Fic for jamirblaze
Title: Five Expressions with no Explanations
Author: alldoubtaboutit
Pairing: Ian/Pieter, with Grant/Michael on the side
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All fictional.
Requirements: Pretty much anything, except for kink like blood play, water sports, or scat; dark or depressing storyline.
Prompts: Cricket and iced water, which doesn't feature much, actually.
Notes: Much love goes out to spherissa who betaed this for me! <3 Also, I plucked five random Australian expressions from some guide to Aussie slang, but ahaha, some are quite obscure so I shall provide the explanations after the fic.
Five Expressions with no Explanations
Don't come the raw prawn
Pieter claimed that he knew what cricket was all about, after reading up on it in Wikipedia.
Grant had laughed, and it would have been derisive laughter if Pieter weren't a friend, and he said that Wikipedia would never be able to represent what cricket was accurately.
So of course, the end result was that Pieter would go over to Australia, and Grant would take him to a match.
On the first day of the match, Pieter did nothing but eat. Grant had the vague feeling that Pieter wasn't listening at all when he tried to explain certain things, and gave up after a while.
That's a monty
Grant called Ian later, to tell him of Pieter's lack of enthusiasm for a sport such as cricket, but much to his dismay Ian didn't sympathise at all. Ian said that Pieter wouldn't like such things, and he brushed it off all too easily. Grant didn't know how to carry on, but Ian made the suggestion that they should have a barbecue instead, because it would be a more accessible activity for Pieter.
The barbecue was in Ian's house, and Grant had to concede that Ian knew Pieter better. Pieter was such an active participant he offered to barbecue the steak.
There were a lot of flies, as usual, and when it was Ian's turn to barbecue, Pieter pranced about waving paper plates in his arms in his bid to shoo the flies, while Grant just stood there gulping down iced water obsessively.
Grant told Pieter that it might be more effective if Pieter actually killed the flies. Pieter pranced over and smacked him on the head, under the claim that he was swatting a fly. Some of the iced water he was sipping spilled down the front of his shirt, so Grant pretended to be angry, but Pieter saw through it.
Like a house on fire
They were all cleaning up, and suddenly, Grant realised that he was the third wheel around here. Ian was holding open a black trash bag and Pieter was dumping empty paper plates into it. They were both laughing away, as if they were in a world of their own, and Grant also realised that from the look in their eyes, that, well, they liked each other. And like in the movies, there'll be this awful geeky guy who will never get the pretty girl, or guy, in this case. That sort of thing. Grant realised that Pieter had made the trip all the way from the Netherlands to see Ian, not him. And Grant realised that he didn't have any idea why he was thinking such thoughts, since-since he didn't have feelings for Pieter in the first place, or did he? Grant couldn't tell, and all he knew was that right now, Pieter was dumping empty plates into Ian's plastic bag, and it seemed like a horrid euphemism for what they did at night or not even at night. Grant didn't know how he could consider throwing rubbish away a euphemism for anything anyway, because it really was a very, very bad euphemism. Grant gulped down the last of his iced water, and walked up to Ian's bag and threw the plastic cup in.
You've got Buckleys
And things got worse because later, Pieter and Ian both sent him off on his way home, as if Pieter didn't have a hotel room to return to.
Grant didn't even bother to ask why Pieter wasn't leaving. He normally would have, in a joking manner, but now, he was preoccupied with thoughts about how he should have known it all the while, as images of Pieter and Ian celebrating one-two wins or world records broken swam about in his mind.
Grant realised that he was thinking like a girl now, that he wasn't thinking clearly, and he should concentrate on his career and the upcoming World Championships in Montreal.
In which neither Ian nor Pieter were taking part.
Grant tried to ignore the ringing alarm bells in his head. What did all this mean, Ian and Pieter suddenly deciding not to take part? Okay, so they both decided not to take part quite some time ago, and Pieter had just undergone surgery, so it wasn't some weird rash decision thing whereby Ian would get married to Pieter and move to the Netherlands and leave Grant all alone to swim for Australia. Wait, were the alarm bells ringing in his head alarm bells at all? Could they...could they have been wedding bells? Grant realised that he was being very silly, and made himself count sheep instead.
Bob's your uncle
At the FINA World Championships, Grant Hackett met Michael Phelps, and Michael had confessed to feeling much more relaxed than ever, in the absence of Ian Thorpe and Pieter van den Hoogenband, and Grant agreed wholeheartedly. Then he went to Michael’s room to spend the night, and the rest was history.
---
Alright, the meaning of the expressions, as that guide tells me, so don't kill me if it's wrong or something:
Don't come the raw prawn - Don't be an idiot; don't act dumb
That's a monty - That's a certainty
Like a house on fire - Usually used to describe couples, and that their relationship is going well.
You've got Buckleys - You've got no chance
Bob's your uncle - Everything's okay/expression used for closure
jamirblaze, hope you like it!
