Why do I stay?
Last year I went through forever thinking about this too...
Two years in a row now I haven't even applied to go away to a college cause I've had to much hope and too much faith in things here turning around, that I didn't want to give up... I remember how hard it was for me to find my spot here, how much I hated being here, how much I just wanted to be home. It was so much and so hard for me to handle. Then I at least had my family, could I leave and be strong enough on my own. And I know I couldn't have made it through the last 5 months without my best friend, how could I even think about leaving my friends when I needed them so much? But then I think though it was hard finding my spot here, I found it and I wouldn't have changed it for anything... I loved it here and I was happier that I ever had been here, do I need another change so I can find that all over again? But with everything that's gone on in my life lately am I strong enough to start all over alone? Last year there turned out to be a reason that I turned down that slot into western that I didn't even have to apply for. I turned it down again this year but what if there's not a reason. Everything happens for a reason right? and I just need to have faith and believe? But there's this desicion I've been fighting with for so long... Should I stay though I'm loosing faith in the reasons I stayed or should I go and give up?
if everythings planned out and there really is fate and destiny, then why am I faced with decision? Either way life goes on, I just don't which way I'll end up happier...
Two years in a row now I haven't even applied to go away to a college cause I've had to much hope and too much faith in things here turning around, that I didn't want to give up... I remember how hard it was for me to find my spot here, how much I hated being here, how much I just wanted to be home. It was so much and so hard for me to handle. Then I at least had my family, could I leave and be strong enough on my own. And I know I couldn't have made it through the last 5 months without my best friend, how could I even think about leaving my friends when I needed them so much? But then I think though it was hard finding my spot here, I found it and I wouldn't have changed it for anything... I loved it here and I was happier that I ever had been here, do I need another change so I can find that all over again? But with everything that's gone on in my life lately am I strong enough to start all over alone? Last year there turned out to be a reason that I turned down that slot into western that I didn't even have to apply for. I turned it down again this year but what if there's not a reason. Everything happens for a reason right? and I just need to have faith and believe? But there's this desicion I've been fighting with for so long... Should I stay though I'm loosing faith in the reasons I stayed or should I go and give up?
if everythings planned out and there really is fate and destiny, then why am I faced with decision? Either way life goes on, I just don't which way I'll end up happier...