Heya All!
I am an advanced diver now! Yay!
Haha, OK, it's not really that exciting. Still, it's kinda cool :)
Things here have been pretty stressful lately. Crazy party last night - which actually ended on a pretty depressing note. Things have in generally actually been pretty depressing and lonely lately. Frustrating, because I want so badly to have a good time! Don't get me wrong, I still had an amazing time last night, just a little bit of it was also depressing. Lol, most of the night I was too drunk to care about the depressing stuff which is definitely what I needed. Suprising to me, the girls are the ones who ended up making me feel better about life last night. I am definitely going to be hanging out with them at campus next year, and I doubt I'll see very much of the guys. Not that I dislike them or anything, but most of them really don't care about us, at least not about me. I see them every day and I know they don't even know me, or care to. I was suprised last night by some people though, people who I though just had a tough exterior, but actually cared... turns out they really don't... I don't know maybe I'm just confused...
ANYWAY that doesn't really matter. I am just seriously frazzled and stressed lately. Definitely not because of school either which is pretty suprising. A friend of mine has been pretty seriously sick lately, and it's been bringing up a lot of issues that I have never dealt with about my father. It makes it even more difficult to work through these issues when I don't really have many people to confide in. No one that I feel really comfortable exposing myself to like that. It frustrates me too, because I feel like I have such issues with serious illness (even when I know it's not THAT serious, and that they are going to be fine, that there is no real risk) that it somehow makes me damaged. I feel like it is such a weakness. I know a this is mostly just a huge pile of irrational fear - but it still makes me stressed, and I have trouble dealing with it by myself here :(
GAH I can't help getting back to this sad stuff!
Things here really aren't going bad - just some emotional issues.
I really miss everyone from home, can't wait to see you all :) Anyone who sees me on AIM or anything remind me to mail postcards! I have them all stamped and everything, I just keep forgetting!
See you all soon, much love!
Haha, OK, it's not really that exciting. Still, it's kinda cool :)
Things here have been pretty stressful lately. Crazy party last night - which actually ended on a pretty depressing note. Things have in generally actually been pretty depressing and lonely lately. Frustrating, because I want so badly to have a good time! Don't get me wrong, I still had an amazing time last night, just a little bit of it was also depressing. Lol, most of the night I was too drunk to care about the depressing stuff which is definitely what I needed. Suprising to me, the girls are the ones who ended up making me feel better about life last night. I am definitely going to be hanging out with them at campus next year, and I doubt I'll see very much of the guys. Not that I dislike them or anything, but most of them really don't care about us, at least not about me. I see them every day and I know they don't even know me, or care to. I was suprised last night by some people though, people who I though just had a tough exterior, but actually cared... turns out they really don't... I don't know maybe I'm just confused...
ANYWAY that doesn't really matter. I am just seriously frazzled and stressed lately. Definitely not because of school either which is pretty suprising. A friend of mine has been pretty seriously sick lately, and it's been bringing up a lot of issues that I have never dealt with about my father. It makes it even more difficult to work through these issues when I don't really have many people to confide in. No one that I feel really comfortable exposing myself to like that. It frustrates me too, because I feel like I have such issues with serious illness (even when I know it's not THAT serious, and that they are going to be fine, that there is no real risk) that it somehow makes me damaged. I feel like it is such a weakness. I know a this is mostly just a huge pile of irrational fear - but it still makes me stressed, and I have trouble dealing with it by myself here :(
GAH I can't help getting back to this sad stuff!
Things here really aren't going bad - just some emotional issues.
I really miss everyone from home, can't wait to see you all :) Anyone who sees me on AIM or anything remind me to mail postcards! I have them all stamped and everything, I just keep forgetting!
See you all soon, much love!