smile!
forced family fun
rating: pg-13
characters: Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Thor
warnings: language
summary: Family dinners are always a spectacle in the Avengers Tower.
He can take anything, anything at all, just not -
"Goddamn it, Barton, quit that caterwauling or so help me I will lock you out of the Tower, I mean it this time."
Clint, cheeky disrespectful fucker that he is, merely flips Tony a two-fingered salute and carries on singing, spatula stirring the homemade pasta sauce bubbling in the pan.
As Tony starts concocting ways to make the archer regret this absolute travesty, Rogers finishes pulling the unbelievable number of salad dressings they have out of the refrigerator.
"Maybe you should go easy on him," he says, looking up from corralling the stray bottles on the counter. "After all, it's the first snow of the year."
"Lies, all lies, if you'll recall there was definitely snow in New York City as late as April, of this year in fact."
Steve's eyes are dancing, there's a laugh in the twitching corners of his mouth, and Tony has the feeling he's said something terribly wrong.
"Well, Tony, maybe you should," and there's a pause for effect, the bastard, those cheesy war films just built on the dramatic flair the man had been born with, "let it go."
Tony groans at the pun, dropping his head into his hands as laughter comes from Bruce, the traitor, and Natasha's smirk is a tangible presence in the kitchen.
Thor and Clint merely carry on belting out the Frozen hit at the top of their lungs and given that it's Thor, god of thunder, and Barton, circus clown extraordinaire, that's pretty damn loud.
"I hate you all," Tony announces, and consoles himself with an excellent red wine.