The "And Factor"
I've recently been trying to figure out the types of women that hold my attraction. One predominant thing that has come to mind, is what I call the "And Factor." In short, it's the answer I get when I ask someone "what do you want to do with you life?" 
I saw a lot of this while trying to use the online dating services. I would meet someone, start a conversation, and get around to asking them what they wanted out of life. Unfortunately, most of them had answers like "I want to be a school teacher," or "I want to be a social worker." Now I'm not saying these professions are bad, or wrong, or even that I couldn't be involved with someone that is doing one of these professions. The problem lies at a more basic level. They want "this." Nothing more, nothing less. The thought of this is even worse when they already have it, but that's beside the point.
I fascinated by someone that says "I want to do this, AND I want to try this, AND maybe this, AND well, this is kinda interesting too." In fact, this isn't just someone that I'm just fascinated by, or "interested" in. This is the type of person I'm down-right passionate about. This is the woman that has real dreams, and has thought about how to make them come true. She's not just in the "get a job, get married, pop out some kids, and that's all to life" routine.
I guess this goes back to my concept of what a perfect relationship would be. In my world, her dreams are just as important as mine. And let me tell you, my dreams are pretty damned important. But again, that's what I see as "the perfect relationship." Two people that come together, love and care for each other, and spend the rest of their lives chasing their dreams. Sometimes those dreams will be shared between the two of us, sometimes they will be independent. In the end it doesn't matter. Both of us would be working to make those dreams a reality. We're not just succumbing to the easiest outcome we can achieve. Instead we're stating to the world "this is our life, this is who we are, this is what we want to do, and there's no reason why we can't do it!"
Oh, and this "And Factor" doesn't just go for romantic involvements. This goes for just about everyone important in my life. You've got to have dreams, and you've got to be pursuing them because that's probably how I'm going to interact with you. I like helping my friends pursue their dreams, mostly for purely selfish reasons. It makes me feel good! I want them to be happy, and joyful, and full of energy, because that makes me happy, and joyful, and full of energy.
So yea, if you want to be in my life, you better have some of that "And Factor" going on.
Shane
I saw a lot of this while trying to use the online dating services. I would meet someone, start a conversation, and get around to asking them what they wanted out of life. Unfortunately, most of them had answers like "I want to be a school teacher," or "I want to be a social worker." Now I'm not saying these professions are bad, or wrong, or even that I couldn't be involved with someone that is doing one of these professions. The problem lies at a more basic level. They want "this." Nothing more, nothing less. The thought of this is even worse when they already have it, but that's beside the point.
I fascinated by someone that says "I want to do this, AND I want to try this, AND maybe this, AND well, this is kinda interesting too." In fact, this isn't just someone that I'm just fascinated by, or "interested" in. This is the type of person I'm down-right passionate about. This is the woman that has real dreams, and has thought about how to make them come true. She's not just in the "get a job, get married, pop out some kids, and that's all to life" routine.
I guess this goes back to my concept of what a perfect relationship would be. In my world, her dreams are just as important as mine. And let me tell you, my dreams are pretty damned important. But again, that's what I see as "the perfect relationship." Two people that come together, love and care for each other, and spend the rest of their lives chasing their dreams. Sometimes those dreams will be shared between the two of us, sometimes they will be independent. In the end it doesn't matter. Both of us would be working to make those dreams a reality. We're not just succumbing to the easiest outcome we can achieve. Instead we're stating to the world "this is our life, this is who we are, this is what we want to do, and there's no reason why we can't do it!"
Oh, and this "And Factor" doesn't just go for romantic involvements. This goes for just about everyone important in my life. You've got to have dreams, and you've got to be pursuing them because that's probably how I'm going to interact with you. I like helping my friends pursue their dreams, mostly for purely selfish reasons. It makes me feel good! I want them to be happy, and joyful, and full of energy, because that makes me happy, and joyful, and full of energy.
So yea, if you want to be in my life, you better have some of that "And Factor" going on.
Shane