Minor Interuptions
So I hate it when I have things all figured out and then there is something that comes right in and changes things. I sat here today and placed everything in their rightful place and scheduled things accordingly, and here you come.. Demanding that you receive this by Christmas time. there is no way that I will be able to facilitate that request.
I am the type of person where I don’t like shit not going to plan. If I have something that is supposed to be taken care of in a certain way then that is the way that I want it. We have a lot of issues with that at times… he sees grey, I see black and white. There are times when I will allow grey to enter my world, but they are so few and far in between, I think that I will be able to convert him to black and white. Its give and take… so when there is no agreement between the 2, I let it be grey, knowing good and damn well that its black and white… but I digress.
We have a plan.. we are trying to stick to this plan and I don’t like it when there are external factors that come into play. Granted, there is nothing that neither one of us would have been able to do to prevent this from happening short of not going to college, so this is something that we are going to have to deal with.
I have been having these thoughts though. I have been thinking about selling the JL. Since it has come into my life, its been nothing but trouble and quite frankly, the responsibility is way more then they can handle at least for now. I had great intentions about this but it seems that although the intentions where there, the responsible party has not proven themselves so. Granted, I am mainly referring to the constant accumulation of tickets that essentially fall on my behalf because I am the said owner of the JL, but I don’t like giving out money if I don’t absolutely have to. Its just a thought.. no action yet. The JL has proven to be a great help though, but since residential location will be changing in the next 2 weeks, there would not really be a need for the JL. I just really want to cut costs where I can. The upcoming year, I would like to do something nice for myself and I don’t want to hinder myself in the process because of all these other obligations
I hate not being able to do what I want. We have a few things planned for next year and would love one last hoorah before we actually get knee deep into it. But I know that all things will come in time. the only thing that I am really concerned about is that we have food in our bellies and a roof over our heads. Everything else will fall into place.
Surprisingly enough (at least to me) I have been yearning alone time with him of course. I don’t like the fact that where we are, even though we are alone.. we are not really alone. And we need privacy. I don’t like the restrictions that we have there and I am glad that we were able to agree on that aspect of it. Once again here is another situation where good intentions were there, but in the end it was not the right move. I am glad though… elated to be exact. I want my own space and closet and kitchen and W/D ..etc. I don’t want to have to rely on the mood of an external person (MIL) to determine if I am going to be able to cook something for me to eat or wash my clothes depending on the day that she had. I am a grown ass woman and I don’t need to be where I am. I was certain that I was not going to allow myself to get pregnant when I was there. There was no way that it was going to happen. I would chew my left hand off before that would happen. I saw it as a death sentence. I would not be able to allocate the money for an apartment and manage to save for a child while being there. That’s the situation that my SIL is in.. 2 kids and every time she says that she is saving to move out.. guess what.. it does not happen. CANT BE ME THAT’S FOR SURE.
So in the meantime we have been packing boxes and getting things ready. 12/31 cant come soon enough.