Protect you for Always Chapter 3 and Epilogue

[swindleslog]

Title: Protect You For Always Chapter 3 - Never Yours
Characters: Skyfire/Skywarp, Skyfire/Starscream
Description: Skywarp has a nasty crash and finds himself heavily damaged in the middle of nowhere. Skyfire comes to his rescue, if you call being tied up rescued. Skywarp is carefully cared for and repaired by a very gentle giant, but what's the motive here? What's really going on? Non-sticky, T, alot of unwanted physical affection, but no consummation. WARNINGS - Usual triggers, and some unseen violence.
Original Prompt: Found here.



Skywarp flinched away as liquid poured over his helm, splattering and running down his frame in thick streams. Behind him, the shuttle was whistling cheerfully. He could hear him ringing out his cloth, excess liquid pattering to the ground like light rain. They were spending far more time cleaning his thighs then he felt strictly necessary. Impatiently, Skywarp twisted his wrists against the rod he was bound to, tugging and making grunts of displeasure. He had had enough of being stroked and pawed at today already, and the shuttle had only been there for a little while. They hadn't even gotten to his fragging feeding time yet.

He had been trying to restrain himself the past few days, but he was already in the mood to bite. Fighting meant more time being coddled. He felt like he'd spent forever being cradled and endlessly shushed.

One last wipe at a seam, and he felt the shuttle shift. "There!" came a proud exclamation. More shuffling, and now a towel was being rubbed fast and vigorous around Skywarp's waist, but still so very carefully. The shuttle was always oh so disgustingly careful. Over his wings, down his back, up his cockpit, under his arms. Rub rub rub, into every groove and corner. Skywarp hunched, but did not flinch. He couldn't get away or draw in on himself, so there wasn't much he could do to fight, even if he could still muster up the bravado to do it.

The towel was thrown over his head with a laugh. "Sulky seeker. Come on, that wasn't so awful." Skywarp huffed and shimmied his shoulders, trying to get the towel off until the shuttle took pity and pulled it back, chuckling. Arms wrapped around him, enclosing him, but not confining. The autobot had been very careful about that ever since the escape attempt.

"I miss you when I have to go back to everyone, did you know that? I wish I could bring you with me, but I don't think they're ready for that yet." Skywarp twisted his head away from where the shuttle was resting his chin on it, and felt an engine rumble in amusement. "I don't suppose you're really ready for that yourself. Oh well. We should be just fine as we are for a long time anyway. And this way I don't have to share, either."

They stayed like that for a bit, no talking, and no squirming, well, at least no squirming from one of them. The shuttle had started delicately scratching at Skywarp's seams when he'd ceased to speak, and Skywarp found the sensation ticklish. He kept twitching away where he could, grunting and very unamused. It was worse when the shuttle wasn't making any noise. That usually meant he was thinking about things, and Skywarp didn't like that.

"Such a twitchy thing, pretty wings." More laughter at his expense, big, grinning mouth pressed to the side of his neck. If the vibrations and warm air didn't make him shudder, the proximity certainly did. Big hands strayed again, fingers probing the swivels of his shoulder, the plains of his upper arm. The hot ventilation and the wide mouth dissappeared from his neck, and Skywarp twisted his head, uncertain. The shuttle slid his hands down to the seeker's waist again, squeezing, and he felt him lean up and to the side. Spreading his fingers, the shuttle managed to make his hands encompass most of Skywarp's upper chassis, waist to chest vents, thumbs sliding under where wings connected to back.

Teeth grazed the tip of his damaged wing, and Skywarp hissed, made to flinch and found himself held still, the shuttle's hands becoming confining. "Hush," one word, lips whispering against the same tip before they closed over it and sucked. Skywarp's lower body bucked in response, and he bellowed out something between a growl and a moan. Hadn't he been molested enough already? At least for today?

"Stop squirming, you'll jerk your wings." An arm thicker than both of Skywarp's legs combined wrapped around his chest and held him close, leaving the shuttle free to rub with his opposite hand. He kissed a pattern down the far edge of Skywarp's wing, then let him go, but not before stroking up the expanse of his left side and following the line of his body out to his left wing tip, which he gave a squeeze. Skywarp shimmied in place, uncomfortable and hot. He did not, by any means, want the molestation to continue, but having his wings' tips and edges fondled without having any attention payed to their centre or moorings left him feeling wanting and unfullfilled. He just wasn't an 'around the edges' sort of mech.

