(no subject)
ok so i knew something was wrong..saturday before i left to go out with staci my mom came home walked the dog and then went straight to bed...she didnt say one word to neone i didnt even know that she had came home..so i walked in her room and was like you cant tell anyone good night and she was just shruged her shoulders..then my sister told me that my mom and stepdad have been having problems and that they just rnt happy..well today i got out of work and got in the car and my mom was like i need to ask you a ? and i said okay and she said how would you feel if jason left us..and i was like whatever and shes like wouldnt you be upset and i was like i guess..i said i would rather him leave us then stay with us and not be happy..she said well they are thinking about spliting up and if he moves out hes gonna leave us the house and take all his movies satrwars stuff and the futon and thats it..she said he feels like he failed us as a father and a husband..and that they just rnt happy nemore and cant deal with it..i was like okay..i mean heck i have been dumped on by my dad and now hes gonna leave us i think i can handle it..yeah i mean i was like wow my mom FINALLY found someone and i had noclue that it would ever happen again...i dont know i feel emotionless like i could care less maybe its cause im used to people walking out or maybe the fact that when hes here i never see him neways so its like he allready left us..i dunno...well when amber gets home we're all going out to dinner..i wanna try to do nething i can to get out of it..i cant stand to be with them and know about it and act like nothings happening..and i know they r going to wanna talk bout it and im just not feeling up to it right now...you know if he leaves us thats it im gone im gonna move out as soon as 18 hits..i cant handle this nemore..im tired mentally physically and im giving up....its so bad...like i havent even been to church in 5 wks....i dont know whats wrong with me but i havent been wanting to go..uh!!!!!!!