(no subject)
I really really cannot stand my parents. I hate being here and I hate them so fucking much!! Guess what! Because my parents refuse to fill out the effing tax return shit for the loan I don't get it. Morningside can't varify it without the tax returns so I get nothing. I can't fucking pay for that!! therefore I'm not going to morningside this year. So lets see. that leaves me about two weeks to see if I can fucking get into fucking ISU. I don't want to go there!! I am so upset!!! I cried for two and a half hours over at Danny's house yesterday about this. I feel absolutly horribe. I don't even know if I can fucking get all this shit into ISU because its to late and then what? I'll go to dmacc and feel stupid cause I never pictured myself going to dmacc and then transfer all my shit at semester. I'll still be away from Danny and never get to see him except for breaks. That scares me more than death. I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose him, I don't want to leave him. I feel like I'm abandoning him by going to ISU and I feel like such a bad girlfriend you have no idea!! I would never forgive myself if something happened between us because he was @ morningside and i was at ISU because I know that it would have been my fault. If I could have found some fucking way to go to morningside then nothing would ever happen between us. I'm so sick of crying!! My eyes feel so raw from crying that much yesterday and I cried myself to sleep last night and then I woke up in the morning and cried some more, called Danny after I stopped crying and then started crying on the phone with him again. I seriously think that my eyes have run out of tears. I'm so sick of this! Its not fair and I don't know what to do!!! I feel so lost and just....broken