Keeping one arm wrapped around his charge, the shuttle reached over to undo one wrist, and then the other. Skywarp rocked with him as he did this, held closely as he was. He didn't even bother to fight when both wrists were free- no point when he was already firmly in hand. The shuttle used his free arm to scoop up his cargo's legs, under his aft, carrying him in a somewhat seated position. It made Skywarp feel very small.

A slow shift of mass told him the autobot was leaning over to deposit him on the berth, and Skywarp pushed down the urge to tense up. Escape attempts were still futile, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to make them. Who knew when one would actually work? Even discounting that, Skywarp had figured out that his captor only had so long to spend with him each visit, and the more of that time he could waste with the mundanities of getting pinned down and restrained, the less time he got tortured with feeding and petting and the usual gentle horror. As soon as he was laid flat and the shuttle lifted himself, Skywarp lurched forward. Instantaneously, the shuttle had him flattened down beneath his bulk, effectively immobile. Skywarp knew that attempt had been abortive from the start, but he still squirmed and huffed his displeasure.

"You're such a silly thing, pretty wings. I don't know where you think you're going when you do that, you can't walk, let alone-"

"Pretty wings? Is that what you're calling me now?"

Jailer and captive froze in unison. Was that- no. Maybe?

"You most assuredly never called me that back when we were partners. And certainly not to my face. I'd have torn such a strip off you..."

Skywarp could hear footsteps now, and there was only one mech with a voice exactly like that. The shuttle shook above him. Hands squeezed around Skywarp's arms, pressure stopping just before his armour would have buckled.

"Skyfire."

The shuttle hunched.

"Skyfire, look at me. You know who I am. You know that's not who you have pinned to that birth."

Still the big autobot crouched. Besides the shaking, Skywarp hadn't felt him so much as flinch.

"Look at me Skyfire."

Nothing from his captor. Skywarp squawked, letting Starscream know he was still conscious and there.

"Shut up Skywarp. Skyfire- Look. At. Me."

Skywarp was offended at being told to be quiet after feeling abandoned so long, and started to squawk again-

"SKYWARP. Silence yourself immediately! This is between myself and the autobot, and if you interrupt again, you will face the consequences. Do you understand me!"

Chastened, Skywarp fell still. He didn't feel this was at all fair, but Starscream's tone had changed. Maybe he really didn't want to get in the middle of whatever this was, despite being already so entangled.

"Look at me. Right. Now."

He couldn't remember the last time he had heard Starscream so quietly, calmly enraged. Skywarp felt a chill grip his spark. The malice he heard was not directed at him, but its presence alone kicked his programing into sending him warning pings. His Commander's tone was enough to cause the shuttle to finally move and twist in his direction.

Silence fell for an uncomfortably long time, then-

"You knew that was not me. You knew it wasn't when you first took him, and even if you didn't, you would have figured it out long before now. Why did you take him when it was me you were after? And you were after me. You've been watching my mechs for months- all the one's with my frame type. I saw you. Don't look so shocked- I noticed, and I waited."

The shuttle- Skyfire- was cycling air faster now, his frame heating in panic. Skywarp wanted to squirm, but didn't dare.

"As soon as Skywarp didn't turn up with the other casualties, I suspected I knew where he was. When he still hadn't been found after a few days, I was sure. I just didn't know where you were keeping him. Had a devil of a time rooting you out- you shuttles are so very fast. I knew you wouldn't hurt him, and that you had no intention of ever letting him go. What I don't know, what I want to know, is why him? Out of all of us, why did you take him?"

Thumbs stroked Skywarp's arms, and big fingers kneaded his plating worriedly. He couldn't see, but he tried to twist his head around, tried to get Starscream in range of his proximity sensors, but the shuttle was so big, his plating so dense he could find little but the mountain of autobot over him. He squirmed, discomfited. Starscream wasn't talking, and he could move so quietly when he wanted to, like a cat stalking its prey. Had he moved? Where was he no-

"Get up."

Both shuttle and seeker just about jumped out of their plating when Starscream hissed right at their side.

"You get up and you look at me."

Skywarp flattened himself to the berth when the shuttle tensed over him, cables taught as he lifted himself. More noise as Skyfire shuffled his way around and to where Starscream was, seething, waiting, quiet.

Shifting, one big foot to the other. Large limbs moving, the sound of metal on metal. Rubbing his arms maybe? Three sets of vents- one high and steady. That was Starscream, angry and trying to keep it in check. Deep and erratic- that would be the shuttle. And his own, huffing unsteadily, wary and confused.

