...

[sweetlilangel06]

I know I havent updated in a while. But right now, I am very very pissed, and very very upset. I can't really talk about it, because it's not something I am allowed to tell. Although, I wish that I could tell everyone, then everyone could know not to be friends with such backstabbing, selfish people. I didnt know until very recently, thus the change in attitude. No..I am not in my normal happy, bubbly, perky mood, but not I am bitter, angry and I cant stop crying. Justin...I know you will try to help, don't. I cant tell you. If it werent for the fact that I have an essay to do, I would give these people a piece of my mind right now. And I can already see how it's going to happen. I will confront them, because this is hurting me worse than anything ever has, and they will offer excuses. Yea...give me these fucking bullshit excuses to make them look like perfect angels that were merely victims in this plot against me. Well you know what, I cant accept that this time. I have had to do that too many times. I can no longer throw my broken and bruised feelings aside for the sake of making someone else happy. No, this time I will blame them, I will be angry. And it is so unfortunate that this should come at such a time. The worst part is...they thought I wouldnt need to know! Oh no, it doenst concern you. Just the reason for all of my happiness rested on this and now it has been shattered into a million pieces. And I don't think I can ever put these pieces back together...I want to more than anything. I would love to be able to sit there and put all of these pieces back together...but it is impossible...and all of that glass would cut into my hands, hurting me further and getting me nowhere...I really have to do this essay...but I am so angry. I sure hope I dont just spontaneously kill these people tomorrow...

One bright spot, when you have something like this happen, it reveals who are your friends and who arent. You realize who is really really there for you, not who lies and tells you they care and they dont.

Sorry if I sound so mean, but I am mad. When your entire world gets turned upside down and you realize you have been living a lie, and everything that you had hoped for and believed in is gone...its difficult to be happy.