Turnn and face the straaaange....
Sooooo,
I cut my hair... pretty short... like right under my ears short HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was thinking today about how i might just be intensely unhappy inside no matter what was going on outside, and i decided to get rid of a part of myself. To cut off some metaphoric weight from my the chain i have tied to my leg, i.e. the past. My long hair was like my prize, the thing i tried to keep looking good for people. And now that i dont need to it was like a constant reminder of everything that made me happy before that makes me want to kill myself now. So i cut it all off, died it a hazel blonde color and am waiting for change to hit me. Maybe to give me some sort of boost. Idk, its worth a try now that its worthless to me. I like the look. I hope it makes me appear more lesbian than everyone assumes i'm not. I think i'm putting girls off by being so feminine and its not fair, i really need to meet someone to make me forget.
I've also decided to delete my lj once again, because once again i'm not able to express what i really want to without hurting/causing problems for someone else. That is also not fair, but whatever. One more sacrifice wont kill me if it hasnt already. I'm opening a xanga probably for those who want to read it email me or something and i'll give you the name but i wont be posting it here. So if you need the email address ask please. I have enjoyed my livejournal, and i'm really going to miss it now more than before. Thanks to those who read it, and responded with sympathy/concern/interest that was constructive to it.
Ciao and love always,
Emily<<33
I cut my hair... pretty short... like right under my ears short HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I was thinking today about how i might just be intensely unhappy inside no matter what was going on outside, and i decided to get rid of a part of myself. To cut off some metaphoric weight from my the chain i have tied to my leg, i.e. the past. My long hair was like my prize, the thing i tried to keep looking good for people. And now that i dont need to it was like a constant reminder of everything that made me happy before that makes me want to kill myself now. So i cut it all off, died it a hazel blonde color and am waiting for change to hit me. Maybe to give me some sort of boost. Idk, its worth a try now that its worthless to me. I like the look. I hope it makes me appear more lesbian than everyone assumes i'm not. I think i'm putting girls off by being so feminine and its not fair, i really need to meet someone to make me forget.
I've also decided to delete my lj once again, because once again i'm not able to express what i really want to without hurting/causing problems for someone else. That is also not fair, but whatever. One more sacrifice wont kill me if it hasnt already. I'm opening a xanga probably for those who want to read it email me or something and i'll give you the name but i wont be posting it here. So if you need the email address ask please. I have enjoyed my livejournal, and i'm really going to miss it now more than before. Thanks to those who read it, and responded with sympathy/concern/interest that was constructive to it.
Ciao and love always,
Emily<<33