"Well? I'm waiting. You know how I hate delays."

More shuffling, large vents huffing on and off, before settling into a hum.

"I just wanted to have him. I just wanted to keep him safe. With me."

The voice was so quiet, Skywarp could barely hear, despite being so close. Everyone had gone still.

"I-"

Metal shaking, hitting together delicately. Starscream waited with a patience contrary to his nature for the shuttle to continue.

"I wanted you. I wanted you so badly. So, so badly. Wanted you with me. Wanted you away from all that fighting, all the hurting all that war. That wasn't supposed to be there. It had been so long, and you were finally there again, finally back. My friend. My partner. But the war was here, from nowhere, and it'd just- You were different. It was hurting you. It changed you."

"And I wanted you- I wanted you back. I wanted to take you away from all those things hurting you, corrupting you. You were so clever and new and excited about everything when I knew you, when it was before. And then you found me, and you woke me up and you fixed me, and I knew you still cared, and I still cared, but it-"

"It wasn't the same."

"No," Starscream spoke up, at last. But part of the anger had left, and he was quiet too. "No, I bet it wasn't."

"I was confused, but I thought you'd have picked the right side, if there was a war. You were so clever, so good. You were different, but I had faith. I followed you. But then, somehow, that was wrong. They were hurting people- you were hurting people. That wasn't my Starscream. You'd gotten all wrong. It'd all- you'd gotten all twisted, somehow. And I tried to do the right thing, and we fought, and I- I don't hate you, I can't hate you, but you shot me. You shot me. And then I was cold again, and there was snow and ice, and I was so afraid, and there was no one again, no one to help me, no one to get me out, and I was afraid and more alone then I'd ever been- and then there was nothing."

"But they came for me- the autobots. They came back. And they dug me up, and asked for my help, and I gave it. And they took me in, they trusted me, gave me new friends, new purpose. And I'm- I pretend to be happy. I'll pretend to be happy until I am happy. Like smiling when you're upset until your face fools your mind into believing it feels fine. But you weren't there. And sometimes- sometimes we'd have to fight you. Hurt you like war hurt you."

"That's war Skyfire. It's what it does, and it's what you have to do. I am on the opposing side. We are supposed to fight. It is not a personal matter at this point."

"But it was hurting you. I didn't- I didn't want it to be- to be hurting you. I didn't- I didn't know how, didn't know what to do. And every night, it would torment me. Not being able to help you. Not being able to fix it, fix it all. And then I realised- sometimes people can go missing. It's a big planet. It's a big solar system. People go missing. There are places com. lines can't pass. There are places sonar won't work. People go missing."

"I decided I would save you. I had to save you. I would save you, and hide you, and keep you safe. Keep you away from all the things that hurt you, that changed you. And I would fix you. I would fix you so it was like nothing had ever hurt you. And I wouldn't let anything ever hurt you again."

"But you didn't take me, did you?"

Silence, then a big gust of air, but the Shuttle was quiet again.

"You didn't take me. You chose deliberately not to. And that leaves me wondering- Why? Why Skywarp?"

The shuttle's vents sped up again now. Erratic and nervous.

Starscream waited.

And waited.

Skywarp wanted to squirm, but he still didn't dare interrupt.

"I couldn't. I just- I couldn't. Not to you. Never to you."

"I just-no. You'd hate it, you'd hate me. More than you do, more than I can imagine. I just- I couldn't keep you caged like that. No. You've always been your own, you've always been free in your decisions, no matter what, the consequences, the obstacles. You didn't care. You never cared. Everything about you, everything that is you, is your independence. Your freedom. And if I took that from you- if I did that- I just couldn't. Not to you. Never, never to you."

"So I looked for another way. It wouldn't be you, it couldn't ever be you. It just had to be close enough. Something I could have. Something I could take away, and keep safe, and fix and care about. And no one would hurt it, no one would take it away. It would be mine. And it wouldn't be you, but maybe- maybe I could pretend. And I could- I could have that. I could pretend. And it wasn't the same, but it- It didn't hurt so much to see you, after I found him. It was never painless, but it did not hurt so badly. I couldn't keep you safe, but I had something. And no one would hurt him. No one."

"He would be mine. Just mine. And he would be safe."

"But why Skywarp? There are others- you have access to Cybertron. There are mechs there who are almost nameless, they're so low in the ranks. Why this mech? Why him?"

