(no subject)
I hate crying in front of people. Unless its because I'm crying because of a movie I'm watching I absolutely hate people seeing me cry. It makes me feel so stupid and horribly ugly. I am so ready to just get out of here and to be out on my own. I'm so tired of being picked and chastised because of my choices. Seriously I feel like I did like two years ago...except its different-only in the sense that I know that I have someone that will listen to me and someone who wants to listen to me. I just don't necessarily like talking about everything because I hate talking about my problems. It really makes me feel really conceded and selfish. Like I'm being all me me me sorta. And I just feel like I'm complaining and I'm wasting their time. I just *ugh* idk. Whenever I do that though I always end up freaking out about the smallest things that don't even matter and causing problems and then I break down and start crying like I did today and just feel like a retarded loser. ugh! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!??