Blah, Blah, blah

[sweettessa_nj]

Ugh. I am so miserable again today, I am sitting here alone on my day off waiting to get my little guy. His father took him to a wedding. I feel so angry about that whole damn thing. I hate that my son is at a wedding with him and his gf and the wedding is her family. I am so angry and resentful towards her and its just not healthy at all for me. But I can't seem to stop. I have just been laying around all day watching lifetime. Every little thing seems to make me cry. Briana and Lenny are at my Aunts at a birthday party I probably should have went but I didnt want to miss the baby. As if Iggy would ever be on time.

John wants to hang out tonight but I am in no mood nor do I even want to hang out with him. I dont know why I continue to lead men on that I have no interest in. Its such a waste of time and energy. Perhaps I like the attention but it annoys me just the same. I think I need a girlfriend. But I just have no clue even where to begin to find one around here. And dont know how that would go over with the kids.

I just want to snap out of this awful mood that I am in. I worked a double yesterday and barely made it to the end of the night. I was so exhausted. I wish I could sleep now but I can't.

I really feel so totally alone and have this feeling I am always going to be alone. I am not a happy person at all anymore.