mint chocolate chip - part four
It happened again and again in the next month, every single day with the same routine. Nothing changed about the way that Sehun sauntered up to the register, leaning over the counter and sliding his fingers over Kai's, or speaking in code that only Kai could understand. When Sehun talked about choreography, it meant that he wanted to make out with Kai, or when Sehun talked about music, it meant that he would be back later to make out with Kai. Kai had become an expert at reading between the lines, at figuring out precisely what Sehun wanted from him. His coworkers had begun to notice the tall boy who always came by to order one Kai Special, never anything else, and who lingered for far too long at the register, but Kai didn't really care though he knew Sehun did.
Summer had begun to wane, and soon, Kai would be packing up his things to go to college the next town over. Sehun would be going even further away to debut in New York with his dance group, and that would be the end of that. A fleeting summer...fling, or whatever this was. Kai had learned not to get attached to things very easily; it had been ingrained in him from a young age not to want things as desperately as he really did, not to show that he was emotional about everything under the sun. But for some reason, Sehun made Kai crave emotion, crave need, and crave want. Sehun made Kai feel extraordinary, extraordinarily alive, and he wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Something about today was different, too. Kai had been texting Sehun when he suddenly appeared, as if Kai had sent out a telepathic missive to bring him to the ice cream store. Sehun leaned over the counter but instead of ordering something, he merely rested his hand on Kai's, intertwining their fingers together. Kai leaned forward, too, and with a hushed voice, he hissed, What are you doing?
Sehun smiled but it didn't feel natural. It was almost forced, the way his lips drooped at the sides, and when Kai met his eyes, they were dull and lifeless. Instead of speaking in code, Sehun was talking frankly now. I'm going to miss you, you know. I'm going to miss this
Kai could hear the blood rushing through his veins, single thumps that began to speed up as Sehun leaned in closer. I'm going to miss kissing you. I'm going to miss holding you. I'm going to miss being an absolute dick to you. Kai let out a sharp bark of a laugh, and Sehun smiled wanly again. I'm leaving, Kai. I'm sorry.
What? Where? Kai started forward. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Not yet, anyway. It was too soon. Sehun was smiling wanly once again and pulling back as he made his way to the boardwalk, and Kai barely had a second to shout to his coworkers before he was pushing open the service entrance door and running after Sehun. Wait!
He nearly slipped as he sprinted, all limbs, after Sehun, who was walking just slowly enough for Kai to catch up. Stop! Can you just stop? Kai pleaded as he ran in front of Sehun. Sehun's eyes drifted downwards, and even as Kai reached for his hands, he already knew with a violent tug at his heart, that Sehun really was leaving. Please don't go.
And then Sehun was pressing his lips to Kai's, right there on the boardwalk, and the unbearable familiarity of it, the ache that Kai felt whenever Sehun's lips were on his, whenever Sehun's hands were on his back, whenever he pulled him close - it was tearing him from the inside out. Sehun was an arrogant fucking dick, but Kai had grown to love it. You can't leave, Kai managed between kisses. You can't, you just can't.
One last kiss, and then Sehun was fisting Kai's clothing, pulling him close for a hug, but Kai was frozen, almost rooted to the spot refusing to take it all in. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't supposed to be this stupid emotional thing, it was just supposed to be kissing because Kai liked kissing. When did it all go so wrong? Sehun let go of Kai, pushing him slightly, as he made his way down the boardwalk. There was that black SUV again, on the cross street, its side door open, ready to take Sehun and transport him somewhere far away from this pathetic suburbia.
Even as Kai watched Sehun disappear inside the car, he wanted to dry heave. He wanted to vomit right there on the boardwalk, throw up every feeling he was having because it hurt. He hadn't let himself feel like this in a long time, he hadn't let himself feel the pain and the overwhelming sadness and the biting anger that would come later ever since his first and only botched audition four years ago. He hadn't let himself feel so raw in so long, and he fucking hated Sehun for doing it.
He forced himself to walk back to the ice cream store, and as he sped up his pace, hoping the flat slaps against his feet from the asphalt would mute his pain, he felt something prickly dig into his side. Ow, he said aloud, pressing his hand against his side. He felt something resembling...a piece of paper? He stopped now, taking his jacket off and rummaging around in the pockets before his fingers connected. He pulled the piece of paper out gingerly only to find that it was an envelope. His name was written with a handwriting slightly better than chicken scratch, and instinctively, he knew Sehun had left it when he was hugging him. The little shit.
He reached inside and, instead of a letter, which Kai had assumed it would be, he found plane tickets. He read the words New York just once before it registered. Just once before he realized what this meant. It was a plane ticket to New York. To Sehun. Sehun wasn't ready to end this, wasn't ready to let this fade with the summer.
And Kai wouldn't let it fade, either.
----fin----