my life...
this weekend has been amazing. scott and i had several deep, meaningful conversations. they're my very most favorite. we talked about jesus and church and corruption of the church, and genuine=ness of the church. i really enjoyed it. and we decided to take the physical aspect down a notch or two. just because it gets dangerous when you're so deeply in love. i'm so glad we are on the same...level? thinking sphere? hehe.
we went shopping for christmas presents and got nanny a humongous frosty stuffed cute scarfed thing. i picked him out, and then scott was all "nanny TOTALLY wanted that, let's go in here" before i had the chance to tell him i wanted to get it for her. and then i found that i left my other 20 at home. LAME. lame lame lame.
which means he totally had to pay for most of it.
i felt so so bad.
and i sucked at DDR.
wow i suck at DDR.
i couldn't hear the music at all. because my ears are so add. i'm not even joking. i have a.d.d. of the hearing. i can't concentrate when it's too loud or too quiet. because if it's too quiet my ears try to find something to listen to, and if it's too loud, they try to multitask, which doesn't work for DDR. oh well. you don't really quite care do you?
why am i so pissy at some people? they didn't bother me too much before. but now the immature selfish superficiality is really starting to get on my nerves. i can't stand superficiality and arrogance.
a pristine example of superficiality is Chris Appleton.
ohoooo my god that kid has a problem. he told me once that he isn't happy unless he's getting something new. he needed to save up for something and he decideed that no, that wasn't important at all, he needed to buy new shoes. so he did, and then he returned them because they weren't new anymore so he didn't like them anymore. and wow. that amazes me. just because i'm so different. and maybe i'm just strange, i probably am. my heart is different. it wants to take the burn for others. which is unhealthy and wrong, just as much as trying to blame others for the burn. because i shouldn't WANT to take the blame just so someone won't get in trouble. and i guess it's a good thing that i know this. that i can realize it...and that's the first step to changing a little bit so i won't get hurt so often. my heart is so so soft. it's so sensitive. there are defense walls around it, but little things seep through and i feel stabbing pains in my chest. like when mark says something douche-ish
or when rob spits on my art.
or when people make fun of me dating scott, because they don't know him and they talk to rob, and rob is an asshole who thinks he owns the world and no one could POSSIBLY be as cool as rob. whatever. whatever rob.
we went shopping for christmas presents and got nanny a humongous frosty stuffed cute scarfed thing. i picked him out, and then scott was all "nanny TOTALLY wanted that, let's go in here" before i had the chance to tell him i wanted to get it for her. and then i found that i left my other 20 at home. LAME. lame lame lame.
which means he totally had to pay for most of it.
i felt so so bad.
and i sucked at DDR.
wow i suck at DDR.
i couldn't hear the music at all. because my ears are so add. i'm not even joking. i have a.d.d. of the hearing. i can't concentrate when it's too loud or too quiet. because if it's too quiet my ears try to find something to listen to, and if it's too loud, they try to multitask, which doesn't work for DDR. oh well. you don't really quite care do you?
why am i so pissy at some people? they didn't bother me too much before. but now the immature selfish superficiality is really starting to get on my nerves. i can't stand superficiality and arrogance.
a pristine example of superficiality is Chris Appleton.
ohoooo my god that kid has a problem. he told me once that he isn't happy unless he's getting something new. he needed to save up for something and he decideed that no, that wasn't important at all, he needed to buy new shoes. so he did, and then he returned them because they weren't new anymore so he didn't like them anymore. and wow. that amazes me. just because i'm so different. and maybe i'm just strange, i probably am. my heart is different. it wants to take the burn for others. which is unhealthy and wrong, just as much as trying to blame others for the burn. because i shouldn't WANT to take the blame just so someone won't get in trouble. and i guess it's a good thing that i know this. that i can realize it...and that's the first step to changing a little bit so i won't get hurt so often. my heart is so so soft. it's so sensitive. there are defense walls around it, but little things seep through and i feel stabbing pains in my chest. like when mark says something douche-ish
or when rob spits on my art.
or when people make fun of me dating scott, because they don't know him and they talk to rob, and rob is an asshole who thinks he owns the world and no one could POSSIBLY be as cool as rob. whatever. whatever rob.