(no subject)

Oct 05, 2005 14:55

Ok so today was interesting. Exams were okay but I thought I was going to die on analysis. Ive had an A the whole time in their, which is a miracle in itself and then today that ended. So I thought about Kelsey today. I was sitting in Mrs Coopers class and I realized that the last time I was in there taking an exam me and Kelsey were looking at each other frantically hoping to pass. I also thought about how every Monday we went to Plato lab in algebra 2 and me and her would sit next to each other while we practiced on that fcat website or whatever. Well Id guess on everything and it was crazy because everytime the screen was like CORRECT!!! so Id have like 5 out of 5 when I had no idea what I was doing and Kels was liek " Heather how do you do that!!!!! Oh my gosh that's amazing!!!!" It was actually realyl funny. So today I was thinking, how come I can guess every single problem right on fcat explorer but I cant do that on final exams, i mean come on wouldnt that be awesome. It seems unfair that I have that talent on stupid fcat and not on stupid finals.

Maybe I could only do that cuz Kels was my good luck charm, which in that case I better do really good thursday night. Im actually pretty nervous I have to do good so I can prove to myself I still got it. I hate that. Why had 100 fly become such a curse. Im almost afraid to swim it anymore because I feel like Im never going to measure up to what I used to be and Im tired of letting this swimming mentality get to me. Why is it that you always feel like you have something to prove to yourself even when you really dont? I create these things in my head, and it's not like Im going to be a professional swimmer or anything, everyone knows that. I just feel like I need to do this for myself and I never really seem to fulfill it. I really really want to do good tomorrow. It jsut seems like it's easier said than done. It would bea great way to start a great weekend which has pretty much already started for me now that the only exams Im taking are over. Tomorrow is going to be awesome KELS IS COMING!!!! and we're all hanging out after school and then friday will go by fast because there is a pep rally. I cant waitttttt til homecoming oh my gosh!!!!! It's going to be such a good weekend and once the swim meet is over that will be the end of my stress. Why do I do this to myself!!!! I totally did this in club swimming except I was way way worse about it. ive gotten better but it's still there. What is it that makes you do that? Forcing yourself into doing good because if you dont you just feel like something's missing. Ahhhh, I WANT SO BAD TO BE AS GOOD AS I USED TO BE. I do have alot of other good things in my life no wthough that I didnt have backl then, swimming used to be my life. I lived at that indoor pool goodness.

Anyways, all my friends have been so great lately seriously I love you all. Jen Face we are so much alike it's crazy and you have been such a good friend, I can talk to you about anything and I hope you do soccer because Im so glad we're close friends again. Amanda Gosss youre hillarious and rediculous but I love it! You make me laugh soooo much, not that it takes alot, but you make me laugh more than usual and your hairrrr is so prettyyyy how do you get it soooooooo straight lol lol. Cody-youre a spot stealer, but youre awesome and crazy, you and Jen are cute, what a sweetheart. : ) Ana you gave me the best birthday dinner ever lol I love you and yess I have missed you lately, dont worry youre still amazing even though youre ummmmm uh sophmore??? lol JT, you're just fantastic!!!!! I love hanging out with you really and youre a great great guy no matter what and you make me laugh too, even when Im not supposed to be laughing, : ) you rock. KELS!!!!! GIRL WHO IS MY TWIN.....I love you so much and Im so proud of you for what you have done and how you have handled Colorado. I know how you feel and Im so glad we've stayed close since you left. You have been such a good Christian influence on me since the first day of freshman year and I love you 10 times infinite for it!!!!! youve become one of my best friends.... really
I CANT WAIT UNTIL HOMECOMING!!!!!!! and tomorrow is going to be wonderful
Previous post Next post
Up