Another uncomfortable silence, then-

"He... he's expressive. Like you are. He doesn't hide his feelings. As long as he couldn't talk- he wasn't you, couldn't think like you, but if he couldn't talk- the other one, the blue one. He's smarter, like you, but he doesn't- it's not you without the fire, with this one- I could-"

"You could pretend. I see. I cannot say I find it flattering that you find my closest comparison is one of the stupider of my soldiers."

Skywarp had to bite back a bark of objection.

"It was never about- I didn't-"

"Be quiet."

The shuttle fell instantly silent.

"So- was prolonging his injuries part of keeping him safe then?"

"I- I didn't- I never-"

"He wouldn't be able to fly, but he's been gone for weeks. Self repair would have fixed him enough to be on his feet by now."

"No, no that's not-"

"Lying never suited you, you've always been atrocious at it. Are you quite done?"

Silence.

"Good. He obviously can't talk- I suppose you find him easier to make believe with when he cannot babble inanities. Though I find the idea offensive, I guess that you find the broken vocalizer closer to my voice than silence too. He hasn't gotten up yet, and I'm betting it's because he can't. Either his equilibrium is off, or there is something wrong with his substructure. I wouldn't put it past you to have made it both. Anything to make him easier to handle, correct? Less force on your part means less chance of hurting him by accident."

A sigh. Metal stroking metal. Skywarp could almost see Starscream rubbing his face, like he would when he was feeling torn of frustrated with no one to properly channel it at.

"You are ill. You have frost damage. I should kill you for this, here, and now, but it's not really your fault. I suspect it was the more recent freezing that did this to you, but I cannot be sure it was not the previous time. The time that I lost you. And that- that would make part of this my own fault."

"I- I'm not sick. I've never been- this is something I needed-"

"No. You don't go out of your way to cause damage for your own gain. You don't objectify people the way you've done to Skywarp over there. That is not you. What you have done, is deified me. You have made me, in your mind, into some kind of untouchable, perfect thing. I was not, nor have I ever been. And I was so incredibly special to you, so painfully right, that you had to find somewhere else to focus your devotion. Something to fawn over and obsess about. These are feelings of possessiveness and delusion. Clear symptoms of someone suffering from frost damage to the logic and emotional centers of their outlying processors. This all seems right to you because you are ill."

"NO- no you don't understand, I need him, you can't-!"

The tell-tale click clack of thrusters on the rock floor, coming closer to the berth. Skywarp twisted around, manoeuvring himself closer.

"I am going to call for assistance, and I am going to take him home-"

"NO!"

Skywarp lurched backward as the pounding mass of the shuttle lurched toward them, and the resulting clang nearly made him jump off the berth.

Then there was another slam.

A sound that was undeniably the kick of a thruster.

The solid sound of a fist meeting a faceplate.

A loud, hard whump as something very big fell down. And then there was hitting, and kicking, and violence.

"You do not TOUCH me! You do not ever, ever so much as THINK about it. How dare you? How DARE you? Do you think I don't know that that could have easily been me over there? If you had come across me, instead of him, that I would have been the one blind and helpless and trapped? If you had been just slightly less damaged, just enough to not see me as so, so HOLY, that you would have not done the same to me? Don't you TOUCH ME!"

It stopped. The shuttle did not moan, but Skywarp could hear something drip, drip onto the ground. He could hear Starscream shuddering, venting hard and over-exerted.

A few steps were taken. When next Starscream spoke, it was in a voice Skywarp had never heard him use before; sad, regretful, and hurting.

"You are ill. You are going to go home now, and you will tell your medic that you think you are damaged. That you've been feeling unsure and confusing, strong feelings since they pulled you out of the ice. If he's as good as I've heard, he'll be able to ask you the right questions from that information alone. As for your physical injuries you will tell him you got them from a run in with myself- you won't be covering with a lie that way, and they won't discover the truth. And he'll fix you. Frost damage is not irreversible- you will be back to your old self soon."

"Now get out. You are sick, and I don't want you to so much as look at me again, or I will pick your face apart, piece, by piece, by piece. And I will tell all your little friends exactly how sick you are. No one, no one is to know what you've been doing the past few weeks. Return later, and destroy all evidence in this cave."

Shuddering, hitching vents. "I- I'm so- please, I'm sor-"

"Just go."

The scrap of metal on stone, heavy, dragging footsteps. The sound of gears grinding and limbs transforming. The boom of a powerful engine, and the shuttle was gone.

