First day of uni tomorrow
I'm going to be with James during my break tomorrow. And then I'll probably see John as well. I think it's important for me to be around people - well, person, James - who really loves me no matter what. Especially after my break down today.
James' dad said that the doctor trying out what meds work best for me is like a dart board. Trial and error in seeing what will be best (bulls eye) and in attempt may accidentally make me worse.. I'm so embarrassed that James called his parents. They say they care and that they're worried about me but at times, or all the time rather, I feel like I'm just a joke and that everyone laughs at me behind my back. I can act like I don't care and sometimes I really don't care, but deep down I know I'm thought of as a joke and my facade of confidence is to try to prove them wrong.
No one would put up with my craziness and take care of me the way he does. Together we're so volatile. We're so damn bad and so damn good together.
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