(no subject)
I'm not entirely religious. I believe in my faith and in God and in all that I have been taught, but I don't attend mass regularly. But after the Sandy Hill massacre, my perceptions of things have changed. I'm going to be a teacher in a few short years. I'm going to be teaching students just like the young, innocent victims who were so senselessly taken away. I want to say I'd be as brave as the teachers who gave their lives while shielding their students from the bullets, but I'm afraid that my fear would overcome that bravery and I wouldn't be successful. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be a failure. When I saw this picture posted by a friend on Facebook, it touched me beyond any words that could be said about the shooting. No, I may not be the most religious person in the world, but I believe that this is how those young 20 young children, and the six adults as well, were welcomed into Heaven. I have no doubt that they are truly home now, and I can honestly say I've never felt that way before, even with the death of loved ones. All the deaths in my life have come about because of natural causes and have been expected. I have never in my life heard about or ever expected 20 kindergartners to be senselessly slaughtered in a classroom when they did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I have to believe in faith and a higher power because it gives me hope that those kids died for a reason. That their time, although short, was up here on this earth so that they could spend the rest of their eternal lives in a place so much better and so much more peaceful than anything they had experienced here on Earth. I think the thing that makes me so upset is thinking about what those children saw during their last moments. I can't image the fear and confusion that was running through their little minds in the last moments of their lives. Here I am, twenty years old, and I've never had to experience something as terrifying as they experienced. Seeing their little faces spread across the news makes me instantly cry. As I sit here writing this, I'm crying. I feel guilty that I'm able to experience times of joy and excitement and temporarily forget about the incident, while I know that for the families and the entire community of Newtown, they cannot, and will not, ever be able to forget the tragic events of three days ago. But looking back at this photo, I have hope that the kids are looking down on their families and on their parents, giving them signs that they are okay. That they never have to experience or see evil and violence ever again. That they're safe, and that they were graciously welcomed into Heaven. I don't want to be naive and say that this event will change my ways regarding religion. I most likely won't start going to church every week simply because of this event. But I still have to believe in it. I have to believe that something greater exists after this life. Because while I'm fortunate to still be alive, I know that my time will one day be up. And when it is, I want to be able to see my loved ones who have passed as well as the victims of Sandy Hook and, for the first time, see an image of complete and true peace. Rest in peace, victims of Sandy Hook.