indian Princess ran away from his Dancers - straight into the canoe sitting in the water next to the river bank. Lips stretching into a smirk, Demyx played a few notes on his sitar, his smirk stretching as the river water reached up - under his command - and yanked the canoe paddle from the Princess before wrapping around her wrist to drag her down into its depths. He nodded to his Dancers to follow the Princess into the river and finish their job.
Twenty minutes later, Demyx banished his sitar and left to search for Zexion in order to claim his ‘prize’ for completing his part of the mission after sending off Pocahontas’s Nobody to Xemnas in The World That Never Was, leaving behind the Princess’ Heartless to wreck havoc on the rest of her world.
Things were going very well for Zexion. Well, besides the slight case of boredom that had set in about thirty minutes ago. Seriously, the settlers were way too easy to manipulate. The people didn’t even know him, yet they were stupid enough to believe him that one of their own was banging the Indian Princess - the fact that this was true was beside the point - and more than willing to turn on said man when Zexion suggested that he should be punished.
Of course, some of the men did side with Smith, which explained the current gunfight in front of him. He summoned a couple of his Nobodies just to add a little more chaos to the mix. “Oi, Zexion!” Pulling his attention away from the fighting, Zexion noticed Demyx across the battlefield, waving cheerfully. This of course pulled all of the settlers’ attention away from the fighting as well. “Ho shit,” Demyx muttered as all of the settler’s stared at him.
Silence reigned before someone yelled out, “kill the Savage!” to which a chorus of agreement followed before all of the men took off after the blond Nobody, his screams of terror trailing behind him as he took off with about fifty men hot on his heels. Leaving Demyx to fend for himself, Zexion sent his Nobodies after Smith, who had used the distraction to flee the other way. He just hoped that Demyx’s cheerful appearance meant that his half of the mission was successfully completed; he really just wanted to get off this world. It, and the smelly, barbaric people on it, made him feel so dirty. Perhaps he would take a hot shower once he returned to The World That Never Was, preferably with Demyx as company. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, least of all said blond Nobody, but he was really starting to enjoy the whole ‘World Sex Tour’ thing.
His Nobodies soon returned, dragging a humanoid Nobody along behind them. Well, about as Human as the lesser Nobodies could look. “I believe you would probably go to Xigbar wouldn’t you?” Zexion mumbled to himself, taking in the Nobody’s gun. He opened up a portal and banished the Nobody through it to The World That Never Was. Xemnas would take over the Nobody from that point on.
“You know *pant* that was so *heave* not fun,” Demyx came to a stop next to Zexion and bent over to catch his breath, his hands resting on his knees as his lungs heaved from their lack of air. “Let’s not do it again.”
“Where are the settlers?” Zexion asked, raising an eyebrow as he critically eyed his partner.
“We ran into a group of Native Americans ‘bout a mile back. They did the whole ‘kill the Savage’ deal again and started shooting. I hightailed it out of there. Man this world sucks.”
“Did you manage to complete your half of the mission?”
“Yeah, already sent her back to Xemnas and everything. What about you?”
“My half has been accomplished as well.” They stood in silence for a few moments before Demyx finally caught his breath. He stood up straight, smiling widely.
“So, I found this talking tree a while back. Nice grandmotherly type. Want to go have sex on it and see if we can scandalize it?”
“Lead the way.”