yeah...OKAY
well I haven't hated myself like this in a long time. And since I can talk to no one...I guess writing it down to show everyone how I feel is the best decision. I HATE MYSELF! I can't find enough words of dissapointment to describe it really. I told myself I'd never do it again, yet here I am...ONCE AGAIN doing it. I let them hurt me. While feelings may not be at the surface, obviously there is something that is causing me to want to shoot myself and him in the head. I have cheated with him on his girlfriend. Not the first time, and I swore I'd never do it again. So why is it that here I am writing down that I did it again. Why cant people tell me things like...I dunno, BEFORE IT HAPPENS?!?!? This isn't fair really. Why is it soo hard to find someone who WONT do this to me. Oh thats right, because I seem like a whore. My entire personality shouts...look at me, I need to get laid. Thats what it is...silly me. UM NO. I am not like this at all. And what I don't understand was he was going to come over tonight UNTIL I found that he's back with Amber, but just doesn't like being "tied down". I have a solution for this....DONT FUCKING DATE HER. Oooohhh I'm so angry right now I could scream. I am gonna call Teddy. This is my solution to that problem. And why? I will explain. Once one has hurt you, the other cant really do anything to hurt you more...so why not just get it all out on the table. If I'm dead by tomorrow...you'll know why. I cant stand this anymore.