Too Many Damned Humans
So, Predators, the alien species, are cool. And by cool, I mean totally badass. They are the badasses of the badass planet in the badass nebula. I mean, that's how badass they are. Okay, you know your badass when one of the many hand-to-hand combat techniques you're trained in includes the use of a motherfucking WHIP yo! Yeah, THAT badass. nevermind the two-feet-wide ninja stars, or the double-bladed darth-maul-like switch-sword, or the hand claws, these guys can take your head off with a WHIP!
This is important to note when considering the fact that, for some reason, I went and saw Alien Vs Predator Resurrection in the theaters. Yeah.
So, the premis is the same as any Alien movie, except instead of bumbling human scientists floating in space, it's a bunch of Predators returning from a hunt. So I must admit to liking this bit. Aliens burst free, and, while attempting to kill it, the Predators end up shooting off their engine, and crash land on, of all places, Modern Day Earth!
Now, to have an Alien infestation take place on modern Earth is quite an ambitious plot to undertake, if you ask me, but I think they handled it well. Appropriate suspicions were raised, appropriate authorities called in, including, although the Earthlings didn't really know this, a Predator.
I like predators. I don't know if the first paragraph gave this away or not, but I really do. I like their clever jaw designs (It could really work!) their balls-cool technology, and their SMELL-O-VISION! srsly, one of their screen-modes tracks trails and stuff as if they're using scent.
However, I think the Predator didn't get nearly enough screen time. When he did, he was just a big black tentacly blur of wet leather and metal, much like that which he was fighting, so you couldn't really see anything. As the title says, there were too many damned humans. nearly half the movie focuses on some random friggen Pedestrians. I know, I know, human interest and shit, but c'mon, it's called ALIEN VS PREDATOR somethingsomething. Not ALIEN vs PREDATOR with a bunch of PEOPLE MILLING ABOUT
the movie goes into all this crap about their personal life. Returning army chick is having trouble connecting with her five year old daughter. Pizza delivery boy tries to win the girl of his dreams, but her boyfriend and his two stereotypical wingmen keep getting their fists in the way of his advances. BORING. Even when these people were being predictably and cliche-edly killed off one at a time they were boring. I'm more concerned about the EARTH to worry about you kids.
But this does bring me to a point which comes up for me often... If they want human interest, why don't they tell the story from one point of view? I know, even less Predator, but if it was all told from the Human's point of view, it'd be an awsome mysterious story! A few people go missing, a policeman is found turned inside out, a sewer explodes, gunshots are fired, deaths start happening everywhere, then monsters are roaming the streets, the city's evacuating, and then, just when our Hero (who is probably the Sherif, because he had a big role) is about to die, some other monster comes along and chops the aliens head off with a whip, and dissapears mysteriously! It goes on, we see the newcomer happily engaging the infection of monsters in battle, and, well, I dunno, that sounds cool, doesn't it? Cooler than telling the audience the whole story in the opening scene.
Normally I wouldn't give away the plot like that. But I think, in this case, it's not much of a big deal, because I wouldn't actually recommend anyone to actually SEE this movie. And even if you do, you won't be going for the plot. You'd be going for the Predator, like me.
Oh, and one last thing, the ending? Kinda dissapointing, kinda dramatic at the same time. At least it wasn't the dream sequence ending.
This is important to note when considering the fact that, for some reason, I went and saw Alien Vs Predator Resurrection in the theaters. Yeah.
So, the premis is the same as any Alien movie, except instead of bumbling human scientists floating in space, it's a bunch of Predators returning from a hunt. So I must admit to liking this bit. Aliens burst free, and, while attempting to kill it, the Predators end up shooting off their engine, and crash land on, of all places, Modern Day Earth!
Now, to have an Alien infestation take place on modern Earth is quite an ambitious plot to undertake, if you ask me, but I think they handled it well. Appropriate suspicions were raised, appropriate authorities called in, including, although the Earthlings didn't really know this, a Predator.
I like predators. I don't know if the first paragraph gave this away or not, but I really do. I like their clever jaw designs (It could really work!) their balls-cool technology, and their SMELL-O-VISION! srsly, one of their screen-modes tracks trails and stuff as if they're using scent.
However, I think the Predator didn't get nearly enough screen time. When he did, he was just a big black tentacly blur of wet leather and metal, much like that which he was fighting, so you couldn't really see anything. As the title says, there were too many damned humans. nearly half the movie focuses on some random friggen Pedestrians. I know, I know, human interest and shit, but c'mon, it's called ALIEN VS PREDATOR somethingsomething. Not ALIEN vs PREDATOR with a bunch of PEOPLE MILLING ABOUT
the movie goes into all this crap about their personal life. Returning army chick is having trouble connecting with her five year old daughter. Pizza delivery boy tries to win the girl of his dreams, but her boyfriend and his two stereotypical wingmen keep getting their fists in the way of his advances. BORING. Even when these people were being predictably and cliche-edly killed off one at a time they were boring. I'm more concerned about the EARTH to worry about you kids.
But this does bring me to a point which comes up for me often... If they want human interest, why don't they tell the story from one point of view? I know, even less Predator, but if it was all told from the Human's point of view, it'd be an awsome mysterious story! A few people go missing, a policeman is found turned inside out, a sewer explodes, gunshots are fired, deaths start happening everywhere, then monsters are roaming the streets, the city's evacuating, and then, just when our Hero (who is probably the Sherif, because he had a big role) is about to die, some other monster comes along and chops the aliens head off with a whip, and dissapears mysteriously! It goes on, we see the newcomer happily engaging the infection of monsters in battle, and, well, I dunno, that sounds cool, doesn't it? Cooler than telling the audience the whole story in the opening scene.
Normally I wouldn't give away the plot like that. But I think, in this case, it's not much of a big deal, because I wouldn't actually recommend anyone to actually SEE this movie. And even if you do, you won't be going for the plot. You'd be going for the Predator, like me.
Oh, and one last thing, the ending? Kinda dissapointing, kinda dramatic at the same time. At least it wasn't the dream sequence ending.