A hard clang and limbs adjusting to the floor where they'd collapsed. Starscream rubbing his face again. Skywarp waited as patiently as he could, until he could take no more. He huffed and got himself onto his elbows and shimmied over to the edge of the berth closest to Starscream, and made a polite huff.

He heard the soft clink of Starscream's plating as he jumped in surprise.

"Oh, right."

Shifting as he got to his feet, then limping footsteps to just outside the cave.

"Thundercracker, I need you to come to my location. If anyone asks, you are on a solo patrol for me. I'm going to give you a list of things I need you to bring. Keep them out of sight in your subspace."

"When you get here, don't say a word. Just give me a hand."

Epilogue

"Starscream, I want to see."

"I'll get to that. Stop squirming. I need to fix this before I get to your optical array."

"Starscream, you're being weird, and I want to see. Don't talk to me like I wasn't there. My audials are fine, I heard the whole thing. Just let me see. I've been blind forever!"

"I fixed the connection to your teleportation hardware didn't I? You can tell where everything is around you again, it's not like you're properly blind. Just let us fix you up a bit, then you and I are going to med bay. They'll fix up your, well, your everything, and recalibrate my knuckles and wrists. Just calm down."

"All you two are doing is using stripping compounds and paint. That's not a medical necessity. I'm not stupid Starscream, I know why you want this kept secret, I'm not gonna blab. I just want to see what you're doing."

"No."

"Damn it, I have the right to know! Starscream, let me see!"

"I said no. I can undo the work I just did on your vocalizer, you know."

"Starscream."

Thundercracker, ever quiet, always the listener, finally spoke up. Skywarp could have hugged him and given him two weeks of rations for this.

"With all due respect, he was stuck there, with your old friend, for weeks, and weeks, enduring Primus knows how much disturbing shit. Just let him see. If he hasn't already guessed, he probably has a good idea."

Something fell with a plop to Skywarp's left, where Starscream stood behind his wing. He heard him grunt, then stomp and limp over to his work bench.

"If we're doing this, go find something reflective for him to look into. You wanted to see Skywarp? Fine, you can see."

Skywarp could pick up Starscream in his proximity and positioning scanners as he layed a series of instruments onto a tray and brought them over to where Skywarp sat, waiting. Thundercracker continued to rummage as Starscream brought a tool up to the side of Skywarp's head.

"Uhh, Starscream, not like I'm objecting to the procedure, but aren't you supposed to kill my sensory array in that area before you start?"

"Your eyes are fine," Starscream scoffed, not even pausing. Thundercracker seemed to have found something, and brought it, as well as a chair to put it on, in front of Skywarp before going to stand by his friend's side. "Skyfire didn't actually mess around with your eyes themselves- your optical systems are fine. He just put a disruptor in there. Sick bastard probably wanted to keep your eyes functioning, if blind. More expressive, I suppose."

"He probably just didn't want to screw around with anything that delicate in case he did 'Warp irreparable damage."

"No one asked you Thundercracker. There. And in three, two, one."

Light flooded Skywarp's eyes and he flinched after so long in the dark. Bringing his hands away from his face, shutters spiraling rapidly to adjust, he twisted each limb in front of his face, clenching and releasing his fingers. His fingers, undeniably, but blue. And a little off. A little delicate in their movements. Like they had been recalibrated for careful tasks, the way a scientist's hands were. Not quite that careful, but a good imitation.

Absorbing that information, he steeled himself, and looked up into the reflective sheet metal that Thundercracker had found. His optics stared back, bright and red, unnerved, but his own. He reached up one blue hand to touch his face. His face, his lips, the planes of his cheeks. Burnished, dark steel, charcoal grey and gleaming. The sharp contrast between its darkness against the bright smears of white and red that remained on the rest of him was only set off by the solid black of his repainted wings and the bald metal patches across his entire body.

He'd had a pretty good idea of what he looked like, of how far the shuttle had gone, but knowing and seeing were two different things. Thundercracker didn't say anything, just gave his shoulder a squeeze and went back to getting the red off Skywarp's pelvic plates.

Starscream carefully put his tools back in their places, returned the tray, and walked back. He did not start working again the way Thundercracker had, but simply watched Skywarp studying himself for a moment, then leaned down to his audial.

"Now you will shut up. And you will not speak of this again. If you do, if you ever even hint at it, I will give you back. Understood?"

Skywarp, still staring, nodded.

"Good. Now let's get the rest of that scrap off you before we drag you down to Hook. Your wing is a mess."