I've realized something...
Talking with a good friend these past few nights really helped bring things in perspective for me. I have no friends. I don't mean that to sound gothy or depressed mind you, but what is the definition of a friend? "Someone who is there to support you and stick by you. Someone who will be there if I need them for something." For I don't know how long, I've been giving nothing but all of myself to my friends. Sure, I haven't been completely reliable all the time but I have been very trustworthy. I've given my all to my friends and what have I gotten in return? I went through my head and thought about the people who would actually show up if I had called them and said that I needed them. And my list was sparse, my friends. I can count the number of people on my one hand that I could count on to be there for me... and how pathetic is that? I've made a decision that this next year is going to be about fixing myself. I've made the decision to lose weight, get healthier and fix this problem I have with relying on people....
It's funny that the people I hold closest to me are the people furthest away...
The words to this song are almost too true...
I'm filling up inside, like I need to open wide and pour my heart out to you...
But I'll just get denied and all I wanted was someone to hear what I'm going through.
Everytime that I need you around you're never there, you're never there....
Because in my life is where I need you now but you're never there, you're never there....
You were supposed to see... all the signs I left to read, in front of your face...
You were supposed to be... the closest thing to being me but you're the furthest away
Everytime that I need you around you're never there, you're never there...
Because in my life is where I need you now but you're never there, you're never there... you're never there!!
And I doubt...that I will ever find out, if there's a way to get out... of feeling all alone!
And maybe, I've been thinking maybe... that no one's gonna save me... I'll do it on my own! On my own....on my own....
It's funny that the people I hold closest to me are the people furthest away...
The words to this song are almost too true...
I'm filling up inside, like I need to open wide and pour my heart out to you...
But I'll just get denied and all I wanted was someone to hear what I'm going through.
Everytime that I need you around you're never there, you're never there....
Because in my life is where I need you now but you're never there, you're never there....
You were supposed to see... all the signs I left to read, in front of your face...
You were supposed to be... the closest thing to being me but you're the furthest away
Everytime that I need you around you're never there, you're never there...
Because in my life is where I need you now but you're never there, you're never there... you're never there!!
And I doubt...that I will ever find out, if there's a way to get out... of feeling all alone!
And maybe, I've been thinking maybe... that no one's gonna save me... I'll do it on my own! On my own....on my own....