Blind and lonely road
"My life is a circus and I am tripping down this tight rope, there is nothing to save me now so I will not look down." - Papa Roach, Tightrope.
Turns out I'm in the same tutorial with Bree and Natalie and that excited me briefly as for the first time I'd be going in to a class where I knew I actually had friends, however that died dismally in class when the loneliness of isolation kicked in. As per usual, as all my "friends" do, they buddy up and I'm the third wheel. It's funny how I can be surrounded by people who like me or claim so, but I still feel so separate from them, so alone. Surrounded by friends in and out of class, I am not necessarily popular but blessed with an active social life, I am also incredibly alone. Inside this head, inside this bubble, inside despair.
So feeling sad, I buy myself some sexy lingerie. Got a black bra, and this satin skirt thingy, they're suspenders for stockings. Don't know what it's called but it's super hot. Buying lingerie cheers me up, makes me feel gorgeous. And these pieces certainly were. But I cried in the fitting room because I felt fat and James had to reassure me I did look sexy. The items did not look as great on me as I had hoped in my imagination but with James' reassurance I bought them anyway.
Photos would be entirely inappropriate.
James is working tomorrow so I won't be going home during my break. I'll stay at uni, spend $120 on fucking textbooks, and probably stay by my lonesome in the library. If only someone was at uni with me tomorrow, but apparently everyone's week ended today.
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