Author: alldoubtaboutit
Pairing: Ian/Pieter, with Grant/Michael on the side
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All fictional.
Requirements: Pretty much anything, except for kink like blood play, water sports, or scat; dark or depressing storyline.
Prompts: Cricket and iced water, which doesn't feature much, actually.
Notes: Much love goes out to spherissa who betaed this for me! <3 Also, I plucked five random Australian expressions from some guide to Aussie slang, but ahaha, some are quite obscure so I shall provide the explanations after the fic.
Five Expressions with no Explanations
Don't come the raw prawn
Pieter claimed that he knew what cricket was all about, after reading up on it in Wikipedia.
Grant had laughed, and it would have been derisive laughter if Pieter weren't a friend, and he said that Wikipedia would never be able to represent what cricket was accurately.
So of course, the end result was that Pieter would go over to Australia, and Grant would take him to a match.
On the first day of the match, Pieter did nothing but eat. Grant had the vague feeling that Pieter wasn't listening at all when he tried to explain certain things, and gave up after a while.
That's a monty
Grant called Ian later, to tell him of Pieter's lack of enthusiasm for a sport such as cricket, but much to his dismay Ian didn't sympathise at all. Ian said that Pieter wouldn't like such things, and he brushed it off all too easily. Grant didn't know how to carry on, but Ian made the suggestion that they should have a barbecue instead, because it would be a more accessible activity for Pieter.
The barbecue was in Ian's house, and Grant had to concede that Ian knew Pieter better. Pieter was such an active participant he offered to barbecue the steak.
There were a lot of flies, as usual, and when it was Ian's turn to barbecue, Pieter pranced about waving paper plates in his arms in his bid to shoo the flies, while Grant just stood there gulping down iced water obsessively.
Grant told Pieter that it might be more effective if Pieter actually killed the flies. Pieter pranced over and smacked him on the head, under the claim that he was swatting a fly. Some of the iced water he was sipping spilled down the front of his shirt, so Grant pretended to be angry, but Pieter saw through it.
Like a house on fire
They were all cleaning up, and suddenly, Grant realised that he was the third wheel around here. Ian was holding open a black trash bag and Pieter was dumping empty paper plates into it. They were both laughing away, as if they were in a world of their own, and Grant also realised that from the look in their eyes, that, well, they liked each other. And like in the movies, there'll be this awful geeky guy who will never get the pretty girl, or guy, in this case. That sort of thing. Grant realised that Pieter had made the trip all the way from the Netherlands to see Ian, not him. And Grant realised that he didn't have any idea why he was thinking such thoughts, since-since he didn't have feelings for Pieter in the first place, or did he? Grant couldn't tell, and all he knew was that right now, Pieter was dumping empty plates into Ian's plastic bag, and it seemed like a horrid euphemism for what they did at night or not even at night. Grant didn't know how he could consider throwing rubbish away a euphemism for anything anyway, because it really was a very, very bad euphemism. Grant gulped down the last of his iced water, and walked up to Ian's bag and threw the plastic cup in.
You've got Buckleys
And things got worse because later, Pieter and Ian both sent him off on his way home, as if Pieter didn't have a hotel room to return to.
Grant didn't even bother to ask why Pieter wasn't leaving. He normally would have, in a joking manner, but now, he was preoccupied with thoughts about how he should have known it all the while, as images of Pieter and Ian celebrating one-two wins or world records broken swam about in his mind.
Grant realised that he was thinking like a girl now, that he wasn't thinking clearly, and he should concentrate on his career and the upcoming World Championships in Montreal.
In which neither Ian nor Pieter were taking part.
Grant tried to ignore the ringing alarm bells in his head. What did all this mean, Ian and Pieter suddenly deciding not to take part? Okay, so they both decided not to take part quite some time ago, and Pieter had just undergone surgery, so it wasn't some weird rash decision thing whereby Ian would get married to Pieter and move to the Netherlands and leave Grant all alone to swim for Australia. Wait, were the alarm bells ringing in his head alarm bells at all? Could they...could they have been wedding bells? Grant realised that he was being very silly, and made himself count sheep instead.
Bob's your uncle
At the FINA World Championships, Grant Hackett met Michael Phelps, and Michael had confessed to feeling much more relaxed than ever, in the absence of Ian Thorpe and Pieter van den Hoogenband, and Grant agreed wholeheartedly. Then he went to Michael’s room to spend the night, and the rest was history.
---
Alright, the meaning of the expressions, as that guide tells me, so don't kill me if it's wrong or something:
Don't come the raw prawn - Don't be an idiot; don't act dumb
That's a monty - That's a certainty
Like a house on fire - Usually used to describe couples, and that their relationship is going well.
You've got Buckleys - You've got no chance
Bob's your uncle - Everything's okay/expression used for closure
jamirblaze, hope you like it!