blah
today was your normal, average day except that i was tired and again, not hungry. i got invited to tag along with kyle and lauren to go to scott's house and ddr. but, my parents decided to not let me go because of really inhumane reasons in my opinion, but instead of voicing how i felt like i've been trying to do lately, i just closed off. it's how i used to deal with things...
i don't know. erin said justin despises me. it's been 2 frickin years justin, get over it, would you? well that's just fine. but she also said she wasn't allowed to talk to me at prom.
not allowed to talk to me?
who the crap does he think he is? telling erin who to talk to and who not to.
god it makes me sick.
i feel so upset...anxious almost. all the time. sad too..underneath my happiness, there's always this sadness that haunts me every day. even at prom (which was the most fun i've had in a while) i went off by myself like 5 times because i felt down on myself or depressed or some crap like that.
god, what's up? i don't get it. i'm trying. it's not working.
i got lady macbeth when we were assigned our parts. you know what i was thinking while she was reading out the parts? "you know self, it would be cool if i was lady macbeth...yeah that would be pretty swell"...i got lady macbeth, which rocked my socks.
so. saw chris today, completely ignored me.
it's straight, don't care.
saw mark...he looked so tired, bummed out or something i don't know. hope i didn't do anything. probably did. what the heck. i like him. i gotta screw it up somehow don't i?
scott's got a girlfriend now, carrie, and i think they're good for eachother. carrie's a strong girl, she can handle him.
scott and me are still really good friends despite the fact that my parents don't trust him (over a stupid reason) but first impressions last with them i guess. i live under their roof, so. i like mark. i jump when i think of him. at least my heart does once or twice. i'm not getting in over my head. not for a while. the first guy i liked that liked me was scott. i fell for mark in the beginning of the year--the kt thing went down..so did my wishes for mark. but, should i let my feelings go so easily? me and chris have only been broken up about a month. don't think we'll even be friends. not in the next 5 years at least.
i don't know what to do.
i just don't know.
i don't know. erin said justin despises me. it's been 2 frickin years justin, get over it, would you? well that's just fine. but she also said she wasn't allowed to talk to me at prom.
not allowed to talk to me?
who the crap does he think he is? telling erin who to talk to and who not to.
god it makes me sick.
i feel so upset...anxious almost. all the time. sad too..underneath my happiness, there's always this sadness that haunts me every day. even at prom (which was the most fun i've had in a while) i went off by myself like 5 times because i felt down on myself or depressed or some crap like that.
god, what's up? i don't get it. i'm trying. it's not working.
i got lady macbeth when we were assigned our parts. you know what i was thinking while she was reading out the parts? "you know self, it would be cool if i was lady macbeth...yeah that would be pretty swell"...i got lady macbeth, which rocked my socks.
so. saw chris today, completely ignored me.
it's straight, don't care.
saw mark...he looked so tired, bummed out or something i don't know. hope i didn't do anything. probably did. what the heck. i like him. i gotta screw it up somehow don't i?
scott's got a girlfriend now, carrie, and i think they're good for eachother. carrie's a strong girl, she can handle him.
scott and me are still really good friends despite the fact that my parents don't trust him (over a stupid reason) but first impressions last with them i guess. i live under their roof, so. i like mark. i jump when i think of him. at least my heart does once or twice. i'm not getting in over my head. not for a while. the first guy i liked that liked me was scott. i fell for mark in the beginning of the year--the kt thing went down..so did my wishes for mark. but, should i let my feelings go so easily? me and chris have only been broken up about a month. don't think we'll even be friends. not in the next 5 years at least.
i don't know what to do.
i just don't know.