(no subject)
Oh my god -
There is a FUCKING HUGE BUG on the wall right next to me, I have no idea what the fuck it is. It has huge legs and a huge body and it's kind of leaf shaped, like those leaf shaped bugs that look like leaves, y'know? Like the kind that are in the fucking RAIN FOREST or DESERT or FIELD or some fucking place, yo.
It's making scrabbling sounds and I am terrified it will leap on me. Why am I still typing? Why am I not running in fear? Oh yes, because it does not have teeth. Lucky like that. Otherwise I would be SO VERY EATEN TO DEATH.
Maybe it's a grasshopper. In any case, wtf is it doing in my house. Also, walking around downtown tonight I saw a really big praying mantis. wtf. wtf. Has somebody just unleashed lots of bizarre exotic insects over my town because this is just weird.
...
Umm, heh. I wrote that last night, and about two seconds after the last line, the beast made another scrabbling noise and made to come towards me. I shrieked my lungs out and ran upstairs, where I babbled incoherently to my father for about five minutes. I then learned from him, former farmboy that he is, that the thing was most likely a leafhopper, and they're quite common in Ky. Just not usually common IN MY HOUSE. And no, knowing what it was did not make me feel better. I'm convinced the thing is hiding in my boots. It was like three inches long, man.
See, I don't mind any bugs except the ones that I can't predict the movements of, or the ones that are faster than me. This includes centipedes, roaches, silverfish, grasshoppers, junebugs... and I hate ladybugs just because I think they're disgusting, I tell you, being in a swarm of ladybugs is no fun. I don't mind spiders, flies, ants and moths. Butterflies I'm totally okay with because I know if it came to a battle to the death, I would win.
Yes, yes, I'm a complete freak.
There is a FUCKING HUGE BUG on the wall right next to me, I have no idea what the fuck it is. It has huge legs and a huge body and it's kind of leaf shaped, like those leaf shaped bugs that look like leaves, y'know? Like the kind that are in the fucking RAIN FOREST or DESERT or FIELD or some fucking place, yo.
It's making scrabbling sounds and I am terrified it will leap on me. Why am I still typing? Why am I not running in fear? Oh yes, because it does not have teeth. Lucky like that. Otherwise I would be SO VERY EATEN TO DEATH.
Maybe it's a grasshopper. In any case, wtf is it doing in my house. Also, walking around downtown tonight I saw a really big praying mantis. wtf. wtf. Has somebody just unleashed lots of bizarre exotic insects over my town because this is just weird.
...
Umm, heh. I wrote that last night, and about two seconds after the last line, the beast made another scrabbling noise and made to come towards me. I shrieked my lungs out and ran upstairs, where I babbled incoherently to my father for about five minutes. I then learned from him, former farmboy that he is, that the thing was most likely a leafhopper, and they're quite common in Ky. Just not usually common IN MY HOUSE. And no, knowing what it was did not make me feel better. I'm convinced the thing is hiding in my boots. It was like three inches long, man.
See, I don't mind any bugs except the ones that I can't predict the movements of, or the ones that are faster than me. This includes centipedes, roaches, silverfish, grasshoppers, junebugs... and I hate ladybugs just because I think they're disgusting, I tell you, being in a swarm of ladybugs is no fun. I don't mind spiders, flies, ants and moths. Butterflies I'm totally okay with because I know if it came to a battle to the death, I would win.
Yes, yes, I'm a complete freak.